


you've got your passion, you've got your pride (but don't you know that only fools are satisfied)

by ava5500



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2020-07-10 20:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 58,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19911424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ava5500/pseuds/ava5500
Summary: Kelley: boisterous, sometimes obnoxious, eager to laugh and learn about the magical world she finds herself in.Alex: Stoic, serious, and a complete mystery to just about everyone around her.You know what they say about opposites.





	1. year one

Kelley O’Hara did not think she was a witch.

  
In fact, if you had called her a witch two months ago, she likely would’ve squared her shoulders, pushing her wiry frame into her signature stand offish stance, ready to fight for her dignity over a perceived insult.

  
Yet here Kelley was – at King’s Cross Station, an unfamiliar wand in her back pocket, saying goodbye to her equally proud and concerned parents. Her head was turned down to hide the nervousness shining through her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her mom’s waist. She morphed her face back into a beaming smile when she looked up, and muttered her final goodbyes before clumsily dragging her suitcase toward the train. Her parents hid their concern just as well as she had as they watched their daughter’s tiny figure climb into the Hogwarts Express and disappear from view.

  
The train was full. That was the first thing Kelley noticed, and she tried to stop the boisterous groups of kids from adding to her growing insecurity. Ollivander had told her not to worry, that muggle borns were natural, even common. Her cheeks still burned when she made eye contact with an older boy in a compartment that had no room for her.

  
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a dark haired girl sitting alone in a compartment near the end of the train. The girl had her legs folded in beneath her and was intently focused on the book resting on her lap. She twirled a piece of her hair between two fingers while chewing on her lip, her other hand playing with the corner of a page. Kelley put on her brightest smile and pulled the door open.

  
“Hi! I’m Kelly! Can I sit here?” Kelley bounced into the compartment, not really waiting for an answer. The girl looked up from her book, her eyes carefully guarded as she took in the distraction. Kelley continued bouncing from foot to foot until the girl spoke.

  
“I don’t see why not,” the girl said, her voice deeper and raspier than what would be expected from her appearance.

  
Kelley grinned lopsidedly at the girl and plopped down in the seat across from her. “What’s your name?”

  
“Morgan. Alex Morgan.”

  
Kelley hadn’t thought to mention her last name, her grin fading a little at the regal way the girl announced her identity. Nevertheless, Kelley stuck out her hand in the way her parents had taught her.

  
“Nice to meet you, Alex Morgan.”

  
Alex eyed her hand carefully, as if considering whether she should reach out and take the friendly gesture. Kelley felt her insecurity bubble back up in her throat as Alex slowly, hesitantly, shook her hand.

  
“Just Morgan is fine.”

  
Kelley gulped, noting the contrast between her light freckled skin and Alex’s tanned, unmarred hand. She pulled her hand away a beat too quickly. Maybe she really wasn’t good enough for the wizarding world, if all magical people were like Alex. But Kelley was nothing if not persistent, so she kept the grin on her face and pushed past Alex’s stony first impression.

  
“Well in that case, I’m O’Hara. Irish, ya know. Did you know about magic before your letter?”

  
Alex raised a single eyebrow at that. “Yes, both my parents are magical. Are yours not?”

  
“No, neither are. This is all kind of crazy to me, honestly,” Kelley said, pulling her wand out of her back pocket to roll in between her fingers. Alex didn’t respond to that, merely looking Kelley up and down as if to analyze whether her appearance matched her heritage. She nodded to herself before going back to her book, still not bothering to keep any conversation flowing. Kelley hmphed and tried again.

  
“Do wizards look for four-leaf clovers?”

  
Alex looked up from her book again, her eyes bordering dangerously on annoyed. Nevertheless, Kelley plowed on.

  
“In the muggle world, they’re considered good luck. My mum and I are always searching for them. Want one for our first year of school?” Kelley pulled one of her green prized possessions from her jeans pocket. It was slightly smushed, but its four-leaves rested easily, hopefully on her palm. She held it out to Alex with a grin, certain her gesture would break the rather thick ice.

  
“Keep it, O’Hara. I’m sure you’ll need it more than I will.”

  
Kelley’s face fell. She opened her mouth to respond, then quickly closed it, her face turning uncharacteristically stormy as she shoved her clover back into her pocket. Alex watched her with her piercing eyes, lingering for a second on the freckled face, then turned them once again back to her book. Kelley slouched in her seat, stared out the window, and wondered how she would survive this strange new world.

  
Luckily, she didn’t have to wait for long. Only minutes after Alex’s cold rejection, their compartment door burst open to reveal a panting boy with a grin bigger than Kelley’s painted across his face. A moment later, a girl ran straight into his back, sending them both toppling into the compartment. They were both giggling wildly, which made Kelley’s face split into a smile as well. Alex eyed the two newcomers in the exact same way she had eyed Kelley, all caution and guarded eyes.

  
The boy was the first to catch his breath, taking the seat next to Kelley. “Hey, I’m Charlie Weasley. This is Tobin Heath. We have to sit here cause everywhere else is full.” His red hair flopped into his eyes as Tobin tried to swallow down her laughter. Kelley automatically liked them, her grin growing until it matched Charlie’s.  
“I’m Kelley and this is Alex.”

  
“Just Morgan,” Alex jutted in, not looking up from her book. Kelley rolled her eyes, sending Tobin into another fit of giggles.

  
“We just walked in on Charlie’s brother Bill snogging a girl in the prefect compartment.” Kelley threw her head back and laughed at that, easily settling in with the two newcomers – Tobin was easily likeable and laid back, Charlie was funny and quick to laughter, and soon Kelley forgot about her lingering insecurity as she made two new friends. She glanced over at Alex every so often anyway, but her eyes stayed on her book for the entire train ride.

  
The four of them walked into the Great Hall together after the boat ride. Charlie and Tobin, both from wizarding families, had teased her about her look of awe at the self rowing boats – but it was a friendly teasing, and Kelley was quick to shoot back with a comment about Charlie’s red hair or Tobin’s size, who was somehow even smaller than Kelley. Alex still hadn’t spoken a word, but Kelley caught her staring with big eyes as the Hogwarts castle came into view. Alex saw Kelley looking and blushed a little, immediately looking back down at the ground. Kelley was slightly proud to break Alex’s composure, even if just in the slightest.

  
“Any idea on what house you want?” Tobin’s voice pulled Kelley’s eyes from Alex and toward the old hat sitting on the stool. Her nervousness resurfaced, and she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth before cracking a joke.

  
“Anything but the yellow one. I look terrible in yellow.” Tobin laughed and shoved at Kelley lightly before they were both shushed by the professor as the first student, Morgan Brian, took a seat.

  
“Slytherin!”

  
As one of the tables erupted in cheers, Charlie wrinkled his nose. “That’s the worst one,” he said solemnly, fear showing in his face. Alex looked at him sharply, her mouth open as if about to say something, but then she turned away. Charlie didn’t notice – his face was getting paler as the next few kids were sorted. Tobin was called, and Kelley laughed as the hat seemed to swallow the small girl whole.

  
“Hufflepuff!”

  
Tobin’s infectious smile slid across her face as she walked to the Hufflepuff table, shooting Kelley and Charlie a thumbs up. She seemed to fit in with her classmates immediately, and Kelley pushed down her anxiety and her envy, forcing her features into her own signature smile.

  
Alex was the next of the four to get sorted, her shoulders back as she walked confidently to the stool. She sat with her legs crossed and her head high. The sorting hat sat on her head for nearly three times as long as it had on anyone else’s; Alex’s eyes growing wide as she struggled to maintain her composure. Alex, Kelley decided, was intriguing – to her, to the Sorting Hat, to the world.

  
Finally, the hat decided, its voice booming out: “Slytherin!”

  
“I could’ve told you that in half the time,” Charlie muttered as Alex strode confidently to sit with her new classmates. Kelley wasn’t sure if she imagined it, but they seemed to greet her with little enthusiasm – a sharp contrast to the first girl who had been greeted with cheers from the Slytherins. She didn’t have much time to mull over it though, because her name was the next to be called out. Despite her shaking legs and uneven breath, she skipped up to the stool, earning a laugh from Charlie. She threw him a wink before pulling the brim of the hat down over her head, trying desperately to calm her beating heart.

  
‘Nervous there, aren’t you? Oh, you won’t show it though. I know exactly where to put you.’ Kelley startled at the voice echoing through her head, but before it had really even begun, it was over. “Gryffindor!”

  
Charlie’s cheer was the loudest as she walked over to greet her new classmates. She searched the Great Hall for Tobin, who was standing and clapping, and then Alex, whose eyes were narrowed as they followed Kelley to her seat. When she saw Kelley looking, she turned away. Kelley rolled her eyes for the second time over the astute girl. Charlie was finally sorted into Gryffindor with her, and Kelley slumped in relief as her friend tripped over his own feet to get to the table. The wizarding world wasn’t so bad, after all.

  
***

  
Kelley forgot all about Alex after her first few weeks at Hogwarts. Her and Charlie became inseparable, sharing a gleeful sense of humor along with a disregard for rules. Charlie, Kelley quickly learned, loved Quidditch. Upon Kelley’s initial confusion, Charlie sat her down in the common room for three hours to explain all the nuances of the game. He wanted to be a seeker. Kelley could see the appeal: she had always loved sports back home, and she though wishfully of her old football league. But first years couldn’t be on the team – not that that stopped Charlie from showing up at the Gryffindor tryouts. Kelley watched from the stands, not wanting to miss her best friend likely embarrass himself in front of the older kids.

  
“No, Weasley! You’re too young!” Kelley held back laughter as Becky Sauerbraunn, a fourth year and star beater, chastised a determined looking Charlie.

  
“Come on, Bec! I’ll be the best seeker in a century!” Charlie mounted his school broom even as the older girl yelled at him to get off the pitch. He was fast, Kelley had to give him that, watching intently as he whipped through the air. Faster than everyone else on the pitch, actually.

  
“Weasley! Off!” This time, it was Madam Hootch’s voice yelling at Charlie. With a flick of her wand, she sent Charlie toppling into the stands a few feet from where Kelley was sitting, effectively sending her into an intense laughing fit. Charlie sat up, rubbed his head, and grumbled something about outdated rules when he saw Kelley doubled over.

  
Kelley gave him three days to sulk before dragging him out the Quidditch pitch to teach her to fly. Tobin was already there when they arrived.

***

  
The news of a first year on the Slytherin team spread like wildfire throughout the school. Phrases like “the best chaser in history,” and “absolutely unbelievable,” floated through the air of the Great Hall the next day when Kelley went to breakfast. Between that, Charlie’s angry sulk, and Alex’s walk that had somehow increased in confidence, Kelley figured out the news before Tobin could even mutter it to her.

  
Alex Morgan had made the Slytherin Quidditch team.

She was the youngest chaser. _Ever_.

Kelley pushed the thought out of her head and let herself forget about the girl that had rejected her clover on the train.

  
Yeah, Kelley didn’t think about Alex Morgan and her intriguing presence. Alex wasn’t in her daily life, and Kelley learned to tune out the constant rumors and gossip about the young Quidditch star. She hung out with Charlie and Tobin, along with a shy Ravenclaw girl named Christen Press that Tobin had taken a liking to. Christen wasn’t rowdy like Charlie or Kelley, but she laughed at their shenanigans and made Tobin’s laid-back smile impossibly brighter. They all went to the first Hufflepuff Ravenclaw match together, watching in awe as the players zipped around and shushing Charlie when he said he could do better than the Ravenclaw seeker. Yeah, Kelley was happy. And had no reason at all to think about Alex Morgan. Until about two weeks after Halloween.

  
Kelley was lost.

  
She wasn’t really sure how she ended up on the fourth floor, or in this corridor, or even that she was on the fourth floor, really. She walked past an unfamiliar painting, flipping off the scoffing knight that jeered at her, and accepted the fact she would be late to Transfiguration. She continued to wander rather aimlessly until she heard voices, automatically turning toward them to ask for directions.

  
“…shameful. How you can even stand to go home is beyond us.” Kelley heard a cutting voice, stopping before turning the corner to reveal herself. She wasn’t eavesdropping, she told herself. Just waiting to assess the situation. The next voice was all too familiar.

  
“My family matters are none of your business, Goyle. I’d appreciate it if you let me get to class.” Alex’s voice was sharp but shaky, the rasp immediately detectable. Kelley’s brow furrowed and she turned to corner, taking in Alex staring up at a older, much bigger boy with a sneer across his face.

  
“I don’t think that’s possible, Morgan.” Alex shrank away as the Slytherin boy took a step toward her, something threatening in his eyes. Something Kelley really didn’t like.

  
“Hey, numbnuts, maybe you should go to class. Unless you’re smarter than you look,” Kelley said, stepping in between Alex and the taller boy. The boy’s sneer got bigger as he took in the tiny freckled girl, fire in her green eyes.

  
“You’re out of your league, kid. Step out of the way and let us handle it.” Kelley’s hands balled into fists at the dismissal.

  
“I can handle myself. Leave her alone.” The boy rolled his eyes and took out his wand, ready to jinx Kelley out of the way. Kelley reached for hers and realized with a start that it wasn’t in her back pocket. With a shrug, she stepped forward, pulled her fist back, and struck the boy in the face.

  
The boy stumbled and howled, his hand shooting up to his nose. On instinct, he kicked out, hitting Kelley right in the gut. Kelley dropped to her knees at the blow. As she did, he swung his fist up, knocking Kelley in the jaw and backwards.

She scrambled to her feet and wiped and the blood from her lip, her fists shooting up into a defensive stance.

She ducked his next punch, but couldn’t avoid the second left hook. She went down with a gasp, trying desperately to remain conscious and to keep and eye on the lumbering figure approaching her to finish her off.

  
“Petrificus Totalus!” Alex’s voice cut through the corridor and Goyle snapped to a standstill, then promptly fell over. She stepped over him smartly, her wand still up, approaching Kelley with nervousness dancing in her blue eyes. Kelley tried to flash her a soothing grin, but winced when she felt the blood in her mouth.

  
“Couldn’t have done that earlier, Morgan?”

  
“You’re an absolute idiot, O’Hara. And you need to go to the hospital wing.” Kelley barely heard her as her vision started swimming. Alex reached out as if to touch Kelley’s throbbing head, but stopped before she could make contact. The last thing Kelley saw before blacking out was Alex’s eyes, still nervous, but along with something else – Kelley didn’t dare label it as respect.

  
***

  
The first thing Kelley saw when she woke up was a pair of blue eyes. And then freckles. And then red hair. Charlie was grinning down at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes, for once. Kelley groaned at the cutting headache that immediately presented itself.

  
“Where am I?”

  
“Hospital wing. You got beat up by a fourth year. I brought you chocolate frogs,” Charlie said, reaching out for one from his position at the foot of the cot and handing it to Kelley. She shook her head, feeling nauseous. He tossed it in her lap anyway. “Tobin just left to go to class. She brought you _Quidditch Through the Ages_. Said it might cheer you up.” Kelley groaned again, touching her right eye and wincing.

  
“Shouldn’t magic heal me faster than this?”

  
“Most wizards don’t get into fist fights, Kelley. It’s a different kind of healing when the wound is inflicted with anger.” This time it wasn’t Charlie speaking. Kelley rolled over to see Christen perched on the bed next to her, frowning slightly as if Kelley should’ve known better than to get herself an injury ‘inflicted with anger.’ Kelley grinned lopsidedly at her, the split in her lip keeping it from reaching its normal size.

  
“Nice to see you too, Press.”

  
“Eat your chocolate, goofy.” Christen smiled in spite of herself, and Kelley managed to pull herself into a sitting position and nibbled at the chocolate. She ran her hands over the soft sheets as the memories of her fight came back to her. The large fourth year, and _Alex_.

  
“Is Alex okay?” Christen and Charlie exchanged a look and Kelley scowled, unhappy to be left out of anything. It was silent for a pause before Charlie answered.

  
“Morgan is fine. You both have detention. Maybe you should stay out of Slytherin house fights from now on,” he said slowly. “For the sake of everyone.” Kelley nibbled a bit more at her chocolate.

  
“It wasn’t fair. He was twice her size.”

  
“That makes him three times your size, Kelley. And you’ve been knocked out for nearly a day. You have to be more careful,” Christen said, leaning toward Kelley with knit brows. Kelley avoided her friend’s gaze, opting instead to study her busted fist with interest. Christen sighed and leaned back, throwing a begging look at Charlie that she thought Kelley would miss before excusing herself to go to class. Charlie smiled softly at her before turning to Kelley.

  
“Really Kells, I get the bravo or whatever, but do you really have to get yourself beat up for a Morgan?”

  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kelley looked up from her knuckles to glare at her best friend. He shrunk a little under her gaze and slid off of her cot. 

“Nothing, Kells. Forget I said anything. That eye looks rad, you’re gonna get some mad street cred.” Charlie’s stab at a joke fell short and they both knew it, and he smiled half heartedly before muttering a “sleep well” and leaving Kelley to her own devices. (Kelley decided to go back to sleep).

The next pair of blue eyes Kelley woke up to were certainly not Charlie’s. And they certainly weren’t paired with a familiar grin, either. Alex Morgan stood over her, hands placed on the bedrail. With anyone else, Kelley would think they were just being awkward or didn’t know where to sit – but Alex maintained her normal composure, her eyes guarded as ever. Kelley slowly blinked awake and regarded the figure next to her bed.

  
“O’Hara.” Alex nodded at her, and Kelley rolled her eyes at the typical impersonal greeting.

  
“Sup, Morgan? Miss me while I was unconscious?” Now it was Alex’s turn to roll her eyes, but she sat down on the edge of the cot nonetheless. She studied Kelley’s busted face carefully, the only sign of anything other than easy confidence being her hands tapping at her thighs. After a few beats, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand. No – upon further inspection, Kelley realized it was _her_ wand. Alex placed it carefully onto the bedside table. Kelley narrowed her eyes.

  
“Morgan, why in the name of Merlin do you have my wand?”

  
“I took it from your back pocket in the corridor, when you stepped in front of me. I didn’t want you to get in trouble for dueling.”

  
“And how well did that work out?”

  
“Well, I didn’t expect you to be thick enough to punch someone three times your size.”

  
“He wasn’t three times my size! Twice at the most!” Kelley protested heavily, causing her head to flare up and her hand to shoot up to soothe the pain. Alex took in the motion and the appearance of Kelley’s busted hand with a blink, a flash of something unreadable in her eyes. “Why was he trying to fight you, anyway?”

“It’s really none of your business, O’Hara. Don’t make me have to save you again.”

“I was trying to stand up for you! And you wouldn’t have had to save me if you hadn’t stolen my wand!”

“But I did save you.” Kelley glared at Alex, who smirked ever so slightly. Alex stood up and turned on her heel to leave, and Kelley realized she didn’t want her to go just yet.

“Wait. If you have fourth years trying hex you, maybe you need this after all.” Kelley rolled over to dig through her bedside table as Alex spun slowly to face Kelley, her grimace showing that she already knew what was coming. Kelley grinned in delight as she found the four-leaf clover she always kept on her, shoving out her hand to present it to Alex. Alex stared down at it, then back at Kelley’s black eye, the back to the clover. She reached out and Kelley’s mood soared – until Alex’s fingers curled around Kelley’s, closing her fist without taking the contents of it.

“Sorry O’Hara. But from the looks of you, you still need it more. I’ll see you in detention.” With that, Alex actually did leave, and Kelley stared down at her clover, pondering the enigma that was Alex Morgan.

***

Kelley returned to her classes the next day with a strict order to take it easy and to avoid loud noises until the Christmas break, which she blatantly ignored. In Charms, she grinned and knocked her uninjured fist against her head to prove she was fine, earning a giggle from Charlie and a reprimanding look from Christen. And the Gryffindor Slytherin Quidditch match they went to after was the furthest thing from quiet. Kelley ignored her throbbing headache as her eyes traced the sky, white with snow, for Alex. It wasn’t hard to find her.

  
Alex flew like a maelstrom. She as all raw power and laser focus, eyes always on the quaffle and where she wanted it to go. Slytherin’s other two star chasers, Abby Wambach and Megan Rapinoe, had no problem throwing the rookie the quaffle – in traffic, in the presence of a bludger, while Alex was upside down. Alex always caught it. And when Alex caught it, she nearly always scored.

  
Slytherin was up by 150 in the first twenty minutes of that match.

  
Gryffindor’s defense did what they could against the opposing offense. Becky was everywhere, sending perfectly placed bludgers at the stellar chaser trio, but every time she connected with one chaser the other two picked up the slack easily. Becky’s partner did little to help her, and the Gryffindor keeper was mediocre at best – no match for Alex’s sniper shots on goal. The Gryffindor seeker caught the snitch in the fortieth minute. And Gryffindor lost by 60. Alex flew off the pitch with no emotion, and Kelley wouldn’t have been able to tell if she just won or lost the match.

  
Kelley went home for Christmas. She picked more four-leaf clovers with her mom. She kicked the football with her brother. Her dad got her an owl (he had heard that’s what wizards generally had) that she fondly named Blue. She didn’t think about Alex.

  
She didn’t think about Alex on the train ride back to Hogwarts, Christen easily taking her spot to make the compartment a full four friends. She jumped on Charlie and made fun of his new knit sweater, hugged Christen and ruffled Tobin’s hair and listened to her surfing stories. She showed off her new scar above her right eye. Her smile came easily and her laughter rang out in the scarlet train. She was happy to be back.

  
She didn’t think about Alex until Professor Snape harshly reminded her of the detention she had to serve now that she was physically healed. So on Thursday at 4 o' clock sharp, she dragged her feet down to the dungeons to scrub out the cauldrons that the fifth years had practiced for their OWLs with. They smelled foul and Kelley’s hair was curling out of her ponytail before Alex waltzed in thirty minutes late.

  
“Quidditch practice,” she said with a smirk at Kelley’s withering glare. But she grabbed a sponge and stood side by side with Kelley, their elbows knocking, the silence not exactly friendly, but still easy. Kelley thought that maybe, just perhaps, Alex was learning to tolerate her.

  
***

The second semester flew by for Kelley. She found Charms to be fun and Transfiguration impossible, huffing in frustration whenever she caught Alex doing the given spell perfectly from the corner of her eye. Her, Tobin, Charlie and Christen took to flying on the weekends, Charlie out flying them all – but they were making progress, especially Tobin. She flew with a personality, picking up impossible tricks in the blink of an eye and smiling lazily every time she juked Kelley off her broom (which happened more and more with each practice. Kelley came up each time with her head thrown back in laughter, high fiving her friend with enthusiasm).

  
And every Thursday, Kelley walked down to the dungeons, grumbling to her friends about Alex only having to do half the work she did because of _Quidditch_ – but never mentioning it to Alex. The hour was always quiet, Alex and Kelley never exchanging chatter. Kelley knew better than to try. But it wasn’t hostile, and Kelley even found herself looking forward to the quiet, composed company that was Alex Morgan (even if she had to deal with Professor Snape sneering at her every so often).

  
About a month into the detentions, Kelley showed up to the potions classroom to find someone already there. That someone was third year Hope Solo – as in notoriously talented Slytherin keeper Hope Solo. The girl was speaking with Professor Snape, both of them hunched over an essay, and Kelley didn’t dare interrupt. She took a sponge and got to work, neither of the other two noticing her. It wasn’t until Professor Snape walked out with Hope’s essay, presumably to grade it in his office, that the Slytherin saw Kelley. She raised her eyebrows and started to approach her. Kelley gulped.

  
“It’s O’Hara, right? I’ve seen you flying with Weasley,” Hope said evenly, her eyes boring into Kelley’s. Kelley nodded, looking down at her hands which were covered in the grease and leftover potion. She decided not to go in for a handshake.

  
“Y-yeah. You’re a really good keeper,” Kelley stuttered out, cringing at her own awkwardness. Hope didn’t smile.

  
“I don’t know the name O’Hara. Are your parents from the UK?”

  
“Ireland. They’re muggles,” Kelley said brightly, not noticing Hope’s immediate change in demeanor – her shoulders raising to make her tower even further over Kelley. “I want to try out for the Quidditch team eventually. Any pointers?”

  
“Do us a favor and just don’t. Everyone knows mudbloods can’t fly.” Kelley flinched back at the cruel tone. She hadn’t heard the term ‘mudblood’ before, but she could figure it out pretty easily. She opened her mouth, then closed it. Was Hope right? Kelley had no way of knowing, and her insecurities built up in her chest and threatened her at the base of her throat. Hope smirked at her, knowing she had won.

  
“We both know that’s not true,” A quiet voice said from behind her. Alex had just walked in, hair still messy from Quidditch, her blue eyes serious. Hope looked as evenly at Alex as she had at Kelley – cool and calculating. Kelley, for once, felt out of her depth as the girls stared each other down.

  
“I hope practice went well without me,” Hope finally said, not dropping her eyes from Alex’s. “Ravenclaw won’t fold as easily as Gryffindor.”

  
“Sure won’t,” Alex responded, arms crossed and voice loaded with something Kelley couldn’t understand. “We’ll work hard at tomorrow’s practice.”

  
“We’d better.”

  
With that, Hope left the dungeon, the door slamming shut behind her. Alex looked over at Kelley, whose hands were still covered in grime, hair falling into her eyes. She sighed and shook her head, taking Kelley’s cauldron and finishing cleaning it out while Kelley stared at her feet, trying to figure out what to say. She settled on nothing, letting her and Alex fall back into the familiar rhythm of scrubbing in unison.

  
Five minutes before their time was up, Alex spoke up.

  
“O’Hara?”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“She was wrong. And if someone calls you that name again, you should punch them. Even if they’re three times your size.” Alex didn’t smile with the words, just kept focused on the task in front of her. Kelley stared, before throwing her head back and laughing easily, earning a small smile from the girl next to her.

  
***

  
Detention ends. Kelley doesn’t see Alex anymore.  
But she never misses a Slytherin Quidditch game.

  
***

The year came to a close before Kelley was ready. The train ride back was tinged with the anticipation of a whole summer without her friends, without magic. She clung to Tobin the entire way back, despite the girl’s protests, pinching her cheeks and laughing with Charlie about the way Blue liked to chew on Christen’s hair. She smacked a kiss to each of her three friends’ cheeks before she leaves them, refusing to show the sadness that’s making her chest heavy and throat tight. Instead, she grinned and waved, running to her parents before anyone can see the slight tears that had welled up in her eyes.

  
She doesn’t think about Alex Morgan that summer. She thinks of Quidditch, and football, and her closer friends that she misses. She counts down the days until she can go back, but the blue eyes of the Slytherin girl don’t haunt her.

  
Not yet.


	2. year two

It had been way too long of a summer, in Kelley’s opinion.

The letters her owl, Blue, had brought her from her three best friends helped, sure, but Kelley had still felt the dull ache of longing in her chest whenever she had thought of Charlie’s laugh or Tobin’s grin or Christen’s smile. So, when the day _finally_ came to go back to Hogwarts, she rushed through her goodbyes, giving quick hugs and hurrying off to track down her friends as quickly as possible.

Kelley made a beeline for the back of the train, hoping their designated compartment would already be full of familiar laughter and chatter. But something caught her eye that stopped her in her tracks.

Alex Morgan. Kelley had nearly forgotten about stoic Slytherin over the summer. She was perched on the edge of her seat, a book in her lap, her position sending Kelley’s thoughts back to a year ago when they had first met (a blush creeping into her face when she remembered their first encounter). But this time, Alex wasn’t alone. Three other faces looked toward Kelley staring into their compartment – Kelley noticed they all wore Ravenclaw robes, and also all had books balanced in their laps.

Kelley hadn’t ever really thought of Alex having actual friends, assuming her guarded and haughty attitude she showed toward Kelley applied to _everyone._ But she gaped as Alex shot the girl across from her a friendly smile as she stood up to open the compartment door, where Kelley was still standing, staring.

“Can I help you, O’Hara?” Alex asked with her arms crossed.

Kelley’s mind blanked furiously when she realized she now had to look _up_ at Alex. They were only 12, but Alex had shot up over the summer, towering over Kelley and likely even Charlie. Before she could think about what she was saying, words were tumbling out of her mouth.

“You have friends?” Kelley cringed immediately at the somewhat cruel question, and Alex’s eyes flashed at the smaller girl. Kelley scrambled to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Not everyone is as idiotic as you, O’Hara, and so I quite enjoy their company,” Alex spat out. Kelley had to focus on not flinching, unaccustomed to the sharp tone that Alex’s words took on. She had thought, perhaps, that her and Alex had started to build at least a mutual respect for each other during their hours of detention spent together last year. But the sneer on Alex’s face told her she had been mistaken.

“Right, sorry to interrupt. Enjoy your books,” Kelley said, noticing the other students in the compartment looked considerably more friendly than Alex. She grinned at them, then grinned at Alex, which seemed to make her even more annoyed. With a chuckle and a wave, she bounced away, Blue making a racket as she skipped down the train’s passage to reunite with her friends.

Charlie and Tobin were already situated when Kelley yanked on the door, Charlie in the middle of an animated story (likely about his summer Quidditch practices) as Tobin lounged and listened with an easy smile across her face. A smile that grew to full size when the compartment door slammed open to reveal Kelley. Tobin squealed as Charlie gave a shout of “Kells!”, and they both pulled her into a chaotic group hug. Kelley beamed and the fullness of her chest told her she was home.

The familiar flow of conversation between the three was interrupted when Christen arrived, getting the same enthusiastic greeting that Kelley had. Her hair was wild and her smile bright as she sat next to Tobin, and Kelley realized they sat a lot closer than she and Charlie did, their knees knocking every so often. She didn’t really know what to do with her observation, so she forgot about it fairly quickly.

As Christen told them of her summer spent on her mom’s family farm in the countryside (Christen’s mom was a muggle), Kelley’s thoughts wandered to her encounter with Alex. How had the Slytherin managed to become even more unapproachable?

“Kelley?” Charlie poked at her side, noticing she wasn’t tuned in to the present conversation. “Whatcha thinkin’ bout?”

“I saw Morgan sitting with a bunch of Ravenclaws. I wonder why she doesn’t sit with people in her house?” Charlie made a face at the mention of Alex, still harboring bad feelings over the beating Kelley had gotten last year while standing up to Goyle for Alex's sake. And over her position on her house’s Quidditch team. Christen tilted her head in thought.

“Yeah, I saw her sitting with my friend Rose. Rose is great, so if her and Alex are friends, Alex is probably really nice.”

Charlie scoffed.

“Yeah, and completely full of herself. Maybe that’s why the other Slytherins won’t talk to her.” Kelley frowned at Charlie’s comment, thinking he was jumping to conclusions too quickly. And Alex wasn’t full of herself, just confident and a little prickly. Kelley was about to say it, but Tobin beat her to the chase.

“Dude, I’m not in your house and neither is Christen, and you still hang out with us. Don’t let your Quidditch envy or family rumors blur your judgement,” she said in a non-controversial way – something only Tobin could pull off. Charlie sulked a little at the reprimand, muttering something under his breath that Kelley didn’t catch. Probably something about ‘family rumors’ – but before Kellley could ask, Charlie hastily changed the subject.

“So, will I see you at Quidditch tryouts? Tobin says she’s trying out for Hufflepuff.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t practice over the summer like you guys did. I’m probably not good enough.”

“Come on Kells, it’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, I can juke you off your broom some more during an actual game,” Tobin threw in, and with that, they were all back to their usual banter, and Kelley wasn’t going to interrupt the easy laughter to ask more about Alex Morgan and her many mysteries. She ignored the nagging curiosity in the back of her head, for now.

***

The first years looked about as terrified about the sorting as Kelley remembered feeling.

She sat with Charlie and a boy in their year named Dansby, her and Charlie engaged in a friendly competition on who could come up with the most obnoxious cheer when one of the kids was sorted into their house. It escalated quickly, as things did with Charlie and Kelley – when Kelley stood up on the table and roared after ‘Sonnett’ became a Gryffindor, Professor McGonagall shot them a stern look while Tobin cracked up from her spot with the Hufflepuffs. Kelley grinned sheepishly and sat down, knowing their shenanigans had to end for that evening unless she wanted another month of detention.

Kelley had gone back to arguing with Dansby about the best muggle sport (football, obviously, but he seemed to think baseball ( _baseball!)_ was better) when a small first year wiggled her way into the group of second years to sit next to Kelley, pushing Charlie unceremoniously out of the way.

“Hi, I’m Emily Sonnett, but everyone just calls me Sonnett. Nice to meet you,” the girl said, thrusting her hand out toward Kelley. “I liked your lion roar. Let’s be friends.”

Kelley looked at Charlie’s shocked and slightly offended face over the girl’s shoulder and laughed loudly from her gut. She took the girls hand and shook it vigorously.

“Hi Sonnett, I’m Kelley. Let’s definitely be friends.”

Sonnett had a knack for making Kelley laugh, from her ridiculous dance moves she readily showed off to her overexaggerated reactions during yet another Charlie Quidditch story (when Charlie acted out a stellar dive where he narrowly missed to ground, Sonnett put her hand over her heart and gasped loudly– making Charlie beam with pride, which turned promptly into a scowl when he saw Kelley barely containing her guffaw). By the time the feast was over, Kelley’s stomach ached and her head felt light from quaking with laughter. It wasn't until the closing speech that Kelley looked over at the Slytherin table, spotting Alex with her head high and tea cup held in the snobbiest way possible. Kelley rolled her eyes. Sonnett followed her line of vision curiously.

“Who’s that? Why does she look like someone shoved a pole up her butt?” Kelley grinned and shook her head.

“That’s Alex Morgan. She’s a star Quidditch player, has perfect grades, always composed – I don’t think anything has ever phased her.” Sonnett studied the girl in question carefully.

“Guess that’s our job, then.” Kelley looked at Sonnett, slightly confused.

“What’s our job?”

“To phase her.” Kelley went back to observing Alex at that, imagining her composure breaking, and a slow grin spread across her face.

“You know what Sonny? I suppose it is.”

***

Charlie made the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

Kelley rolled her eyes as her friend swaggered into the common room, hair still sticking up at all angles from the windy pitch, broom thrown too casually over his shoulder. She still grinned and congratulated him, sincerely happy about his success, and he threw a wink and a bow her way, making her giggle. A warm feeling of pride settled nicely in her stomach as he walked past her to go tell the boys upstairs his exciting news.

That doesn’t stop her from rolling with laughter when Sonnett walked silently behind him, swinging her hips and flipping her hair with a flourish to mock his new strut.

***

Tobin didn’t make the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

Kelley heard it from Christen, who looked worried. Kelley’s heart sunk, and she went to the Quidditch pitch where she knew she’d find their friend, grabbing Charlie’s broom from where he had left it strewn across a couch in the common room.

Tobin was hovering when she got there, practicing her handles with a worn out quaffle. Kelley kicked off to join her.

“Doing alright, Heath?” Tobin stared straight ahead as she rolled the quaffle around her shoulders.

“O’Reilly told me my on the ball skills are outstanding, but my pitch awareness and consistency are lacking,” she said after a few pauses. “She said to come back next year and try again.”

“That sucks, dude.”

“I know.”

The girls hovered in a comfortable silence, both thinking about Tobin’s predicament. Kelley had an idea.

“Hey Tobs, let’s play some one on one. Loser has to buy a fizzing whizbee.” Tobin’s face lit up at that, her competitive streak shining through. She tossed Kelley the quaffle.

“You can start with the ball, because we both know I’m gonna kick your ass.” Kelley laughed.

“You wish, Toby. I’ve been working on my defense.” And Kelley had been, sort of, and she’d been thinking about trying out for the team next year, so she figured any extra practice for the Hufflepuff could also help her out. The girls competed for the better part of the next hour, throwing elbows and trading insults, until Charlie stormed out to demand his broom back. Kelley and Tobin touched down and fell on their backs, laughing and gasping for breath, Tobin’s mood considerably improved from earlier. She looked over at a still-grinning Kelley.

“You owe me a fizzing whizbee.”

“Guess I do.”

“Let’s do this again tomorrow.”

“Let’s do it every day til next tryouts.”

“Deal.”

***

Potions, Kelley had decided, was nearly as bad as Transfiguration.

In Transfiguration, she could at least suffer alone, and cover her insecurities with bad jokes and lopsided grins at Professor McGonagall (who Kelley was sure liked her despite the reprimands and ‘Ms. O’Hara, focus!’s often thrown her way). But on the first day of potions, Snape drawled out instructions that made Kelley’s throat tighten in frustration.

“This year, we will be working in partners. I have picked the partners for you. There are no pairings from the same house,” Snape said, flicking his wand so that the chalk started scratching out the pairings. The class groaned as a whole - the mix of Slytherins and Gryffindors never wanting to work together - which Snape deliberately ignored. Kelley bounced from foot to foot and waited anxiously for her name to appear.

_Crabbe, Weasley._ Charlie sighed and looked over at Crabbe, who was still squinting at the board, likely not able to make sense of the intricate cursive. Charlie grabbed him by his sleeve and dragged him over to an open table, neither boy looking thrilled at their predicament.

_Brewer, Swanson._

_Brian, Davidson._

_O’Hara, Morgan._

Kelley’s face split into a grin, her old busted lip tingling as she made eye contact with Alex across the room. Alex raised an eyebrow, frowning slightly and crinkling her nose. Kelley bounded over to her, consciously upping her regular enthusiasm just to try and dig under Alex’s skin.

“Alright, Ali, are you ready for the partnership of the century?” Kelly asked brightly, sticking her hand out as she had so often done in her old football league. “Let’s say team on three, okay? Ready? One, two, thr- ”

“Don’t ever call me that again, O’Hara,” Alex snapped, crossing her arms. “It’s Morgan. Just Morgan.”

“Alright, _Just Morgan_ , we better get to work if we’re going to get first place!”

“Are you always this _annoying_?” Kelley’s grin just got bigger at Alex’s words, enjoying the way she could elicit a reaction from the taller girl, and she turned toward their shared cauldron with boisterous energy.

“Let’s do this!”

Kelley’s energy didn’t last long.

Alex was bossy, and a control freak, and always, infuriatingly _right_. She already knew exactly how to brew the potion they were supposed to be learning, and Kelley’s usual ‘learn from mistakes’ approach to Potions did not fly with the Slytherin _at all_.

“It looks too light. Try putting an extra frog leg in.”

“The book says three!”

“We don’t even have the book!”

“I memorized the instructions before class!” Both girls ran their hands through their hair in exasperation at the same time, and the synchronized just made both of them more frustrated.

“Just try the frog leg.”

“No. I’m gonna stir it four times clockwise.”

“That won’t do anything!”

Alex huffed and pushed Kelley out of the way, stirring the potion as she said she would. Kelley watched with disbelief as the potion turned the exact shade of green Snape was looking for.

“Very good, Morgan. Ten points to Slytherin,” Snape said as he whisked past the pair. Alex smiled smugly as Kelley sulked angrily.

“I bet the frog leg would’ve worked too.”

“Do you always just follow your instinct?”

“It works! Do you have to plan out every step of your life to make sure it’s right?” Kelley could tell she struck a nerve as Alex’s gaze turned from triumphant to piercingly angry. She gathered up her books violently, pushing past Kelley to head toward the door.

“Wait, Morgan, I- ” Alex spun around to face Kelley, face red with anger.

“You what, O’Hara? Some of us have to work to be exceptional. Not that you would know.”

“You think I’m exceptional?”

“No. I think you don’t work. And that you don’t have a single clue about my life.” With that, Alex stormed out, leaving Kelley fuming as Charlie and Crabbe’s cauldron exploded loudly behind her.

***

“She’s just so high-strung, dude! It’s like she can’t relax because she’s scared her entire life will collapse or something,” Kelley complained as she lounged on her bed. Sonnett was sat at the foot of it, doodling pictures of the Nimbus 1700 in the margins of her Transfiguration essay. Kelley rolled over on to her stomach to glare at her friend. “Sonny! Are you listening?”

“Yeah yeah, Morgan’s a crackhead, what else is new?” Sonnett said easily. “You’ve told me that like a hundred times.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s true. Why don’t we play a prank on her?” Kelley’s eyes lit up with a newfound interest at that.

“What kind of prank?”

Sonnet shrugged. “I dunno. Her first Quidditch game is Monday. Wanna do something then?”

“I have the perfect idea.”

***

Ravenclaw versus Slytherin was the first Quidditch game of the year, and hyped up to be dirty. The two Ravenclaw beaters were out for blood after their humiliating loss from the last year, and the chasers on the Slytherin team were as lethal as ever. Charlie, Christen, Tobin and Dansby sat in the Ravenclaw section with Christen’s friend Mallory Pugh. Kelley and Sonnett were nowhere to be seen. Charlie scanned the stands for his best friend.

“Kelley said she’d meet us out here. Where is she? The Slytherin team’ll be coming out of the lockers any minute,” Charlie said to Tobin. Tobin just shrugged, unbothered, focused on studying her parchment copy of the Ravenclaw offense Christen had snagged for her.

Kelley was, in fact, with Sonnett, just outside of the Slytherin tent. She was hiding behind a flap, wand at the ready – Sonnett was crouched behind her, struggling to contain her giggles.

“Remember the spell?” Sonnett whispered.

“Of course I remember the spell Son, we practiced it for ages,” Kelley whispered back. She concentrated on evening her breathing and glared at Sonnett as the girl snorted in her attempts to be quiet. “Compose yourself!”

Just as Sonnett managed to fall silent, the Slytherin team marched out of the tent. They were all staring straight ahead, jaws set and eyes focused, just as Kelley had been counting on. She waited patiently until she saw ‘Morgan’ and ‘13’ written in green across the back of the chaser’s jersey. She didn’t hesitate, whispering out the incantation and pointing her wand at Alex’s broom clutched tightly in her right hand. The broom turned green for half a second before anyone on the Slytherin team could notice.

The Slytherin team marched onto the field, and Kelley grinned as Sonnett guffawed and jumped on her shoulders.

***

Kelley and Sonnett both held their breath as they waited for Alex to score.

Charlie kept his eyes on the Slytherin seeker, jotting down notes for his game at the end of the semester. Christen and Mallory cheered loudly whenever Ravenclaw had possession, which wasn’t so often – the Slytherin chaser tag team was brilliant at keep away. Hope Solo hovered peacefully, unneeded, in front of the far goalposts, watching contentedly as her chasers worked their magic.

Alex had assisted Rapinoe and Wambach twice each, but had yet to score her own goal. Kelley knew it was just a matter of time though – and sure enough, Alex caught a lobbed pass from Wambach, rolled a Ravenclaw defender, squared her shoulders, and sent the quaffle soaring through the right goalpost.

Three things happened instantaneously:

  1. The game announcer roared out, “Morgan with a goal for Slytherin!”
  2. The end of Alex’s broom shot out a trail of green shamrocks: which, on closer inspection, could be identified as four-leaf clovers.
  3. Alex noticed immediately and her eyes shot over the crowd, found Kelley, and fired up in anger when she saw Kelley’s grinning lopsidedly right back.



***

Alex scored another four times during the game.

After each goal, clovers followed her around the pitch.

The Slytherins started chanting ‘Lucky 13! Lucky 13!’ – apparently missing the murder in Alex’s eyes.

Christen looked at Kelley and Sonnett suspiciously when they high fived gleefully.

Slytherin won the match when their seeker caught the snitch, and Alex flew off the pitch with her shoulders not quite as rigid as they normally were. Which, in Kelley’s book, was the first step in her mission to crack Alex Morgan.

Kelley waited for Alex to come out of the lockers, knowing she would have a few choice words for Kelley. She hovered by the announcer’s desk, laughing as Sonnett dramatically narrated Charlie doing cartwheels into the microphone before Madam Hooch shooed them off. When she was turning back to look for Alex, she found her inches from her face – so close she could see the crease in her nose and the dark anger in her eyes.

“Really mature O’Hara,” Alex growled, shoving her broom toward Kelley. Kelley grinned.

“How’d you know it was me?” Kelley feigned shock, furrowing her brow as if she were confused about being caught. As if four-leaf clovers weren’t a dead giveaway. Alex stood up even straighter, towering over Kelley, but Kelley refused to back down.

“I swear O’Hara, if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll- ”

“Morgan! O’Hara! What’s going on here?” Alex’s threat was cut off by a slightly breathless Madam Hooch, returning from chasing Sonnett and Charlie off the pitch. She narrowed her eyes at the pair, taking in Alex’s broom held out toward Kelley, Kelley’s self-satisfied smirk. She put two and two together fairly easily.

“O’Hara, did you tamper with Morgan’s broom? That’s highly illegal. Do you know how much trouble that’ll land you in?” Madam Hooch screeched, storming toward Kelley, whose smirk faded in favor of a scared gulp as the woman approached, grabbing her by the collar and shaking. “Well? Did you?”

“I, I- ”

“Madam Hooch, it was me. I thought the shamrocks would be a good celebration.” Alex stepped confidently in front of Kelley, her eyes clear and calm – a sharp contrast to their previous anger. Madam Hooch looked at her in surprise.

“You did?’

“Yes ma’am.”

“Hmph. Well, it’s not illegal to tamper with your _own_ broom, I suppose.” Madam Hooch glared at the two girls suspiciously once more before turning away. She threw one more look over her shoulder.

“Not very humble though. Keep a good head on your shoulders, Morgan. I’ll be watching you.”

The professor stalked away. Alex huffed, threw her broom over her shoulder, and turned to storm the other way. Kelley chased after her, having to jog lightly to keep up with the taller girl’s strides.

“What’d you do that for?”

Alex glanced down at Kelley, hardly moving her eyes. “I wasn’t going to let your immature pranks land you in court, O’Hara. Do you _ever_ think?” Kelley set her jaw, fury building at the fact that Alex had saved her – remembering a conversation in the hospital wing from last year with a considerably less prickly Alex, the first time she had saved Kelley.

“I _thought_ that a harmless prank might help you loosen up! What is your problem, anyway?” Alex stopped abruptly, making Kelley almost trip over her own feet to also come to a halt.

“I don’t need to loosen up, O’Hara. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m doing just fine. I’m simply passionate about success. I’ve got my passion, I’m proud of it, so just let it go, okay?” Kelley swallowed back a haughty reply, sharply aware of how she was currently indebted to Alex. Alex’s eyes lingered on her face, and once she was sure Kelley wasn’t going to respond, she walked away.

Kelley wondered how someone could be satisfied with only passion and pride.

***

Kelley ultimately decided that someone _couldn’t_ be satisfied with the way Alex lived her life.

So the next week, Kelley blew a note to Alex during Transfiguration.

Alex glared at her as she opened it. She glared harder when a four-leaf clover fell out and attached itself to her hand, knowing that Charms was the one subject where Kelley edged her out, and that the clover would be stuck there for at least a couple of days.

The next week, Alex’s hair was green.

The week after that, her shoes left little green clover tracks wherever she stepped.

Every time a new prank appeared, Alex would leave her group of Ravenclaws to find Kelley in the Great Hall and demand an explanation. But Kelley swore that with each week, Alex’s eyes softened a bit at Kelley’s steady grin and shrug, the fire that used to live there slowly dying and giving way to an appreciation of whatever game they were playing.

***

Kelley and Tobin flew together at least three times a week while Charlie was at practice.

Sometimes Sonnett or Christen would join them, but more often than not, it was just the two of them.

On one particular day in late November, the snow falling around them, Tobin landed a brilliant move on Kelley, faking her off her broom for the first time since last year. As Kelley laid in the snow laughing, Tobin tumbled off her broom and landed next to her, still clutching the quaffle.

“Mal says Dansby is the cutest boy in our grade.” Kelley looked over at her friend after Tobin muttered out the words, seeing a thoughtful look on the Hufflepuff’s face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Says his eyes are nice.” Kelley furrowed her brows, trying to remember what Dansby’s eyes looked like. “What do you think?”

“What do I think about what?”

“About Dansby’s eyes.”

“Aren’t they just brown?” Kelley asked, a bit confused. What was so special about brown eyes? Tobin threw the quaffle at Kelley, and it bounced off her forehead.

“I have brown eyes!”

“And they’re absolutely lovely,” Kelley said innocently, rolling over and resting her head on her hand to keep eye contact with Tobin. “What do you think?”

“About Dansby’s eyes?”

“About the boys in our grade.” Tobin chewed on her lip at that, considering. She sighed and reached out for the quaffle where it had landed just above her head.

“I don’t really think about boys,” she admitted, tossing the quaffle absentmindedly. Kelley grinned.

“That’s because you only think about Quidditch, you dumb jock.”

“Like you’re any better! Who do you think is the best?”

“Best boy in our grade?”

“Yeah.” Kelley thought about it for a moment before replying.

“Probably Charlie. He’s funny and good at Quidditch.” Tobin wrinkled her nose.

“Are you gonna date him?”

“Ew, no! Just if I _had_ to pick one, I suppose I’d pick Charlie.”

“Good thing we don’t have to pick anyone yet.”

“Yeah, good thing.”

Kelly and Tobin laid in silence, lost in thoughts about things that weren’t quite comprehensible to their 12 and 13-year-old minds. Tobin broke the silence by throwing the quaffle high in the air, sending both the girls chasing after it. They ran drills for another hour, comfortable in something unfamiliar shared between them.

***

Charlie caught his first snitch the day before Christmas break.

It was the big Slytherin Gryffindor match, and Charlie was sat in the common room the morning of, staring at the fire when Kelley wandered down from her dorm. She sat next to him and watched as he wrung his hands nervously.

“I have catch the snitch before their chasers can get up by 150. So I’ve gotta catch it within twenty minutes, give or take.” Kelley looked up at the redhead’s face, his signature confidence missing from his clear eyes. She reached over and took his hands to stop his nervous twitching.

“Yeah, yeah you do. But if anyone can, it’s you.” Charlie stared at her and swallowed nervously. He slowly nodded.

“I can do this.”

“You sure can, champ.”

That’s when Sonnett chose to walk in – with Charlie’s hands in Kelley’s, Kelley looking intently into Charlie’s eyes, trying to give him his confidence back. She whistled loudly, and Kelley dropped Charlie’s hands impossibly quickly, missing the way his face fell at the lack of contact.

Charlie caught the snitch after five minutes. The Slytherins had only scored 30.

He flew over to Kelley and jumped off his broom, pulling her into a bear hug with the snitch still clutched in his fist.

Sonnett whistled again, starting to chant “Kelley and Charlie sitting in a tree, K I S S – ” She stopped after Kelley smacked her with her arm not constricted by Charlie’s hug.

Tobin stared at both of them and raised an eyebrow. Kelley rolled her eyes and shoved Charlie away from her.

She was only 13. She didn’t like boys. She liked Quidditch, and charms – and pranking Alex Morgan, she added as she watched the Slytherin chaser glance up at her before retreating to the lockers in defeat.

***

Kelley spent Christmas break at Hogwarts that year.

She explained to her parents that she was behind on her studies, which was, admittedly, a small lie. She was only behind in Transfiguration – even her Potions scores were high, thanks to her partner who couldn’t seem to fathom anything other than perfection. Christen also stayed at Hogwarts, telling Kelley that her parents were really busy with moving that year. Kelley knew that the Ravenclaw didn’t want her to be alone on Christmas.

Kelley wouldn’t have minded, really – but she had mainly stayed at the castle to get in more Quidditch practice that she couldn’t get over the summer, and having a flying partner was definitely preferable than imaginary defenders. And Christen was better than Kelley had realized, flying with focus and precision and ridiculous tactical skills. She was pretty much the opposite of Tobin, and though Kelley missed her Quidditch partner, she found Christen’s play to be a nice change of pace. It sharpened Kelley's defense.

One day, when Kelley and Christen were headed toward the pitch, they saw Alex and Hope already there. Alex was shooting on the older girl off of a complicated dodge that immediately impressed Kelley. Christen studied them in confusion.

“I wonder why Alex didn’t go home?”

“Huh?”

“Alex. I know the Morgan family is wildly wealthy. I wonder why she didn’t go home.” Kelley gaped at Christen.

“How do you know about her family?”

“Well, I don’t know much because my dad’s the only magical one in the family, but he mentioned that the Morgans are pretty powerful.” She noticed Kelley’s inquisitive look. “If you’re curious, ask Charlie or Tobin when they get back. They’ll know more than I do.” Kelley nodded carefully, feeling the need to hide her burning curiosity about the dark haired witch. She wasn’t sure why. Alex whooped after getting a quaffle past Hope, her arms in the air, and Kelley’s curiosity burned hotter.

On Christmas, Kelley sent Blue to Alex’s dorm with a four-leaf clover.

Blue returned with it still clutched in his talons the same day.

***

Professor Snape didn’t feel the need to switch up partners after the break.

Kelley set her jaw in determination, approaching Alex with a grin placed strategically on her face. When Alex saw her, she rolled her eyes, but it wasn’t malicious. She shoved the cauldron over to Kelley and signaled for her to start the assignment. Kelley pretended to gasp.

“Have I finally earned the Great Morgan’s trust in potion making?” Kelley said incredulously, reaching for the cauldron. Alex rolled her eyes again.

“Don’t let Horan hear you say that. She claimed that nickname after the Hufflepuff Ravenclaw match.” Kelley snorted at the image of Alex’s blond-haired friend rolling bludger after bludger as the only skilled Ravenclaw chaser. It was actually Sonnett who had yelled out, “The Great Horan strikes again!” – and the nickname had stuck.

“Fair enough. Hand me the black powder, will you?” Alex reached over as if to give Kelley a handful of powder – but at the last second, dumped it on Kelley’s head instead. Kelley spluttered indignantly, shaking her head to get rid of the offending substance while Alex watched with a ghost of a smile on her face.

“O’Hara! Do not play with the ingredients! Twenty points from Gryffindor!” Snape bellowed out, smacking Kelley in the back of the head as he pranced by. Kelley tried to glare at Alex, but her laughter bubbled over and ruined it.

“Alex! Did you just play a _prank_?”

“It’s Morgan, O’Hara. And what’s it to you? You’ve been playing them on me since September.” Kelley laughed louder. The powder was still dotted across her face by the end of class, compounding her freckles and making her eyes greener.

Alex didn’t reprimand her once while they made the potion. The way they worked quietly together reminded Kelley of last year’s dungeon detentions.

The pair finished their potion quickly. As they packed up their things, Kelley turned to Alex.

“Hey Morgan – how’s your pride?” Alex paused and looked at Kelley carefully.

“It’s perfectly intact, O’Hara.” She said. Kelley smiled softly at the taller girl. Alex didn’t smile back, but she didn’t grimace, either.

Kelley walked with Charlie back to the common room and went upstairs to wash off her face. Sonnett looked up from her spot in front of the fire, where she was practicing what looked like juggling. “What happened to you?”

“I think I’ve managed to phase Alex Morgan.”

***

Tobin, Christen, Charlie and Kelley had taken to studying by the lake. It usually ended up that Christen and Tobin would lounge on the shore, studying for much longer than Charlie and Kelley, who were quick to distraction and both suckers for swimming. This time around, however, Tobin and Christen had decided to take a walk, leaving Charlie and Kelley on their own under the soft spring sun.

Charlie’s nose was buried in his History of Magic textbook when Kelley poked him in the side.

“Hey Charles?” Charlie grunted and closed his book without hesitation.

“Sup Kells?”

“What do you know about the Morgan family?” Charlie’s signature Morgan look of disgust appeared on his face as he twirled his quill in his hand.

“What do you mean?”

“Christen mentioned that they’re powerful. I was just curious.” Charlie nodded, taking a breath in.

“All I know is that my dad doesn’t like Mr. Morgan at all. Says he was on the wrong side of the wizarding war. I also know that Slytherins don’t much like the Morgan family either, because Mrs. Morgan turned in her husband and a bunch of other guys to the Ministry, and now they’re all in Azkaban. I think there’s also a rumor floating around that she remarried a muggle, but that might just be gossip.”

Kelley nodded carefully, knowing vaguely of the recent wizarding war and Azkaban. “So I guess no one really likes them now?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Their family is at least respected – Mrs. Morgan is supposed to be absolutely brilliant when it comes to potions. She made a fortune off of some healing one she invented, it definitely saves lives on the regular. And Mr. Morgan was a leader during the war – he’s locked up now, but he still has loads of loyal followers. That's what makes him dangerous, even in prison.”

“Sounds like success runs in the family.”

“Guess it does. Explains their daughter, huh?”

Kelley hummed to herself and looked out across the waves of the lake, languidly flowing in the sunny breeze. She felt as if she had just figured out another piece of a puzzle she had been trying to solve for almost two years.

***

Kelley wasn’t ready for the summer.

She had taken to wandering around the castle, often in Sonnett’s company. The younger girl’s quest for laughter helped take her mind off of leaving Hogwarts so soon. The two always seemed to end up in the owlery, so that Kelley could feed and stroke Blue, and maybe shoot off a letter to her siblings.

Sonnett wasn’t with her on this particular day, opting instead to watch Charlie’s Quidditch practice – Kelley suspected she was planning on trying out for the team next year as well. So Kelley was surprised to see someone already in the owlery when she got there. It was usually empty in the late evenings.

She was somehow less surprised when she realized it was Alex.

Alex was curled up in the corner, a book on her lap, her free hand stroking an owl. Kelley wondered why she wasn’t in her usual reading spot (in the library with her squad of Ravenclaws) until she saw the tear tracks on her face and a letter crumped and discarded a few feet away.

Kelley wondered whether she should leave. A few weeks ago, she probably would’ve – but her and Alex had been getting along (well, not fighting _much_ ) in Potions, so she entered the room and called down Blue to make sure Alex knew she was there. Except Blue didn’t come down. He came _up_ , and Kelley realized with a start that he was the one Alex had been stroking.

Alex looked up in alarm. Her hand was frozen in midair, startled by the sudden absence of her companion. Her blue eyes danced with caution and a tinge of fear, and Kelley winced at the barely concealed hurt on the Slytherin’s face.

“Are you okay?”

At the sound of Kelley’s voice, Alex’s face hardened. She stood up and dusted off her legs, then her arms.

“I’m fine and it’s none of your business.”

Alex said it while tapping at her thighs. Blue hooted indignantly at Alex’s cutting tone and flew to perch on her shoulder, as if to soothe some of the anger out of her. Kelley grinned as Alex’s hard look softened quickly.

“Blue seems to like you a lot.”

“Is that his name? Yeah, he seemed to take to me after Christmas when someone used him to send me a clover.” Alex reached up to continue stroking Blue, who nudged her hand affectionately.

“Send is a strong word if the receiver doesn’t actually keep it.”

Alex seemed to almost laugh at that, and Kelley glowed in the way Alex’s sadness shrank a little at the mention of Kelley’s persistent pranks. But Alex’s face fell again when she reached out to snatch up her letter from the ground, tucking it carefully into her pocket. Kelley caught a quick glance of the bottom, reading the farewell: _‘Your mother, always.’_

Kelley was still basking in Alex’s perceived acceptance of her, delighted in Alex’s lack of flight even in her vulnerable state. She hesitated, then stepped a little closer. Alex didn’t back away.

“Is this about your family?” Kelley should’ve stopped when she saw Alex’s eyes flash dangerously. “I was talking to Charlie about them. It sounds rough.” Kelley definitely should’ve stopped when Alex’s shoulders tensed up so much that Blue took flight and disappeared into the rafters. “Are you okay?”

The silence after her last question finally clued Kelley in that she shouldn’t have brought Alex’s family up. It was too late.

“My family,” Alex started, blue eyes alight with fire, “is absolutely none of you or Weasley’s business. So you go ahead and tell him to quit running his mouth, and you can finally listen to what I've been telling you since the beginning and _leave. me. the. hell. alone._ ” Alex spit out the last few words through gritted teeth, and Kelley’s eyes were wide at the new tears forming in Alex’s eyes. Alex held Kelley’s gaze, letting raw anger filter through, before shoving her out of the way hard enough to knock Kelley over. Kelley stared from her position on the ground, knowing it would be futile to chase her.

***

When Kelley saw Alex the next day in the Great Hall, Alex didn’t acknowledge her.

In their last Potions class before the break, Alex didn’t speak a word to Kelley. She barely even looked at her.

Kelley knew it was stupid to be upset, because her and Alex weren’t even _friends_ , for Merlin’s sake. But Alex’s blue eyes were back to being as cold as that first day on the train, and it stung more than Kelley would have liked to admit.

She cheered up considerably on the train ride home. She laughed easily with Charlie and shared smiles with Christen and Tobin. She brightened most when Sonnett revealed she lived only an hour north of Kelley, and promised to visit at least once over the summer. But when Kelley was finally home, in her bedroom, it was Alex’s cold words that stuck in her head. _Listen to what I've been telling you since the beginning_.

Kelley had never been very good at listening.

Kelley was determined that by this time next year, she and Alex would be actual friends. She twisted a four-leaf clover in her hands before tucking it away into her nightstand drawer. She wouldn't be needing it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapter are for sure gonna be getting longer
> 
> Y'all are so kind, thank you :)
> 
> The book is named after a Billy Joel song "Vienna." You should give it a listen if you liked the chapter :)


	3. year three

Kelley came back to school for her third year two and a half inches taller.

Her legs had hurt for the entire summer as her bones and muscles grew too quickly, and Kelley was surprised that her freckles didn’t end up further apart, convinced her skin would have to stretch to keep up.

True to her word, Sonnett had come to visit her at the end of the summer so they could make the journey to King’s Cross Station together. The younger girl had crossed her arms and pouted when she realized how much taller Kelley was, waiting impatiently for her own growth spurt.

Kelley was excited to see how small Tobin would be compared to her own newly lanky frame.

So when Kelley bumped into the back of who she assumed was a fourth or fifth year girl, she muttered out an apology, head down, until the taller figure turned back to face her with a grin that was way too familiar.

“Hey freckles! Long time no see,” Tobin said, her mouth stretched to the corners of her face. She pulled Kelley into a tight hug, and Kelley grumbled in envy about the inch Tobin had managed to get on her over the summer, then grumbled some more about Tobin’s sun kissed hair and skin.

“You’re going to be fighting off the boys,” Kelley predicted as the three of them – her, Sonnett, and Tobin – walked through the train. Kelley had noticed the way an older Hufflepuff boy’s eyes had followed her friend’s figure as they walked by, blushing when Kelley shot him an angry look. Tobin made a face.

“I’ll fight them any day,” she commented, making Kelley and Sonnett laugh. “What I’m more worried about is Quidditch tryouts. If I don’t make the team this year, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”

“You’re gonna make it, Tobs. You barely got cut last year, and you’ve gotten loads better since then,” Kelley encouraged. “In no small thanks to me, either, so your first goal better be in my honor.”

“I’ll make sure to point at you after it goes in.”

“Oooh, I’m gonna make all these boys jealous,” Kelly teased, and Tobin shoved at Kelley’s side until Kelley threw an arm around her friend’s neck, matching grins on their faces. Kelley had missed this.

Charlie and Christen were waiting for them in the compartment, and Kelley didn’t miss the way Tobin ducked out of Kelley’s embrace the split second Christen came into view. She also didn’t miss the way Tobin’s smile got impossibly wider as she nearly knocked Kelley over in her haste to slide into the vacant spot next to Christen. Christen’s eyes followed Tobin’s every move, taking in the Hufflepuff’s new height and athletic build gained from a summer spent training in the sun, lingering on highlighted hair swept up into a loose ponytail. Kelley raised an eyebrow at all of this, pondering something unknown when it took Christen approximately five minutes to lay her head on Tobin’s shoulder.

Charlie, on the other hand, was completely oblivious, pulling Kelley into a friendly head lock while grinning toothily at Sonnett. He had heard that third years took Care of Magical Creatures and was absolutely thrilled about it, sharing that his dream job would be to work with wild animals. Christen looked at him curiously from her spot on Tobin’s shoulder.

“I thought you wanted to go pro with the whole Quidditch thing?”

“I dunno, maybe. I think I would get tired of Quidditch if I had to play it every day for the rest of my life.”

Tobin looked appalled at that. “Tired of Quidditch? People can get tired of Quidditch?”

“Literally anyone but you, ya dumb jock,” Kelly shot back, and Tobin threw a Chocolate Frog wrapper at her while Charlie roared with laughter.

It was good to be back.

***

At some point in the train ride, Charlie got up to go and ‘chat with the guys.’ The ridiculous phrase made Sonnett roll her eyes and mock him with her chest pushed out and arms swinging dramatically. But shefollowed him soon after to go and talk to some of her friends from her year. Kelley, Christen and Tobin lounged in a comfortable silence, Christen reading her book and Tobin staring out the window while Kelley rolled her wand around her fingers, buzzing with her usual energy.

After a good half hour, Christen closed her book carefully, looking up at Kelley.

“Hey Kell, I’m gonna go talk to Rose and Lindsey, I haven’t seen them yet. I’m sure Alex will be there too, wanna come?” Kelley turned to Christen with a furrowed brow.

“What does Alex have to do with anything?”

“Aren’t you guys friends?”

“What? No! Why would you think that?”

Christen studied Kelley carefully, looking down at her white-knuckled grip around her wand. Kelley blushed in spite of herself, heat creeping up into her ears.

“Didn’t you spend the better part of last year playing friendly pranks on her?”

“Yeah, but friendship has to go both ways. She hates me.” Christen continued to study Kelley intensely with searching eyes, until Kelley had to break eye contact and look down at her hands. When she looked back up, Christen was shaking her head.

“Why don’t you just come anyway? I know you like Rose and Linds, and I don’t think Alex would _hate_ seeing you,” she suggested, getting to her feet. Kelley looked at Tobin for support, but Tobin just shrugged and grinned, and it crossed Kelley’s mind how incredibly useless the girl was.

Grumbling, she let Christen pull her up and dragged her feet as she followed her friend down the train’s passage.

Sure enough, Alex was sharing a compartment with Rose and Lindsey, along with a Ravenclaw boy that Kelley vaguely recognized from their Quidditch team. Christen knocked lightly on the door and smiled brightly as the group of four looked up at her, giving a small wave. Rose got to the door first, squealing and latching onto Christen while she pulled her into the compartment.

Kelley stood awkwardly with her hands shoved into her pockets, not in the mood to deal with Alex’s hostility.

Christen noticed Kelley’s sulking and shot her a ‘be nice’ look (which Kelley stuck out her tongue to), but she still slid down into the only open seat in the compartment – next to Alex.

Kelley fiddled with her fingers and stared at her untied shoes, half-heartedly listening to her friends’ excited chatter, until she couldn’t take it anymore. She looked over at Alex.

Alex had her head resting on her hand, already looking at Kelley. Even though they were sitting down, Kelley could tell that the Slytherin had gotten impossibly taller over the summer, and her skin was nearly as dark as Tobin’s. Kelley thought of her own wiry frame, complete with knobby knees and freckled skin, and groaned inwardly.

Alex’s eyes were still guarded, but they weren’t as hard as Kelley remembered them being (especially after their last, rather hostile encounter), instead clouded over with something (nervousness? Kelley couldn’t believe that). They were also a clearer blue than Kelley remembered. Not that Kelley thought about the color of Alex’s eyes. No, not at all.

When Kelley made eye contact, Alex leaned toward her a little more, her chin still resting in her hand. Her hair was really, really long.

“Have a nice summer?” The words were soft and the only reason Kelley could guess they were meant for her was because no one else could hear them. The simple question, Kelley realized, was probably the nicest thing Alex had ever said to her.

“Yeah, yeah I did. You?” Kelley responded safely, trying not to scare off this new, more personable Alex. She hadn’t managed to look away from Alex’s eyes, which flashed slightly when Kelley (Merlin forbid) enquired about her home life – even just as a formality.

“It was fine,” Alex quipped. Then she shut her eyes for a second and inhaled deeply. “I mean, yes, it was good. I’m good. The family’s good. Thank you for asking.” Alex’s answer seemed a little over the top, and as Kelley searched her face, she realized Alex wasn’t just talking about her summer.

She was trying to apologize.

Alex Morgan was _apologizing_.

To _Kelley._

Oh.

Kelley nodded hurriedly, letting her signature lopsided grin take over her face. “Glad to hear it, Alex.”

“It’s Morgan.”

“Oh trust me, I know.”

Alex smiled a little at that, and it lit up Kelley’s chest with something she figured was hope.

***

When Christen and Kelley headed back to their compartment, Tobin wasn’t alone.

The older Hufflepuff boy that had been watching Tobin earlier was now seated across from her. Kelley guessed he was probably two years older, a fifth year. On closer inspection, Kelley realized he was a Quidditch player – all lean muscle and strong arms and _masculinity_ that most of the third-year boys hadn’t quite gained.

He was leaning toward Tobin with his hands on his knees, and Tobin was pressed up against the window, an easy smile on her face. But she was drumming her fingers along the windowpane, tipping Kelley off that she was slightly uncomfortable.

Christen was frozen.

“Kelley, who’s that?” Christen asked as she tugged on Kelley’s sleeve. When Kelley glanced over, Christen’s eyes were narrowed.

“A fifth year Hufflepuff. His name might be Danny? I think Tobs knows him,” Kelley answered.

“Does she like, _like_ him?”

“I’m pretty sure Tobin only really likes Quidditch, Chris,” Kelley reasoned. That didn’t seem to appease Christen much, who yanked on the compartment door harder than was necessary – which Kelley thought was strange for the normally mild-mannered girl. Even stranger was the way she stared icily at the stranger in their compartment until he shifted uncomfortably.

“Hey, I’m Daniel. I was just, uh, talking to Tobin,” he said, shooting them a ridiculously charming smile. Kelley was the only one that returned it.

“Kelley,” she chirped. Christen just continued to glare until Kelley elbowed her in the ribs.

“Press,” she said through gritted teeth. Daniel stuck out his hand then thought better of it, reaching back to nervously smooth his hair down over his eyes. He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked back over at Tobin.

“So I’ll see you around?” He said hopefully.

Tobin shrugged. “Sure,” she said. Her smile only returned to its usual brilliance when Daniel had left and was out of view, and Christen had slid back to her normal spot pressed against Tobin’s side.

“So Toby, my friend, my pal, what was that all about?” Kelley prodded, smirking. Tobin tapped her fingers against the windowpane again.

“He asked me if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him sometime.”

“Did you say yes?”

“I didn’t say no.” Kelley grinned at her even as Christen’s scowl deepened, and the Ravenclaw put a bit of distance in between herself and Tobin, picking up her book and not saying a word for the rest of the ride.

So yeah, boys were a thing now. Kelley wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

***

The Sorting Ceremony went quickly.

Sonnett, Charlie and Dansby joined her at the Gryffindor table. Dansby spent the entire time staring at the Ravenclaws. When Kelley looked over to see what was so _interesting_ , she just saw Mal sitting with Rose and Lindsey. Then it dawned on her.

Dansby was staring at Mal.

Mal would meet his eyes every so often and blush.

Boys really were a _thing_ now.

To distract herself from the mildly unsettling thought, she encouraged Sonnett as the younger girl took three rolls and started juggling them, whooping loudly when Charlie threw in a fourth and Sonnett caught it without a pause. But the thought wouldn’t leave her alone.

Boys were now interested in girls. Girls were now interested in boys. Should Kelley be, too?

She realized Charlie’s hand had kept brushing hers under the table.

The thought lingered much later that night, when she, Tobin and Charlie were lounging in the Gryffindor common room. From the way Tobin’s eyelids were fluttering, Kelley guessed she’d be spending another night knocked out on one of the comfy maroon couches in front of the fire. Christen hadn’t joined them, keeping up the distance from Tobin that had appeared on the train – leaving Tobin and Kelley both confused.

It was there, in the quiet comfort of people she trusted, exhaustion weighing down her thoughts, that the thought vocalized itself.

“Charlie, what do guys look for in girls?” Charlie looked up from the fire, eyeing Kelley with weariness.

“In girls? I dunno. I guess eyes are nice,” he said with a hint of nervousness. Kelley avoided his intense gaze.

“Christen’s got nice eyes,” Tobin mumbled sleepily from the couch. Charlie grinned at that.

“Yeah. Green eyes are really, really nice,” he agreed.

When Kelley finally made eye contact with him, she saw it.

She wondered how long the interest – interest in her - had been apparent there. She wondered if he knew she didn’t have any to match it.

She smiled back at him anyway. She was barely 14 - she didn’t have to like boys yet, right? And it was nice to have an option for when she inevitably started to. Because it was inevitable, right?

Charlie was funny. And good at Quidditch. She could give him that.

And his eyes were a nice shade of blue.

When Tobin started snoring, Kelley figured it was time for bed. She had a slight headache.

***

Care of Magical Creatures was as good as Charlie had hoped it would be.

Their entire class – all four houses – made the trek out to the outskirts of the Forbidden Forrest for their first lecture. Kelley noted Alex walking, as always, with a bunch of Ravenclaws. And she was smiling. She seemed to be smiling a lot more than she used to, or maybe Kelley had just never noticed it before. Or maybe she just never smiled around Kelley.

Either way, Kelley thought Alex looked really nice when she smiled.

Kelley shook the intruding thoughts out of her head in favor of laughing at the joke Charlie had just told her. She and Alex still weren’t even friends.

The first lesson was on bowtruckles, and Kelley found them absolutely adorable. She squealed in delight when one of the little creatures took a liking to Charlie before the instruction even began. It climbed in his bright hair, chattering excitedly, and his goofy grin was contagious as he let it scramble down his neck and around his shoulders before he reached out and took Kelley’s hands into his own.

Kelley felt a blush creep up her neck when he did, until she realized he had made a makeshift bridge to let the bowtruckle scamper onto her outstretched arms, settling happily in the collar of her robes.

Charlie kept her hands in his for a beat longer than necessary. Kelley felt Alex’s eyes on them, but didn’t look over.

“I’ve decided his name is Bo,” Charlie announced. Bo started chattering excitedly again, staring at Charlie with big eyes. Kelley added ‘good with creatures’ to her list of things she liked about the red-haired boy.

“O’Hara! Put the bowtruckle back into the tree!” Professor Kettleburn said with a pinch of irritation. Kelley shot Charlie an annoyed look as he laughed loudly, his head thrown back and eyes glimmering.

Professor Kettleburn separated them up into even groups of four. Kelley was paired with Rose and a Hufflepuff girl named Sam, along with Morgan Brian, a Slytherin. Rose and Sam were already friends, constantly giggling so hard that they could barely get words out, leaving Kelley to talk to Morgan as they inspected the bowtruckles.

“So, Brian, what do you think about Quidditch?” Kelley asked, making a stab at conversation.

Morgan shrugged. “I’m trying out for the open chaser position next week. Abby’s gonna be missed, it’s a good thing we have Alex.”

Kelley sensed an opportunity. She made sure Alex was out of earshot before she took it.

“What do you think about Alex?”

Morgan looked at her quizzically. “I mean, she’s a great Quidditch player, I definitely respect her.”

“How come you never hang out with her?”

“What is this, an interrogation?” Kelley stared her down until Morgan sighed. “Look, I’m not super up to date with house politics, but I know a lot of Slytherins avoid Alex because of her mum turning their parents in to the Ministry. For the rest of us, Alex just hasn’t ever been super inviting. She’s always with the Ravenclaws, so why give chase, you know? We’re too proud for that,” she admitted. “Why? Are you trying to pull another one of your clover pranks on her?”

“You know about those?”

“We all do, O’Hara.” Kelley blushed a little at that.

“No, I think those are behind me.”

“Too bad. I think they made Alex sort of happy, in a weird, annoyed way.”

Kelley tried to pretend that didn’t make her feel like she was soaring. “I think you should try talking to her. She seems – I don’t know, different. She could probably use some friends in her house.” She avoided the way Morgan looked at her with even more curiosity after the suggestion.

“You know what? I think I will. Can’t hurt if I’m trying out to be her teammate, anyway.” Kelley smiled to herself a little – typical Slytherin with multiple motives – and smiled a lot more after the lesson when she saw Alex and Morgan walking back to the castle side by side.

***

Sonnett watched the Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts from the stands.

Kelley had ribbed her about not coming out, but Sonnett had admitted that she didn’t feel ready yet. She wanted to be a beater, and Becky and Ali Kreiger (an outstanding addition to the team last year) undoubtedly had that covered for the time being. Kelley, on the other hand, felt like she had waited way too long to join the Quidditch world officially.

The second she kicked off, she knew she was going to make the team.

The evening was clear and warm and the smell of grass and sweat grounded Kelley even when she was high in the air.

Her new Nimbus flew smoothly, and the hours she had spent playing defense last year against Christen and Tobin left her half a second quicker than the other chaser hopefuls on the pitch. A half a second that let her take the quaffle from them three different times – each steal gaining possession that was vital to the success of her team during the scrimmage.

Not only that, but Kelley had a knack for finishing from difficult positions – in the last play of the evening, she caught the quaffle at an awkward angle, dropped it down, and kicked it past Harris, the starting keeper. Charlie whooped loudly at that, and Becky gave her an approving nod.

The next day before breakfast, Becky told her she had made the team.

Charlie cheered and picked her up, spinning her around, and Kelley basked in the thought of the year of team practices and matches and _Quidditch_ ahead of her.

The Great Hall was starting to fill up with students for breakfast, and Alex brushed by them with Morgan by her side. Morgan stopped when she saw Kelley and Charlie’s celebration, a smile gracing her features.

“I take it you made the team?”

“Sure did. I take it you did, too?”

“Sure did.” Alex blinked at Morgan and then at Kelley.

“You finally tried out then, O’Hara?” She asked.

Kelley puffed out her chest just slightly. “Yep. I’m Gryffindor’s newest chaser.” Alex quirked an eyebrow at that.

“Guess I’ll see you on the pitch, then.”

“You can count on it. I’m planning on taking the quaffle from you the first chance I get.”

“In your dreams, O’Hara. I’ve seen you with Heath. Good luck staying on your broom.” Alex smirked and Morgan laughed loudly, and Kelley regretted her part in the forming a friendship that was too witty for its own good.

***

Tobin had also made the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. Easily.

Kelley insisted that they go to the Three Broomsticks to celebrate, now that they were third years and allowed to. She blinked as they entered the dim lighting of the bar, taking in its warmth and buzz of easy conversation. She decided that she liked it.

She told Tobin as much. Tobin nodded as they found an open table.

“Yeah it’s nice. Daniel took me here last week.” Kelley nearly missed her stool as she was sitting down.

“Wait, you went on a date and didn’t tell me? What kind of best friend are you?” Kelley asked in disbelief, struggling to catch her balance. Tobin glanced at her.

“Shut up, Charlie’s your best friend. And it wasn’t a date.”

“That’s no excuse! Tell me everything!”

“Can’t we at least order drinks first?” Kelley rolled her eyes but agreed, asking the waitress for two butterbeers. She continued to gape at Tobin who seemed way too chill about the whole thing.

Then again, Tobin was way too chill about most things.

“So?” Kelley probed the second their drinks hit the peeling wood of the table. Tobin sighed and took a sip of her drink.

“It was nice. He bought me a drink and we talked about Quidditch.”

“Sounds like a date.”

“Well, he did kiss me at the end.” Kelley choked on her butterbeer, spluttering with wide eyes. Tobin raised an eyebrow.

“He did _what_?”

“He kissed me.”

“Was it good?”

“I guess it wasn’t bad. Kinda scratchy.”

“Are you seeing him again?”

“No. Chris has been super weird about it. And I don’t think he’s my type.”

Kelley spluttered some more. “Not your type? Is his smile _too_ charming? Is he _too_ good at Quidditch? Just _overly_ swoon worthy?”

Tobin wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know, Kell. I just didn’t want to kiss him again. I think maybe I’m just not ready. I mean, I’ve never even had a crush on a boy.”

Kelley nodded in understanding. “Me neither. I mean, we’re only third years.”

“Exactly. We’ve got time.”

“All the time in the world.”

“Cheers to that.” They clinked their bottles, and dove into a serious conversation about the new league formation of the Holyhead Harpies. But Kelley still felt slightly unsettled.

She wondered why it felt like time was running out.

***

Transfiguration was just so _infuriating._

Kelley was supposed to be turning a teapot into a tortoise, and she didn’t really understand _why_ , because why would you even have a teapot if you wanted a tortoise? Why wouldn’t you just get the tortoise in the first place?

She muttered the incantation for what felt like the thousandth time. The teapot maybe looked a little greener, if she squinted.

Charlie came over to try and help her, a tortoise snuggling contentedly in his arms. He tried to give her tips every time she waved her wand unsuccessfully – everything from “Maybe you should hold your wand higher” to “Say it like you mean it, Kells.” Kelley ended up snapping at him, her frustration winning over.

“Just leave me alone, Charlie! I can’t do it, okay?” She sat down with a huff, defeated, her head in her hands. Kelley rarely snapped at anyone, let alone her best friend, so Charlie nodded sheepishly and gave her one last sympathetic glance before heading back over to his table he shared with Dansby. Kelley eyed their matching tortoises with envy.

“Ms. O’Hara, could you do me a favor and stay after class?” Professor McGonagall was looking at Kelley with something that wasn’t quite disappointment (surprisingly, because Kelley was the only person in the class without a tortoise in front of her), but instead something like interest.

“You too, Ms. Morgan.” Kelley’s head snapped to Alex at that, who was stroking her tortoise she had managed to transfigure within minutes. Alex looked back at Kelley, equal confusion showing on her face.

When it was only Kelley and Alex left in the classroom, Professor McGonagall called Kelley up to her desk while Alex stayed in the back. Professor McGonagall spoke quietly so that Alex couldn’t hear their conversation.

“Ms. O’Hara, I’ve been watching you struggle in my class for over two years now.” Kelley looked down at her shoes, untied as always, unable to meet her professor’s eyes as her ears burned. It wasn’t like she wasn’t _trying_ , for Merlin’s sake. Transfiguration just didn’t _click_ for Kelley.

As if McGonagall could read her thoughts, she quickly added, “I don’t doubt your level of effort, Ms. O’Hara. Professor Flitwick tells me that you’re at the top of your class in Charms, and I know you’re proficient in Defense Against the Dark Arts as well. Not to mention your superb defensive skills on the Quidditch pitch.” Kelley’s eyes shot up at that, meeting Professor McGonagall’s twinkling ones.

“Ms. O’Hara, sometimes students find Transfiguration difficult because they have too _much_ focus. Transfiguration has a certain duality, if you will. I’ve asked you and Ms. Morgan to stay back today because I believe that she has a knack for noticing this duality.” McGonagall raised her voice for the next instruction so that Alex could hear as well.

“You will spend the next half hour here, with Ms. Morgan. I’m not asking you to successfully perform the spell today, per say, but to simply start in the process of changing your mindset. I’ll be in my office if anything happens.” Kelley groaned inwardly. The last thing she wanted to do was to take lessons from Alex – their partnership during last year’s Potions class had told her that much.

But Alex’s jaw was set in her signature determination. Kelley sighed, knowing her poor Transfiguration skills were Alex’s next challenge. Knowing Alex hated failing more than anything else.

After ten minutes, Kelley wondered if Alex would consider failing just this once.

Alex kept turning her tortoise back into a teapot then back into a tortoise again, telling Kelley to just copy what she was doing. And Kelley _tried_ , but her teapot remained stubbornly, well, a teapot. And it was frustrating because Kelley couldn’t see what she was doing wrong, even though Alex clearly could.

“O’Hara, it’s like you can’t believe that the teapot can even become a tortoise.”

“Why should I? It’s a teapot! It really has no business being a tortoise, if you think about it,” Kelley complained, collapsing into a chair. She realized she had actually worked up a sweat trying to get the damn thing to just grow legs and waddle around a little.

Alex sat down next to her, back straight, and Kelley rolled her eyes at the girl’s impeccable posture. Alex tapped her fingers against the table, deep in thought.

“Okay, so clearly we need a different approach to this.”

“Clearly.”

“What’s your go to thought on the Quidditch pitch?”

“My what?” Alex looked intensely at Kelley, leaning in, her blue eyes piercing. Kelley wondered why she had an urge to blush.

“When you’re on the Quidditch pitch, what are you thinking about? Say the other team has the quaffle. What’s on your mind in that moment?”

Kelley fought to look away from Alex’s cutting gaze so that she could think coherently. She closed her eyes and imagined herself dozens of feet off the ground, soaring through the air.

“I think about how I’m going to get the quaffle.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t think about how you’re going to score once you have the quaffle?”

“Well that’s more of a problem for when I actually have it, don’t you think?” Kelley opened her eyes to see Alex standing up, fiddling with the teapot that Kelley had failed to transfigure. Her brow was furrowed in thought.

“So it’s just one thing at a time for you? One end goal after another?”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Alex shook her head vigorously. “No. It’s not a bad thing at all. When you’re looking at the teapot, trying to transfigure it, do you just like, picture the tortoise?”

“Uh, I think so?”

“Well there’s your problem. You have to see the tortoise within the teapot, O’Hara. They’re connected. It’s a _process_.”

Alex held out the teapot to Kelley who took it hesitantly. “Okay?”

“You have to picture the teapot becoming the tortoise. See the body of the teapot? The round part? That’s what will become the shell. And the spigot? Look at that as the head. Do you see what I’m saying?”

Kelley held the teapot, studying it. And she _could_ see what Alex was saying, that the shape of it resembled the reptile in a way she hadn’t picked up on.

“Okay, okay I get it. Let me give it another shot.” Kelley put the teapot down, raised her wand, and tried again.

A tortoise blinked back at both of them.

It wasn’t perfect – its shell was still part ceramic, its neck curved in a way that it shouldn’t be – but Kelley didn’t care. It was the most success she’d had in Transfiguration, probably ever.

She stared at it incredulously for a second until she heard Alex squeal. Then she threw her arms in the air, head back, and cheered as loud as she could. “Ayeeee!”

Alex stepped a little closer to her, yelling something that might’ve been “You did it!”

On instinct, Kelley threw her arms around Alex’s neck.

On instinct, Kelley froze when she realized she had thrown her arms around Alex Morgan.

Kelley didn’t know if it was instinct that made Alex pull Kelley closer to her by her waist, picking her up slightly, spinning her around.

Kelley couldn’t help but notice how _different_ it felt than when Charlie had done the exact same thing.

Softer, but somehow just as strong.

Alex dropped her back to the ground and Kelley tried not to get lost in a smile that was finally directed at her.

When the girls finally settled down, Alex transfiguring the tortoise-teapot hybrid back into just a teapot, Kelley looked over at the Slytherin girl curiously.

“How’d you think to ask me about Quidditch?” When Alex looked back at her, Kelley wondered if she would ever get used to Alex’s eyes being so open. “Like, how did you know I’d have such a one-track mind? It’s not like we’re really friends.”

Alex laughed at that – clear and a little raspy. Kelley thought it might be one of the best sounds she’d ever heard.

“First year, when I took your wand from you so that you wouldn’t duel a fourth year – remember what you did?”

Kelley looked down sheepishly. “Uh, I punched him in the face?”

“Exactly. If that’s not a one-track mind, then I don’t know what is.”

Kelley grinned – she couldn’t really argue with that - and gathered her stuff to head back to the common room to get ready for Quidditch practice. On her way out, she glanced over her shoulder.

“Thanks for helping me out, Morgan.” 

Alex was all bright eyes and soft smiles.

“You can call me Alex.”

***

Kelley’s first Quidditch game is against Tobin and the Hufflepuffs.

At practice the night before, Becky had approached Kelley in the locker rooms while Kelley was peeling off her gloves. “Hey, Kelley, how good is Heath, really? My scouts tell me she’s a force to be reckoned with.”

Kelley nodded. “She’s definitely nothing to scoff at. She’s quick and tactical and hard to guard.”

Becky considered this. “I want you pinned to her tomorrow.”

“What?”

“You’re my best defensive chaser, Kell. And you’ve guarded her before. I don’t want her with the quaffle, and if she gets it, I definitely don’t want her to score. Are you up to it?”

Kelley slowly let a mischievous grin take over her face. “Oh yeah Bec. I’m up to it.”

Kelly thought Tobin was going to kill her.

It was Kelley’s first Quidditch game, sure, but it was also Tobin’s. And she had yet to touch the quaffle.

Hufflepuff’s two other chasers, Daniel and Sam Mewis, did their best to get the quaffle to the rookie – but every time they went to pass it, Kelley was there. And if Kelley wasn’t because of a quick juke by Tobin, Becky wacked a bludger toward Tobin, forcing her to give up possession.

“Kelley, I swear,” Tobin gritted out about halfway through the game, Kelley leaning forward on her broom and tailing her, even though the quaffle was in Harris’s hands. Kelley flashed a smirk at her.

“Sorry champ. Just following orders.” Harris launched the quaffle and Kelley cut up to catch it, looping back over Tobin and sending it soaring to McDonald, another Gryffindor chaser. Tobin flipped her off before giving quick chase after McDonald.

A bludger smashed into McDonald’s broom, Becky cursing under her breath, the quaffle dropping from the chaser's hands. Tobin swooped under her to snatch it and pulled into a dive, spinning out at the bottom of the pitch and hurtling toward Harris.

Kelley cursed (a lot louder than Becky had) and gave everything she had to catch up to Tobin and cut her off. Tobin rolled a bludger sent by Krieger, slowing just enough to let Kelley cut in front of her.

Tobin faked left. Kelley went left.

Then Tobin went right and sent the quaffle straight past Harris.

Tobin pointed at Kelley as soon as the quaffle went in, her grin _way_ too big for her face.

That fucker.

Kelley scored for her first time a couple plays later.

Her eyes scanned the crowds and found Alex with her hands cupped around her mouth, smiling as she cheered Kelley on.

Charlie crashed into Kelley right after he caught the snitch, and they both tumbled onto the ground. He landed on top of her. The crowd hollered. He grinned as his hair fell into his eyes.

Kelley wiggled a little bit to try and get back onto her feet, and he got up and picked her up to spin her around. The announcer made a joke, and Kelley’s eyes couldn’t help but search for Alex again.

She wasn’t looking anymore.

***

Kelley wanted to stay at Hogwarts again for Christmas break, but Christen was going to Tobin’s, and she didn’t really want to be alone on Christmas. She also knew her family would want to see her. But she made Sonnett promise that she could go up to her place to visit (and to keep her Quidditch skills sharp.)

It was there, at Sonnett’s, that things started to get weird for Kelley.

“Hey Kell, I’m pretty sure Charlie likes you.” They were in Sonnett’s bedroom, Sonnet sprawled across her bed, Kelley in her desk chair. “Do you like him?”

“I don’t right now, that’s for sure.”

“Why not? He’s like, really cute. Totally kissable.” Kelley stared at Sonnett incredulously.

“You would kiss him?”

“You wouldn’t?” Kelley stared some more. Sonnett rolled onto her stomach so she could see Kelley better. “Half the girls in my grade would, honestly.”

“Dude, you’re like, thirteen.”

Sonnett shrugged. “Yeah, and like half of thirteen-year olds think about kissing boys. Come on, that’s like science or something.”

“I’m not old enough to date boys, Sonny. Neither are you.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to date him, just if you liked him. Chill out, man.” Sonny rolled back over onto her back and Kelly’s thought raced.

***

After Christmas, Christen and Tobin were _weird._

There was a distance between them – but it wasn’t like the one in the beginning of the year, when Christen was mad about whatever she had been mad about. It was more uncomfortable, and it had Kelley squirming in her seat on the way back to Hogwarts.

Kelley confronted Tobin about it in the Hufflepuff common room hours after everyone else had gone to bed. It was Kelley’s turn to crash on an overstuffed yellow couch after they had talked late into the night.

“Hey Tobs, what’s up with you and Chris?” Tobin rolled her wand nervously in her hands, considering, which Kelley narrowed her eyes at. Tobin hardly ever had nervous twitches.

“I kissed her.”

Kelley didn’t really compute that right away. “Like, on the cheek?”

“No like I kissed her. On the lips. In a romantic way,” Tobin clarified. There was a blush across her neck. Kelley had _never_ seen Tobin blush.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

So you’re like – you’re like – ”

“Gay?”

“Yeah.”

Tobin sighed. “I don’t know, dude. At least a little bit.” Kelley chewed on her lip.

She had never known anyone who was gay.

She supposed she knew gay people _existed_ , vaguely, but she came from a conservative part of Ireland, and the subject was generally tiptoed around. It had never really occurred to her that girls could kiss other girls, if they so desired.

Her chest felt tight.

“And Christen? Is she, you know…” Kelley trailed off. Tobin’s eyes flashed and turned harder than Kelley had ever seen them.

“Gay isn’t a curse word, Kelley. And I don’t know. She kissed me back, so maybe.”

“Are you guys _dating_?”

“No, Kelley. It was just a kiss. I didn’t think you’d have a problem with it.”

“I don’t! I don’t Tobin, I promise. I just – you never mentioned it to me, you know?”

“There was never anything to mention til now.”

“So you didn’t know? Before this?”

“No Kell, I didn’t. And I still don’t really know. I just know I want to kiss Christen way more than I ever wanted to kiss Daniel.”

“Oh. Okay. That makes sense.” They fall into a comfortable silence, the fire crackling behind them, until Tobin got up to go to bed. “Hey Tobin?” Tobin faltered, turning back to Kelley.

“Yeah?”

“I love you, man.” Tobin smiled easily at that.

“I love you too, Kells.”

***

After that night, Kelley started to understand Christen and Tobin – it all sorta clicked together.

And she had always seen it, really, their constant physical closeness and borderline flirting. But now that she could process it, she started to see it a lot more – even as the two worked through their awkwardness.

They were walking back from Care of Magical Creatures. Professor Kettleburn had already given them a big project for the semester. Bowtruckles guarded wand trees, so everyone had taken home a sapling along with a bowtruckle to guard it. Their job was to earn the bowtruckle’s trust by the time the tree grew large enough to produce wand-suitable wood, so that they could harvest it and give it to Kettleburn – their success determining 20% of their grade.

It was Christen and Tobin walking so close that their hands kept brushing that made Kelley consciously drop back from her group. She really was completely okay with the whole gay thing, but Christen and Tobin were her _friends_ , and seeing them flirt made her gag a little bit.

When she stopped so that Christen and Tobin would outpace her, someone ran straight into her back.

That someone was Alex.

Not quite used to the new, friendlier Alex, Kelley was thinking of an apology right away – but stopped when she saw Alex’s eyes light up.

“O’Hara! I need to talk to you,” she said, pulling on Kelley’s sleeve so that they were steered away from the group, toward the lake. Charlie shot them a weird glance.

“Dude, you can really call me Kelley,” Kelley protested, but let herself get pulled by a very determined Alex, who lead them to a secluded spot with tall grass a couple meters from the shore.

“Okay, _Kelley_ , you owe me. And I need your help.” Kelley did _not_ think about how nice her name sounded coming off of Alex’s tongue. That was _not_ something Kelley thought about at all.

“What? What do I owe you for?”

“Transfiguration? Saving your ass last year? Saving it first year?”

“Hey! I didn’t need you – ”

“Oh, shut it, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is I need your help with this.” Alex held up her bowtruckle, which was burrowed deep into the roots of her sapling, clearly avoiding her. Kelley glanced around for her own bowtruckle, finding it clinging to the outside of her robes by her shoulders, captivated by her freckles.

Kelley guessed she could add Care of Magical Creatures to the number of things she could outdo Alex in. With that addition, it was a whole two.

“Alex, how exactly does the smartest girl in our grade get stumped by a bowtruckle?” Alex huffed at that.

“I don’t know, they didn’t like me during our lesson last semester, and I can’t figure out why. I did all the readings, but the only thing it says is that you have to show them that you’re trustworthy. How am I supposed to do that?” Alex looked so distraught and Kelley had to consciously bite back a laugh.

“You don’t know how to be _trustworthy_?”

“We’re not all you, O’Hara - ”

“Kelley.”

“Okay, Kelley – we can’t all just grin lopsidedly and win over anyone that graces our presence.”

That’s when Kelley realized that Alex had _no_ idea the effect she had on Kelley or anyone else.

It made Kelley’s stomach twist and knot in a new way. Not uncomfortable – just new.

“Alright, Alex. The first step it to trust yourself. If you don’t think you’re a good person, then why would the bowtruckle?”

Alex looked down at her shoes, her usual confidence disintegrating at Kelley’s words. Kelley’s voice softened.

“Hey, Alex. You _are_ a good person.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“That’s not entirely true. You’ve saved my ass like, three times now.” Alex’s eyes shot up at that, and Kelley definitely saw something new there.

Hope.

“Why don’t we meet at the library sometime? I’ll help you with the bowtruckle, you help me with Transfiguration. Deal?”

Alex nodded quickly, her hair bouncing. Kelley noted that it smelled like coconut. Then she wondered why she noted that.

“Deal.”

***

Kelley had never studied this hard in her life.

She had met up with Alex at 3, and it was now 6. That was a whole three hours of studying, which was pretty much two and a half more than Kelley ever did. She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

“Dude. If we have to do any more Transfiguration theory today, I’m going to die. And you might think I’m saying that figuratively, but I really think that I will kneel over and die if we don’t stop soon.”

Alex rolled her eyes so hard that Kelley thought they might unscrew a little and fall out of her head.

“This is probably why you’re not passing Transfiguration.”

“I _am_ passing Transfiguration, Alex. Am I passing it well? Not even close. But I’m still passing.”

Alex giggled. Kelley paused. Since when did Alex _giggle_?

She supposed she had seen it in the presence of that one older Ravenclaw, maybe once or twice. But never at one of Kelley’s jokes.

Kelley decided she liked Alex’s giggle.

But she didn’t like Alex’s intensive study habits.

“Why don’t we go outside and I’ll give you some more bowtruckle tips? I do owe you, I believe you said.”

Alex shut her books and stood up, to Kelley’s absolute relief. “Okay, fine. But if you don’t get an A on this paper, I’m going to make you study with me for twice as long.”

“Alex, I have never gotten an A on a paper in my _entire life_. I don’t plan to start now.”

“Studying it is, then.”

“I’m starting to think you just like my company.”

“Oh please. Shut up and tell me why that bowtruckle likes you so much, since you’re clearly insufferable.” Kelley’s eyebrows shot up at that, but Alex smiled sweetly at her and skipped away toward the greenhouses.

Something about her and Alex had shifted, for sure. Kelley just wasn’t sure exactly what it was.

Later, Kelley would realize that they were _friends_.

Kelley and Alex both got As on their Care of Magical Creatures project. And it wasn’t even hard. All Kelley had to do was tell Alex that a bowtruckle would be stupid not to trust someone who would stand up to Hope Solo as a first year - for someone they didn’t even really know, let alone like.

Alex had muttered a quiet “You remember that?” with big eyes.

“Of course I do, Alex. Anyone would.”

It was later, when Kelley realized that they were friends, that she also realized she had implied that _she_ trusted Alex.

That realization didn't really bother Kelley at all.

***

The last Quidditch game of the year was against Slytherin.

For the House Cup, of course.

Alex was all focus and composure. Like always. Jaw set, arms tensed, eyes serious.

Kelley already knew exactly what she had to do.

Alex had the quaffle (like always). She was watching an incoming bludger from her left side. She leaned to the right ever so slightly to avoid it.

Kelley was on her right, waiting. As soon as Alex leaned toward her, Kelley’s hand shot out, dislodging the quaffle from Alex’s grip and putting it right into Kelley's.

She swore she saw murder in the other chaser’s eyes – which only got more intense when Kelley shot her a lopsided grin. A grin she knew now for sure had charmed the girl at least a little bit.

When Kelley sent the quaffle soaring past Hope Solo, she flew back to where Alex was hovering, seething.

“Hey Morgan, what do you think?”

“About what?”

“That shot. I think it was - ” Kelley reached into her robe pocket, pulling out a signature green keepsake they both would instantly recognize.

“Pretty lucky.”

Kelley flew away laughing before Alex could act on the murderous look still lingering on her face.

***

It didn’t hit Kelley until the train ride home.

Christen was curled up on Tobin, as usual, but Tobin’s eyes were a little more gooey than before, and Kelley made a face and decided to go find Alex to say goodbye.

It hit her when Alex looked up from her book to see Kelley – and a smile instantly appeared on her face, her blue eyes sparkling as she reached out to open the compartment door.

That’s when it hit her.

She would much rather kiss Alex Morgan than any boy on the train.

Oh.

She wondered when she should tell Tobin that she, too, was at least a little bit gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the support on this fic I wasn't even sure I would follow through on. thank you for giving it life.
> 
> also, these chapters are fr getting thick I s2g


	4. year four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

When it was time for Kelley to go back to Hogwarts for her fourth year, Alex wasn’t on the train.

It didn’t take Kelley long to notice, because she had been looking for Alex the second she stepped on the platform. She knew, in the back of her head, the reason she was so keen to see Alex - but she didn’t really want to address it.

The days had stretched long over the summer, and Alex had given Kelley her address, because they were _friends_ , and Kelley had sent her a note, asking about her summer and other friendly things.

Kelley had waited, eagerly, for weeks. Alex had never written in return.

Alex’s blue eyes had swum through Kelley’s thoughts every time Blue showed up with empty talons yet again.

Kelley didn’t want to be dramatic, but she didn’t think she could wait much longer to hear Alex’s laugh again.

And sure, Kelley was excited to say hi to her friends. Charlie had grown in height and muscle, and Sonnett was pretty much swooning over him. But Charlie’s eyes had stayed on Kelley, taking in her frame that had finally managed to transition from small and wiry to feminine and strong.

Their hug lasted a second longer than it had the last year. Charlie’s arms were bigger and tighter around Kelley’s shoulders.

When Kelley pulled away, Charlie was looking at her with a blush creeping up to his cheeks, his blue eyes wide and happy.

His blue eyes reminded Kelley that she was looking for Alex.

Tobin and Christen threw her weird looks when she scooted past them and out of their compartment just minutes after having reunited with her closest friends. They would get over it, Kelley figured, when she noticed how close their hands were on the seat, their pinkies brushing.

Kelley played with her own hands nervously as she walked down the length of the train. She hadn’t seen Alex at the train station, which was pretty normal – but this time, she had actually been looking.

Kelley didn’t know why, but her gut was telling her that something was off.

Kelley found Alex’s normal compartment where the group of Ravenclaws were - the one older boy, along with Lindsey and Rose. Joining them was Dansby and Mal – but still no Alex. Kelley pushed the compartment door open, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

“Have you guys seen Alex?”

The older Ravenclaw (Kelley could not remember his name for the life of her) was the one to answer. “No, we haven’t. I’m not sure if she boarded the train or not.” He looked about as worried as Kelley felt – he was twirling his wand around his fingers anxiously as little blue sparks flew out the end of it.

“I’m gonna go and ask the Slytherins if they’ve seen her,” Kelley decided.

The Ravenclaw boy sprang to his feet. “I’m coming too.”

Kelley eyed him wearily – he was probably three inches taller than her, dark hair and eyes, a bit of stubble around his mouth and chin. Fit. _Attractive_ , Kelley realized.

But his intentions seemed to be on par with hers, his eyes mirroring the nerves she was feeling at the disappearance of their friend. So she just held the door open and followed him down the passage.

“I’m Servando, by the way.”

“Kelley. It’s nice to meet you.”

***

The Slytherins had not seen Alex.

Not even Morgan, who Kelley knew would have actually been looking.

Christen had laid a hand on Kelley’s anxiously bouncing knee once she got back to her apartment, a knowing look in her eyes. Kelley tried to flash a grin at her, but Christen had shaken her head and patted her sympathetically.

Kelley knew she shouldn’t be as worried as she was. She and Alex were friends now, but barely – Alex was closer with Rose and Lindsey and Servando. Servando, who hadn’t stopped fiddling with his wand the entire time they were searching the train.

Kelley remembered the giggling that Alex was prone to around the attractive, older Ravenclaw.

Her stomach twisted uncomfortably.

She knew why. She still didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Not yet.

***

Kelley was on edge for the entire rest of the train ride, and then through the Sorting Ceremony. Sonnett was cracking jokes and flirting with Charlie, and although Kelley normally joined in, tonight it was starting to drive her slightly insane.

She tapped her fingers nervously across the table, picking at her food.

She ignored Charlie’s worried eyes when she departed for her dorm instead of staying in the common room to catch up with her friends, like she normally did.

Where could Alex be?

No one ever showed up to Hogwarts late. Did they?

She tossed and turned all night, unable to fall asleep.

It wasn’t so much that she missed Alex – it was the worry that gnawed at her insides at the possibility that something bad had happened.

She ate breakfast the next morning with Tobin and Christen, who sat sickeningly close together. She tried to reciprocate Christen’s bright smile, but knew it fell flat. Tobin and Christen exchanged looks.

“Dude, seriously, what’s up with you? It’s not still Alex, is it?” Tobin finally asked, leaning in toward Kelley.

“No, of course not. We’re barely friends,” Kelley snapped. She stared at her plate, pushing her eggs around with her fork.

Christen raised any eyebrow at her comment. “Then how come you haven’t eaten since we got here?”

Kelley shoveled a forkful of eggs into her mouth, not bothering to swallow before retorting, “There, now I have, can you lay off now?” Christen shrunk away at Kelley’s sharp tone while Tobin bristled.

“Don’t talk to her like that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your girlfriend couldn’t handle it.”

“Dude, are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is wrong with you?” Tobin was on her feet now, fire in her eyes, while Christen gripped her arm and tried to pull her back down. She gave Kelley a pleading look, but Kelley was beyond reasoning.

“I’m sorry that for once in my life I’m not just cracking jokes and smiling. God, I’m allowed to be in bad moods too, okay?” Kelley spat out. She hadn’t even realized how she felt until she had said it – but she supposed she was tired of constantly being the comic relief. And she definitely couldn’t take her friends’ worried and angry eyes right now, so she grabbed her books and stormed out of the hall.

Would Alex ever be back?

Kelley figured she needed to find a way not to care.

***

Kelley sort of successfully navigated the rest of the week.

After she blew off some steam in Charms (they were thankfully learning the exploding spell, which Kelley _excelled_ at), she was ready to apologize to Tobin.

Well, she thought she was.

Then, one evening, she went looking for the Hufflepuff and found her standing at one of her favorite spots on the lake – under the big oak in the shade, just by the shore.

Snogging a girl.

A girl that wasn’t Christen.

What the hell?

Before Kelley could really think it through, she was marching up to the pair, shoving her way in between their embrace and pushing them apart as shock registered on both their faces.

Tobin looked like she was ready to murder Kelley right then and there.

“Kelley, what the _actual_ fuck has gotten into you?”

“Uh, Tobin, I’m gonna go,” the other girl said sheepishly, wiping off her mouth. “I'll see you later?”

Tobin just nodded, her eyes not leaving Kelley’s, dancing dangerously. Kelley waited until the other girl was out of sight before she spoke.

“How could you?”

“How could I _what_?”

“You’re cheating on Christen!”

“Dude! Christen and I aren’t even dating, you absolute psycho!”

Kelley’s eyes widened at Tobin’s last comment, and Tobin turned and pushed her hands through her hair.

“You’re not?”

“No! I told you that last year!”

“Yeah but, you guys are always so – you know – and I thought, I thought – ” Kelley spluttered and tumbled over her words, unable to quite process what was happening. Tobin turned back to her, her slouch more accentuated than normal. Kelley’s eyes got even wider.

“Wait, did she _reject_ you?”

“What! No! I haven’t even asked her out, Kell!” Tobin sat down on the grass, putting her head in her hands.

Oh.

It made sense to Kelley in an instant.

Her friends – her dear friends who were always, always, in each other’s orbits –

They were complete and absolute idiots.

Kelley sat down beside Tobin and slung an arm around her bony shoulders.

“Can I ask why you’re making out with random girls instead of dating the one you _want_ to be making out with?” She asked. Tobin shook her head through her hands, leaning into Kelley’s embrace.

“I just need some time to figure it out.”

“Alright Tobs. I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

So it wasn’t exactly an apology, but as Kelley sat and rubbed Tobin’s back while the other girl stared off at the sunset, she felt like an apology wasn’t really needed.

They were going to be okay.

But, Kelley mused to herself, fourth year had gotten off to a rough start for all of them.

***

The week ended and there was still no sign of Alex.

Kelley wasn’t as on edge as she had been, but her bad mood persisted as worry floated through her thoughts like a particularly clingy rain cloud.

The last straw came during Quidditch tryouts, of all things.

Kelley had heard that the Slytherins had a tryout for their open chaser position, as no one had heard from Alex and it seemed safe to assume she might not be coming back.

The thought of Alex never showing up to Hogwarts again was a thought that Kelley couldn’t really handle.

During tryouts it sat in the back of her head like a disease, lapping at her thoughts, as Kelley tried desperately to channel her inner turmoil into her signature aggression. It happened to be storming, and Kelley’s hands kept slipping on her broom as water dripped into her eyes. She wondered how Charlie could even see the snitch. But Kelley wasn’t about to let any newcomer show her up – especially now that she was a fourth year.

It was after she snatched the quaffle out of a sixth year’s hands with a hard but clean tackle, sending it hurling forward to McDonald, when Becky flew up to her.

“Hey Kelley, you’re looking really good this year,” Becky said sweetly. Kelley noticed her captain armband and grinned sincerely for the first time in days.

“Thanks, Bec. Congrats on captain, you deserve it.” Becky beamed a little at that.

“Speaking of, I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. How do you feel about playing beater with me?”

***

The answer was that Kelley did _not_ like the idea of playing beater.

She was a chaser, and a damned good one at that.

But Becky hadn’t really even taken Kelley’s overall negative reaction into consideration before saddling her up with a bat that had felt unfamiliar in her hands. The newly appointed captain had whooped gleefully when Kelley had (begrudgingly) sent a perfectly aimed bludger flying toward Charlie seconds before he would’ve snagged the snitch.

So yeah, Kelley was a beater now.

Why did it suddenly feel like everyone just made Kelley into whoever they wanted her to be?

“She said I was a great defensive chaser and that my skills were so easily transferable,” Kelley complained to Sonnett. It was later that night, and the two girls were the only ones awake in the Gryffindor common room. Kelley knew it was late, but she had hardly been sleeping lately anyway, and Sonnett was a more welcome presence than her own restless mind.

“Well, since Ali is injured, we’re kinda in desperate need,” Sonnett pointed out. Kelley knew that Sonnett had tried out for beater, so she thought the younger girl would be just as angry as she was about the position change. If Kelley had just stayed as a chaser, Sonnett could be on the pitch, too.

“It’s not fair, Son. None of this is fair,” Kelley said with a fair amount of agitation. But Sonnett looked at her with equal, maybe even greater, annoyance.

“Jesus Kelley, can’t you just snap out of it? I don’t really know what’s going on with you, but you’ve been a downer since we got to school,” Sonnett said, as she stood up from her place by the fire. If Kelley had been in the mindset to pay attention, she might have noticed the red rims around the other girl’s eyes, likely from crying after not making the team.

But Kelley was _tired_ of other people telling her what to be.

“Why is it that no one will let me be in a bad mood?” Kelley snapped, standing up so that she could get an inch on her younger friend and glare down at her. “I’m allowed to have feelings, too.”

“Whatever, Kelley. I’m going to bed. I hope you figure it out,” Sonnett said tiredly, pushing past Kelley to get to her dorm.

Kelley’s heart was hammering in her chest and her throat was tight. She couldn’t shake off the anger that was flowing freely through her body – she knew that she hadn’t been her normal, easy-going self the past week, but did that really mean she wasn’t good for anything?

Kelley needed somewhere to go where for once, she wouldn’t have to be anyone else’s version of her.

So that’s how she found herself storming out of the Gryffindor common room, curfew be damned, just trying to escape the staggering pressure that she was dangerously close to collapsing under. The pressure to be a beater, to be a team player, to be _Kelley_ – it was starting to become overwhelming.

Kelley wasn’t sure how she made it to the seventh floor. She had just let her feet wander through the lamplit corridors, footfalls echoing on stone, let the thought turn over and over in her head, almost hypnotizing –

‘I just need somewhere where there’s no pressure.’

The first time she walked by the door, she nearly tripped.

Kelley was positive that it hadn’t been there before, because she would’ve noticed a floor to ceiling wooden door, as ominous as it was imposing in the low light of the late evening. Black tendrils wove down the wood in an intricate pattern, ultimately forming a handle with no discernable lock.

She would’ve noticed it. Right?

Something about the black carved handle seemed to almost sing to Kelley. She knew it was late, and there was honestly a chance she was delirious or even dreaming – but she reached for the door anyway, wincing a bit at the loud creak it made as it swung open toward her.

Kelley peered inside nervously – she noticed the fire first, making the small room that had been revealed cozy and comfortable.

She noticed the couch next. Specifically, the person sitting on the couch, staring at the fire in a way that outlined their side profile. Kelley would recognize that jawline anywhere.

_“Alex?”_

***

Alex’s head snapped up, her jaw slack at the sight of Kelley standing in the doorway. Kelley took in the sight of the Slytherin’s luggage in a neat pile by her feet – had Alex just arrived? Why was she in a random, tiny room on the seventh floor, instead of in her dormitory?

“Kelley? How did you get in here?” Alex had stood up from her spot on the couch, the only piece of furniture in the small space. She wasn’t in her robes, instead sporting striped pajamas similar to Kelley’s own. Her skin glowed softly in the light, and Kelley swallowed thickly at the softness in her eyes and the way her hair fell easily around her face.

“I don’t know, I was just walking, and this door just kinda appeared, so I tried it out, and here I am?” Kelley stumbled over her words a bit, distracted by the way Alex grabbed her wrist and pulled her fully into the room as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

Alex, who wrapped her arms around Kelley’s shoulders as if she had actually answered the letter Kelley had sent her that summer.

Alex, who had been missing for the _entire_ week.

She guided Kelley to the spot on the couch next to her, crossing her legs under her and turning so she was facing Kelley, as Kelley leaned her shoulder against the back of the couch to study Alex.

“What is this place?”

“It’s called the Room of Requirement. I come here when I just need – well, just need to escape,” Alex explained. Kelley sucked in a breath.

“Al, where have you _been_?” The worry stuck in Kelley’s throat and clung to her words, her tone coming out strained. Alex’s eyes – blue as ever – searched Kelley’s and softened even further.

“Oh, Kelley. You shouldn’t have worried about me,” she murmured, her hand drifting to rest comfortably on Kelley’s knee. Kelley’s eyes followed the movement and her ears burned.

“Of course I’m worried. You didn’t write all summer, and then you didn’t show up to school, and I didn’t know if you maybe decided we weren’t actually friends or if something had _happened_ or – ”

“No, no, Kelley - we’re friends, you’re my friend. I’m sorry, there’s just so much going on that you don’t know,” Alex interrupted. Her thumb stroked soothingly over Kelley’s knee, but it didn’t calm Kelley’s racing mind.

“So then why can’t you just tell me?”

Alex was silent. The fire crackled. Kelley’s eyes traced over every inch of Alex’s face, from the crease in her eyebrows to the scar on her chin. Just minutes ago, she wasn’t sure if she’d see Alex all year.

It was probably close to 2 am, but Kelley had never felt more awake.

“Do you really want to know?” Alex broke the heavy silence finally. Kelley nodded.

“Alex, I want to help. I think maybe you could use a listener.”

Kelley could see tears starting to form in Alex’s eyes. Her heart cracked a little, the ache spreading through her body and to where Alex’s hand rested on her knee.

“Alright Kelley. Here we go.”

***

_Alex was born into a war she knew nothing about._

_They all were, but Alex, apparently, was thrown into the midst of it in a way she never wished for._

_The memories of her father grew hazier as Alex grew up, but Alex could still recall the way her dad spoke to her as if she was his entire world._

_She remembered sitting on his lap, barely old enough to read, as his blue eyes shone back at her in something so intense it made Alex fidget nervously._

_“Alex, my dear, dear child, you deserve the world. You deserve to be treated like the royalty you are. I’m fighting for that, Alex, do you understand? When you’re older, you will rule the world, my child. It’s our destiny.”_

_Five year old Alex didn’t really understand the words that were spoken to her. But she liked her father’s tone - it made her feel important, made her feel special – something that was sometimes hard to come by in the prodigious manner she had spent her childhood in._

_Alex’s mother never talked to her like that._

_Alex’s mother seemed to only care about her work, always in the stone basement, brewing potion after potion. Whenever Alex felt brave enough to peek down the stairs, she would see her mother muttering to herself, throwing seemingly random objects into a large cauldron. If she caught sight of Alex, sitting quietly on the stairwell, she would start screeching._

_“Can’t you see I’m busy! I have no time for your shenanigans! Go! Go back to your playtime! Stay out!”_

_Alex, it seemed, wasn’t useful to her mother at age five._

_It was two years later when the fighting started._

_Alex would shut herself in the library, curled up in her favorite armchair on the second floor, trying desperately to tune out the screaming that came from the living room._

_“You’re a failure, face it, you picked the wrong side. You’re going to Azkaban, it’s unavoidable! How could you be so idiotic!”_

_“I didn’t pick the wrong side, I picked the side that was best for the Wizarding World! How is it my fault that the Potter child somehow managed to thwart our plans?”_

_“Just get out. You lost. The police will be tracking you down, and I won’t let them near this house or my work.”_

_“Your work! That’s all you care about! What about our child? What about our future?”_

_“Our child will learn what real success is. We don’t have a future. Get out of my house before I turn you in myself.”_

_Alex’s book was marked with tear stains when her father appeared in front of her. She reached out for his strong arms, craving his undivided attention, as always._

_“Alex, Alex, I’m so sorry. I wanted for you to live in a world where you are rightfully a queen. Understand that, Alex. I love you. I love you so much. I’ll see you again someday. I promise.” Alex clung to her dad as he spoke softly, soothingly into her ear. He smelled like cinnamon and radiated a warmth that was so familiar, the closest thing to family she had ever felt._

_She cried harder when he put her down, still whispering promises, and with a final stroke of her hair, walked away._

_Alex never saw her dad again after that._

_She knew, once she was older, that he had gone Azkaban after giving flight._

_She didn’t know how he was caught. She suspected, though, and watched her mother with weary eyes when she muttered strings of curses under her breath, often accompanied by the name of her father._

_Alex had to learn to cope._

_She did that on a broom – as far away as possible from her mother and her mansion and her fortune made from a war her dad had fought for. Alex’s mom’s potions healed injuries miraculously, and everyone called her a missionary, the praise flowing endlessly for a lost wife who had managed to do good even in the shadow of an evil husband._

_Alex got good on her broom._

_Really good._

_So good that her mother finally noticed her._

_“You better do that at Hogwarts, Alex. My daughter will be the best quidditch player that school has ever seen. Don’t you dare quit practicing.”_

_Alex learned her mother’s definition of success – not being good, but being the_ best.

_When she made the Slytherin Quidditch team as a first year, Alex understood._

_Her heart ached in the absence of her dad. She felt lonely every minute she spent in that family mansion, in the middle of nowhere, her mother constantly critiquing her Quidditch skills and her studies and her grades. Making sure her daughter was the best._

_But when Alex was the best – when she was on the top, unrivaled – her heart ached a little less. The drive to succeed managed to overpower her other wants, her other needs, blocking out any lingering aches from a childhood with little love._

_And at school, the whispers followed her from day one._

_The other Slytherins knew her mother had played a hand in landing their parents in Azkaban. And her father was outspoken in his support for the Dark Lord, even from behind bars._

_Alex had enemies on all sides._

_But Alex knew how to shut down the rumors. She kept her head high, her posture impeccable, her grades sharp, and flew like a professional at the age of eleven._

_Alex had to be untouchable to survive._

_She wrote to her mother after every Quidditch game. And after every game, she received a letter in return that made her stomach drop – never a word of pride, but simply urging her to do better – every one signed with ‘your mother, always.’_

_As Alex progressed through school, she finally started to understand that her mother could not be the one to determine her success._

_Neither could her father. Alex’s memories of him were warm, but the stories of what he had done in the name of ‘righteousness’ – those were so cold they chilled Alex to the bone._

_Third year, Alex cast off her family legacy. She decided then to make a name for herself – for Alex, not for Morgan. A certain freckled Gryffindor had started to teach her that pride was not the most important thing in the world._

_Third year was the best year of her life._

_But when Alex returned home, after a year of ignoring her mother’s increasingly impatient requests for updates on her grades and on her Quidditch stats, her mother was_ livid.

_“How could you? You’re a Morgan, Alex. Success runs not in your veins, but in the family, whether you like it or not.”_

_Alex’s mother had started to doubt Hogwarts, too._

_“You don’t need to go back, Alex. You’re going to inherit my business. All you need to know is everything I can teach you.”_

_Alex couldn’t believe her ears. “I don’t want to inherit the family business! I want to go to school and learn and play Quidditch, like every other fourteen year old.”_

_“No. You’re staying here. It’s what’s best for you, even if you don’t understand it yet.”_

_Alex knew her mother was intercepting her mail when not one of her friends wrote her. Not Lindsey, not Rose, and not Kelley. Her heart ached for the only home she had ever known._

_Alex had packed for school when the time came, but her mother refused to drive her to the train station. Alex didn’t have an owl, either, relying on the school’s during the year. She paced the house, praying that someone would notice her absence and come fetch her from her mother’s clutches._

_An owl arrived after Alex wasn’t at the Sorting Ceremony. Alex’s mother intercepted the letter before Alex could read it._

_Two more came. Both were intercepted._

_Every evening, after her mandatory studies, Alex sat at the doorstop with her luggage, tapping her feet, waiting. Hoping._

_On the last day of the week, Professor Snape apparated right in front of her._

_“Morgan. It’s time for you to come back to Hogwarts.” Snape spoke with easy conviction, and for once, Alex was thankful for his threatening figure._

_But before Alex could respond, her mother was barreling through the front door, wand out, stepping threatening toward Snape._

_“She’s my daughter! You can’t force her to go anywhere!” Alex’s mother stepped in front of her, wand still raised._

_Professor Snape spoke calmly._

_“It’s against the Wizarding Law to keep minors from Hogwarts,” he said. “Step aside and let Alex come with me.”_

_“I’ll hex you!” Alex’s mother threatened. Her arm was shaking, though, her wand hardly steady enough to cast a spell. Snape hadn’t drawn his yet, but his hand drifted toward his robe pocket, dark eyes foreboding._

_“I’d advise strongly against that, Ms. Morgan. It’ll land you even further in trouble than you already are,” Snape sneered. “You don’t want to end up locked away with your ex-husband, do you?”_

_At the mention of Alex’s father, Alex’s mother took a trembling step back._

_“Fine. Take her. See if I care. Alex, don’t even think about coming back here for Christmas.”_

_“Like I would ever,” Alex muttered under her breath as she took her luggage and Professor Snape’s hand. They apparated to Hogwarts with her mother still glaring from the front porch._

_Alex had slipped away from Snape’s inquiries under the claim that she needed to go to bed. That had been five hours ago._

_She had gone straight to the seventh floor where she knew there was an escape from Morgan family name. Where Alex could just be Alex until the next day._

***

During one of the more heart wrenching moments of Alex’s backstory, Kelley had taken the hand on her knee and used it to pull Alex toward her. Alex had settled comfortably next to Kelley’s side, Kelley’s hands stroking her arms soothingly.

When Alex finished speaking, there were tears falling down into her lap. Kelley reached further and Alex crumpled into her, her face buried in Kelley’s neck, puffs of air ghosting across the smaller girl’s collar bone as Alex cried quietly. Kelley’s heart broke again, as it had so many times already that night.

“Alex, Alex, I’m so sorry,” Kelley murmured as she ran her hand through Alex’s hair. “You’re safe now. You’re at school.” Alex’s arms tightened around Kelley’s waist. Kelley wanted to add that she was there and Alex would always be safe with her. But she thought better of it.

Kelley thought of her own family, who loved her even when she was so vastly different than them, who always wanted Kelley home for Christmas. Alex, who was always so smart, so strong – had none of that. Alex, who had more pressure on her than Kelley could even fathom, had managed to handle it on her own.

When Alex looked up from Kelley neck, eyes red, it took everything Kelley had not to hold onto Alex and never let go.

She had never seen Alex’s eyes so open and vulnerable, glowing with trust – if Kelley had to guess, she would say that few ever saw Alex like this. And yeah, every bone in Kelley’s body was screaming to just close the distance and let Alex know how much Kelley cared for her, how much Kelley wanted to be there for her always.

She opted instead to push the loose strands of hair out of Alex’s face, her fingers brushing over Alex’s cheekbones. Kelley marveled about how easily Alex leaned into her touch.

“Alex, you are _so_ strong.”

Alex blushed at that, looking down at her lap. “I’m really glad I told someone all that. I think I needed to.”

And Kelley thought she needed to as well, because after everything was off her chest, Alex’s eyes had gone from anxious to fluttering with exhaustion.

“You should go get some sleep.”

“No. Wanna stay here,” Alex said sleepily, already slumping toward a more comfortable position on the small couch with her head toward the fire. And when Kelley considered, it was nearing 3 am, and neither of them wanted to get caught for curfew by walking back to their common rooms – especially Alex. There was a blanket draped across the back of the couch, and Kelley was wondering if she should sleep on the floor when Alex tugged her down.

“Stay with me.”

Kelley’s stomach knotted at the words.

So she draped the blanket over the two of them on the too small couch, her back pressed against the cushions, Alex easily curling into her side with her head pressed into Kelley’s neck. Alex, who was stunningly beautiful in the low light of the fire. Alex, whose hands traced across freckles on Kelley’s upper arms as she drifted off to sleep.

As Alex’s breaths inevitably evened out, Kelley heard her whisper.

“Thank you.”

***

Kelley woke the next morning with an aching back.

She was shoved deep into the cushions of the couch, her right arm tingling from where it was stuck under Alex’s ribs. Alex was curled up in a ball with her back against Kelley’s front.

Kelley didn’t want to be creepy, but she couldn’t help but study Alex as she slept soundly. Her hair was even longer than it had been last year, straight and soft, falling around her shoulders. She had gotten taller, but not by much, and her legs were impossibly long – though her lanky frame looked impossibly small when she was curled up, asleep. Kelley could tell that Alex was objectively attractive.

Kelley realized that she found Alex breathtakingly beautiful.

The thought had just crossed her mind when Alex stirred, lifting her head up and pushing the hair out of her eyes. She looked around until her eyes found Kelley and her face split into a soft smile.

“Good morning,” Alex said, and Kelley held her breath at the way Alex’s voice was even raspier in the early hours of the day.

“Morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?” Kelley’s question was weighed down with the confessions from last night - Kelley needed to know if Alex was still okay with crossing that boundary. If Alex still trusted her.

“I’m great, Kell. Thank you,” Alex said, ducking her head slightly. Kelley noticed how close they still were when Alex’s nose bumped against her shirt, and she sat up to give both of them some breathing room.

“What did you say this place was again?”

“The Room of Requirement. It shows up if you’re in desperate need of somewhere. I come here when I need an escape from pressure and expectations.”

That made sense to Kelley – the night before, she had felt as if she were under impossible amounts of pressure. After hearing Alex’s story, she thought maybe she should just toughen up a bit.

“I wonder how come I could get in, if you were trying to avoid everyone?” Kelley wondered aloud, staring at the soothing gray blue of the walls. Alex turned toward her.

“I’m not trying to avoid everyone. Just the ones I can’t be myself around,” Alex admitted quietly.

Kelley felt her ears burn.

“You can be yourself around me, I promise.”

“I know, Kell. I know.”

***

It was a Saturday morning, so Kelley wasn’t in a hurry to leave Alex and their strange bubble apart from the rest of the school, but Alex needed to unpack and talk to Dumbledore. And, Kelley thought, reassure her other friends that she was okay.

“Hey, make sure you find Servando and tell him you’re alive. He was worried,” Kelley said to Alex as they were walking out of the Room of Requirement. She immediately regretted mentioning the handsome Ravenclaw.

“He was worried? What exactly did he say?” The way Alex’s eagerness coated her words made Kelley’s throat close up. When she looked over, Alex’s eyes were dancing with interest.

“Nothing much. He was just looking for you when I was looking for you,” Kelley said offhandedly. Alex, thankfully, dropped it.

She didn’t say anything about the fact that Kelley had also been looking for her. Kelley wished she had.

***

When Kelley got back to the Gryffindor common room, she was greeted by Charlie and Dansby playing a round of Wizard’s Chess in their pajamas. Charlie’s face immediately lit up when he caught sight of Kelley.

“Kells! We were just talking about you!” He said happily, motioning to the seat next to him. Kelley took it.

“Yeah! You’re going to make such a badass beater dude!” Dansby added in. “And I’m stoked to be a chaser. We’re totally gonna take the house cup!” Kelley couldn’t help the happiness that bubbled up in her chest at the sight of her two friends’ giddiness over Quidditch. And with her position switch, she finally got to play on the same team as Dansby.

Things could be a lot worse.

“I’m excited to try it out. And I can’t wait to play with both of y’all,” Kelley said, her grin stretched wide to the corners of her mouth. She realized she hadn’t smiled like that since the school year had started.

After Dansby and Charlie finished their game, Dansby went to the Great Hall to meet Mallory for breakfast. Once he was gone, Charlie wrapped Kelley up in a big bear hug.

“You’re back to normal, Kells,” he said, an arm staying around her shoulder even after Kelley pulled away from the hug. “It’s really great to see you smiling again.”

“Thanks, Charles. It’s good to be back.”

***

Later that day, Kelley was still in the common room catching up on homework when Sonnett approached her.

“Hey Kelley, can we talk for a sec?” Kelley looked up to see Sonnett wringing her hands nervously, bouncing from foot to foot with a familiar insuppressible energy. It made Kelley smile a little, how similar the younger girl was to her sometimes.

“Sure Sonny. What’s up?”

“It’s just, I’m sorry for snapping last night. I was real pissed about not making the Quidditch team, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Kelley’s eyes softened at the sincere words – though Sonnett wasn’t looking up from her shoelaces to catch it.

“It’s okay. I was out of line too,” Kelley admitted. “I know I’ve been short tempered lately, and I’m working on it.”

“If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here,” Sonnett said, finally looking up from her shoes. It struck Kelley that the younger girl had grown since the year before – her shoulders were more sure, her words more meaningful. She was still Sonnett, but perhaps with a tad bit more emotional maturity.

Kelley figured she might be able to say the same for herself.

“I know, Em. Thank you,” Kelley said. Sonnett crinkled her nose at the nickname.

“Dude, since when is it _Em_?” Kelley shrugged.

“Since I learned last night that first names are better than last names.”

“Okay, I don’t know what kind of philosophical shit train you’re on, but it’s _S _onnett_. It’s always been Sonnett. Say it with me. _Son-net_ ,” _Sonnett said as she plopped down next to Kelley, who laughed and threw the nearest pillow at her.

“Sorry, what was it? Bonnett?”

“Shut it, Smelley,” Sonnett retorted in the blink of an eye, and Kelley threw her head back and roared with laughter. She had missed her laugh coming this easily and the carefree feeling that spread through her fingertips.

She and Sonnett sat in a comfortable silence that they hadn’t been able to find since last year. Relief swirled in Kelley’s chest.

“Hey, Kelley?”

“Yeah, Hobbit?”

“Okay that’s not even close, man. But are you ever gonna let Charlie make a move?” Kelley’s eyes snapped to Sonnett at that.

“I told you, I’m not ready yet.”

Sonnett rolled her eyes, and Kelley was uncomfortably aware of how close the expiration date on that excuse was.

***

Kelley and Alex had shifted after the night in the Room of Requirement.

Kelley had considered Alex a friend since last year, but she always knew Alex had closer friends in her hoard of Ravenclaws, and Kelley spent the vast majority of her time with Christen, Tobin and Charlie. But after Alex had confided in Kelley, the lightness and comfort of their friendship became such a presence that it was hard to ignore.

After that night and deep into the semester, Alex and Kelley found themselves attached at the hip.

They studied together in the library, Alex helping Kelley with Transfiguration and Kelley giving a handful of helpful tips about Charms. Kelley was still in Care of Magical Creatures but Alex had dropped it – not that that stopped Kelley from dragging Alex out to the Forbidden Forest to show her whatever new animal had been introduced in that week’s lessons.

“It’s just a hippogriff, Al. Don’t be scared of it,” Kelley said impatiently one day, when Alex was refusing to get closer to the large beast in front of her. The sun was beating down on Alex’s hair, making it glow softly.

“It’s huge, Kelley.”

“And harmless. Here, let me help.” Kelley stepped forward so she was next to Alex, reaching for her hand to guide it to the hippogriff’s beak.

Alex let her without hesitation. Kelley knew that Alex trusted her, and that they had grown impossibly close this year – but it still tugged nicely at Kelley’s heart every time she saw just how far Alex had let her in.

Kelley put Alex’s hand on the hippogriff’s beak, her hand laid gingerly over the Slytherin’s. Alex bit her lip and Kelley tried to focus on anything except how soft Alex’s skin was.

The next day at dinner, Kelley went to sit next to Alex at the Slytherin table as if it were nothing.

And it wasn’t, really – Tobin and Christen sat at the Gryffindor table all the time – but when Kelley squeezed in in between Morgan and Alex, she was met with strange stares from the other Slytherins. She smiled lopsidedly at them with a quick ‘sup guys?’, making Morgan giggle a little.

Unfortunately, one of the people staring was Hope Solo.

Even more unfortunately, Kelley was sure that as a first year, she hadn’t noticed how ridiculously attractive the Slytherin seeker was.

As Kelley listened to Morgan and Alex, her eyes kept flitting over to Hope. The older girl was all confidence and grave seriousness about whatever she was talking to Rapinoe about. Hope caught her staring, once, and smiled ( _smiled!_ ) at her.

“O’Hara. You’ve been looking good as beater,” she said, her tone not unkind – a drastic change from all those years ago in the dungeon. “Try not to seriously maim any of my chasers when we take on Gryffindor.”

Alex and Morgan both spluttered indignantly as Kelley’s entire face lit up at the praise. Even as Hope went back to her conversation with Rapinoe, Kelley couldn’t help but to continue to stare at the attractive quidditch player until she and Pinoe got up to leave the table.

“Kelley. Kelley. Earth to Kelley,” Morgan was saying, poking Kelley in her side to get her to snap out of her trance. Kelley blinked twice, looking at her friends – Morgan was smiling in amusement while Alex scowled.

“What?”

“You totally have a thing for Hope Solo.”

“What! No I don’t,” Kelley protested, ears burning. Alex stayed silent, her scowl still present on her face.

“You were staring at her for like, twenty minutes,” Morgan giggled, and Kelley cursed herself for her ridiculous lack of subtlety. “Come on Kelley, admit it. She’s hot."

“Will you leave me alone if I do?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Maybe I’ll tell her,” Morgan teased. Alex shot up from the table at that.

“Kelley does not have a crush on Hope. She called her a mudblood when we were first years,” she snapped, and Morgan and Kelley both recoiled at her tone.

“Well yeah, but she was a crackhead when we were first years, Al. She’s way better now,” Morgan pointed out, nudging Kelley with her shoulder. “She and Kelley could be adorable.”

“Dude, how do you know if I’m even into girls?” Kelley objected. Morgan’s grin was so big that it made Kelley grumble in annoyance.

“Because I’m not fucking blind, _dude_ ,” she said, giving Kelley a playful punch on the shoulder. “No straight girl would stare at Hope for _that long_.” Kelley gaped at her, and then at Alex, expecting surprise from her at the discussion about Kelley’s sexuality – but Alex was just still scowling.

“Fine, Hope Solo is wildly attractive. Are you happy now?”

An excited ‘yes!’ from Morgan was met with a grumbled ‘no,’ from Alex – making Morgan look over at her sharply.

“Alex, come on.”

“I just thought Kelley would have better taste than someone who blatantly insulted her, that’s all,” Alex muttered angrily, leaving a confused Morgan and Kelley behind at the Slytherin table as she stalked away.

When Kelley caught up with Alex later in the library, her mood had improved enormously, any lingering resentment completely gone as she propped her feet up on Kelley’s lap. Kelley glanced up from her book about dragons every so often to check and see if Alex wanted to talk – but Alex was contentedly engrossed in her studies, as if without a care in the world. All of it confused Kelley in a way that people rarely managed to.

No matter how close she and Alex had gotten, Alex Morgan would always be somewhat of a mystery.

***

Tobin started insisting on having breakfast with Kelley pretty much every morning.

She called it their ‘bro time,’ which made Kelley roll her eyes – but she could see where Tobin was coming from. Between quidditch and classes and certain brunettes, the two girls had to put in effort to see each other regularly.

“Jeez, are you worried she’s gonna disappear again?” Tobin muttered one day when Kelley got up to leave their breakfast early to get in some Quidditch practice with Alex.

Kelley raised an eyebrow at that.

“Like you and Christen are any better?” She asked. Tobin shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s different. You don’t _like_ Alex,” She pointed out. Kelley turned her head to hide her blush – but not quickly enough. Tobin’s face split into an incredulous grin.

“Oh my God, you do like Alex! Dude!” Tobin exclaimed, pulling Kelley back down so she couldn’t escape the uncomfortable conversation. She glanced around wearily, but she and Tobin were the only ones seated at the Gryffindor table.

Tobin was still way too gleeful. “You like _Alex._ Alex _Morgan_. You and the entire rest of the school, pal. Good luck,” She said, her eyes gleaming.

And she wasn’t wrong.

Alex had started their fourth year mysteriously late, which just added to her allure. She was all long tan legs and piercing blue eyes and had an unapproachable aloofness that drove boys mad – not to mention the way she often and easily bested opponents twice her size on the quidditch pitch. She was the object of lingering stares and whispers – no longer because of her last name, but from dares to ask her to an upcoming ball or to get her to go on a date to Hogsmeade.

Even seventh years seemed to be noticing the Slytherin – Kelley had heard that a boy named Zabini had tried his hand at wooing Alex. She had also heard Alex had called him gross.

And Servando was at Alex’s side pretty much every second Kelley wasn’t in a way that made Kelley look down at her own freckled skin and small frame sadly.

Kelley really didn’t stand a chance.

“I know, okay? I’ll snap out of it,” Kelley told Tobin. “And maybe you should focus less on my crushes and more on you and Christen, because I haven’t seen _any_ progress there.”

Kelley’s comment didn’t take any of the playfulness out of Tobin’s eyes like she hoped it would. “Yeah yeah, Christen and I are just taking our time. But seriously, you haven’t even mentioned that you’re ga-”

“What’re you guys talking about?” Alex had walked up behind Tobin, her broom clutched in her hands, hair thrown back into her signature quidditch ponytail. Kelley felt a blush creep up to her neck immediately.

“Nothing!” Tobin and Kelley squeaked out at the same time. They both looked at each other then down to their laps, a smile playing across Tobin’s lips and a scowl on Kelley’s.

Alex narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“Weirdos. Kelley, we’re supposed to be flying right now.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming. See you later Tobin!” Kelley was all too eager to dart away from her friend’s prying eyes, ignoring the “We’re talking about this later!” that Tobin threw after their retreating backs.

“Talking about what later?” Alex asked.

“Nothing,” Kelley repeated. Alex raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we told each other everything.”

“Since when?”

“Since last week.”

“What was last week?”

“I decided that you’re my best friend.” Kelley fake gasped at that, her hand clutching her heart.

“I’ve never been more honored in my entire life.” Alex giggled.

“Well, am I yours?”

“My what?”

“Your best friend, you nutcase.” Kelley looked over at Alex, whose eyes were shining, her broom thrown over shoulder. Kelley’s hand twitched as she fought the urge to reach over and take Alex’s free hand into her own.

“Yeah Al. You’re my best friend.”

***

Charlie had started to be really, really, weird.

He had taken to asking Kelley to walk around grounds every time he saw her without a pressing occupation. And Kelley obviously liked Charlie a lot – he was her best friend, if you excluded Alex, who was kinda in a class of her own – but they never used to walk around grounds. They used to play pranks on their friends or sneak into the Forbidden Forest to be with the creatures that resided there.

Walking around grounds was okay, but Kelley missed the laughter from their old shenanigans.

On this particular stroll, they had been talking about threstrals, their newest study in their Care of Magical Creatures Class. Kelley couldn’t see them and neither could Charlie, and they were betting on what they could look like.

“I bet they’re all white.”

“No way dude, Kettleburn said they only have like, skin!”

“Yeah, white skin.”

“That sounds gross,” Kelley laughed easily, but Charlie didn’t join her – he was staring at her instead, a slight knot in his brow.

“Charles, what’s up with you?”

“How come you never wanna hang out anymore?”

Charlie’s question took Kelley by surprise. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hang out with Charlie, but she had been spending more and more of her free time with Alex. It had been an unconscious switch, but when Kelley thought about it, she realized the reason that Charlie kept asking her to walk around grounds was probably because Kelley wasn’t putting in any effort to drag him into her old pranks or schemes.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. Of course I still want to hang out with you, I’ve just been busy. Let’s put Sonny’s mattress in the lake tomorrow before she wakes up.”

“So it’s not something I did?”

“No! Of course not. We’re good, I promise,” Kelley reassured. Charlie took in a deep breath and pushed his fiery hair out of his eyes, relief coming off of him in waves.

“Do you think Sonnett will fall off the mattress on her own, or will we have to push her in?”

Kelley’s jaw dropped in laughter and this time, Charlie did join in. As they walked step in step, conversation easy, Charlie reached over and took Kelley’s hand into his own.

Oh.

Maybe the whole ‘walk around grounds’ thing wasn’t really Kelley’s fault.

Charlie’s hand was warm and big and familiar.

Kelley let him keep it there and tried not to think too much of it.

***

Becky had been right about Kelley being a good beater.

Kelley had played chaser with a ferocity that easily carried over to the defensive side of the pitch, and between her and Becky, Gryffindor’s defense was not something to be taken lightly.

They were playing Ravenclaw toward the end of the semester, snow already coating the ground in a thin blanket and falling lightly over the pitch. Charlie had written her a note of good luck, and Kelley had ignored the uncomfortable twisting in her stomach that had been growing in intensity ever since Charlie had held her hand.

Sonnett was in the stands to cheer them on. She had claimed that she wouldn’t come, vowing not to support Kelley and Charlie after she woke up in the middle of the lake last week, but Kelley knew that the younger girl was a sucker for Quidditch matches. Tobin was there too, decked out in red and gold, and Kelley scowled slightly when she noted an older Gryffindor girl attached to her friend’s arm.

Christen was nowhere in sight.

Alex was in a lone red sweater in a sea of Ravenclaws that Kelley recognized as her own.

Kelley forced any outside thoughts out of her head when the whistle blew.

Within minutes, Kelley knew she was in the midst of the worst game of Quidditch she had possibly ever played.

The practiced swing she had been working on with Becky wouldn’t come, and every time Kelley wacked at a bludger, she reeled off balance – ruining any chance she had of hitting a target. She clenched her teeth and hit at the next one with more aggression – but that didn’t help her aim, and soon Becky flew over to her with annoyance written across her face.

“Kelley! What the hell are you aiming at out there?” The rare curse from Becky clued Kelley in to just how poorly she was performing.

“Sorry. Aim’s off today,” Kelley muttered, already searching for the next bludger to redeem herself.

“Well, get it back on! We need you!” Becky retorted, shooting off in pursuit of the bludger Kelley had hoped to hit next. And it was true, Ravenclaw was up by 40. Gryffindor’s chasers were young, the only veteran being McDonald, and were having trouble holding back the quick Ravenclaw team – Lindsey had scored four goals alone.

Kelley’s competitiveness was going straight to her head, and the pressure she had felt in the beginning of the year was starting to come back. She _had_ to help her team win this match – for some reason, Kelley felt like the outcome rested largely on her shoulders.

Servando had caught sight of the snitch.

The Ravenclaw boy rocketed right by Kelley, and as Kelley whirled around, she saw his arm already stretching out for the little golden ball. She searched wildly for Charlie, who was all the way on the other side of the pitch. Too far to stop Servando from ending the match with the Ravenclaws on top.

Kelley tracked down a bludger in the blink of an eye – it was hovering near the Ravenclaw keeper.

She shot toward it, getting her bat on it before the keeper could try and stop her.

The bludger shot toward Servando.

But it was just short – as the bludger sailed behind him, Servando’s fist closed around the snitch, and he raised his arm in triumph.

A shout of “Carrasco has caught the snitch! Ravenclaw wins!” was lost by Kelley when she met Becky’s disappointed eyes. She knew that if had been Becky in her position, the captain would’ve connected with Servando and that Gryffindor would still stand a chance.

Kelley’s heart beat in her ears and in her throat as she stepped off the pitch, frustrated tears prickling in her eyes. The locker room was largely silent, Becky not having much to say. The dejectedness of the team hung in the air heavily.

Charlie tried to approach her after, sympathy filling his eyes. Kelley couldn’t take it – she had let him down. She had let them all down.

There was only one place she could bear to be.

***

The small room on the seventh floor was almost as comforting as Kelley remembered it.

Almost.

To Kelley’s relief, the door had appeared instantly as she walked by the spot that was burned into her memory on the seventh floor. It was still there, even nearly a semester later.

The room was slightly larger, this time. The couch that Kelley remembered being built for one now was large enough for two people, and the fire glowed slightly brighter to fill the bigger space with just as much warmth.

It was late in the evening and Kelley was tired as she collapsed onto it, grateful for her escape from the outside world. From how she had let down her teammates.

But something was missing.

Or rather, _someone_.

Kelley wished Alex could be there with her. She knew the competitive Slytherin would know exactly what she was going through, and that her best friend would know exactly how to comfort her.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, there was a tug deep in Kelley’s heart. She looked around the room, wondering if she had made it up the foreign feeling.

She had decided she was slightly delusional when the door burst open.

“Kelley?”

“Alex?” Kelley turned to face the newcomer, and Alex had concern etched into the lines of her expression. “How did you know I was here?”

“I don’t know. I just had this feeling in my stomach that I had to get here as soon as possible,” Alex said, sitting next to Kelley on the couch. Her eyes widened as she realized what that meant. “Wait, is that because you wanted me here? Did the room know?”

Kelley’s cheeks burned.

Alex’s eyes glowed with something unreadable as she scooted closer to Kelley, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“I let everyone down today,” Kelley muttered softly. “I don’t know how to take it.”

“Hey, no,” Alex said as she tugged Kelley further into her embrace. Kelley let her, leaning into the Alex’s warmth, inhaling the familiar scent of vanilla perfume and lavender detergent.

Alex was still wearing her sweater.

Kelley didn’t even remember when she had taken it.

“It’s just Quidditch, Kelley. Just Quidditch. Just one match,” Alex reasoned softy into Kelley’s ear. And from anyone else, Kelley would’ve huffed in impatience, because Quidditch was _important_.

But this was Alex. Alex knew how important Quidditch was.

Yet her words rang with an unmistakable sincerity, and Kelley knew she meant them. In the long run, no matter how vital it seemed right now, it was _just_ Quidditch.

Alex’s hands were tracing patterns into the freckles of Kelley’s arms as she held her close, so close that Kelley could feel her heartbeat. And her hands were soft and her arms were strong and her hair was ticking Kelley’s neck and she was overwhelmed with the weight of Alex’s presence.

Overwhelmed with the knowledge that she could never get enough of it.

Kelley slowed her inhales, breath coming out a weary ghost of surrender, slowing letting her internal pressure dissipate into the warm room and into Alex’s unwavering embrace.

She knew how much she wanted to kiss Alex. The Alex she had come to know so much better over the past semester. The Alex who had so quickly become her rock.

Kelley was almost ready to face it.

***

The fell asleep like that – Alex leaning against the cushions, Kelley leaning against Alex, Alex’s arms keeping them tight together. When Kelley woke up, Alex’s nose was pressed to the back of Kelley’s neck and she had no idea how much time had passed.

As soon as she thought about it, a clock appeared on the wall, reading 2 in the morning.

Fuck.

Kelley’s friends would be scared out of her minds for her, undoubtedly trying to track her down after that disaster of a Quidditch game, only to find an empty dorm and empty common room. Kelley could imagine Sonnett’s nervous hands and Christen’s creased brow.

She slipped out of Alex’s arms, and the Slytherin stirred, shivering in the sudden absence of Kelley’s body heat. Her eyes drifted open, revealing a soft expression as she reached to brush Kelley’s hair out of her face.

“Kell, go back to sleep. You need it,” Alex said, her words sticking in her throat and coming out raspy. Kelley shook her head.

“My friends are gonna be worried sick. They’re probably still up. I have to head back,” she said softly, standing up from the couch. Alex nodded in understanding and stood up with her.

“I’ll go back, too,” she said. Her hand reached for Kelley’s to give it a reassuring squeeze, and Kelley’s stomach jumped to her throat.

Alex’s hand didn’t linger there, squeezing just once before dropping back to her side, but Kelley tried to read as far into it as she could.

***

It took them five whole minutes to get caught.

It was by Ali Krieger, of all people, the head girl not making a sound on her late-night patrol to warn the two fourth years of her presence. As Kelley and Alex rounded a corner, Ali was right there, waiting expectantly with a raised eyebrow.

“O’Hara! What are you doing out of bed?” She inquired, head tilted to the side. Kelley quite liked the older girl, and looked up to her as a beater, even if she was out of Quidditch for the rest of her time at Hogwarts. She withered under the disapproving look of one of her role models.

“We were just, uh, we were –” Kelley struggled to come up with a plausible lie for where she and Alex were at the ungodly hour. She looked at Alex for help, who appeared just as stumped as Kelley was.

As Ali took in the two younger girls, standing slightly too close together, her gaze softened a little.

“Hey, it’s okay. You know I’m going to have to give you detention for breaking curfew, but I’m not going to take points from either of your houses. It was a rough match today,” she said, and Kelley felt Alex bristle. She doubted the girl did well with getting detention from an older Gryffindor.

Before Alex could get in a sharp word and possibly land them in more trouble, Kelley spoke up.

“Thanks, Ali. We’re headed back to our dorms now, I promise.”

“Good. Stay out of trouble. I’ll make sure it’s McGonagall that decides your punishment,” Ali said with a nod toward the end of the hallway, prompting the girls to scurry away in their haste to get away from their prosecutor.

Ali was reminded of her and a certain Gryffindor keeper’s shenanigans from when they were 15. She smiled to herself before continuing her patrol.

***

Christen was the first to see it.

Granted, Tobin knew vaguely that Kelley had at once had a thing for Alex, but the topic had dropped out of conversation fairly quickly. Just about everyone with eyes had at once had a thing for Alex.

But Christen and Kelley watched the Slytherin Hufflepuff match together. Christen wasn’t wearing Hufflepuff colors, and Kelley guessed it was because Tobin was still being a clueless ass.

Kelley was wearing half Slytherin, half Hufflepuff in support of her friends. Christen’s eyes traced Kelley’s face as Kelley’s eyes traced Alex through the air. Kelley found Alex particularly stunning when she was playing Quidditch – her jaw always set in a firm angle, ponytail whipping in the wind, eyes blazing with intensity.

“You like her.”

The statement from Christen was spoken quietly so that no one could overhear, and it wasn’t a question. Kelley sighed. Could everyone tell she was into girls? And did they just say it whenever they felt like it?

But she didn’t fight it, either.

“Yeah, Chris. I think I do.”

***

Servando shouldn’t have been a surprise.

Kelley knew he existed. And in theory, she knew that he and Alex spent a lot of time together. She even knew Alex had at least a slight bit of interest in the older Ravenclaw.

But even still, Servando was a surprise.

When Kelley went to meet Alex at their normal table at the library, her stomach twisted in discomfort when she saw Alex already sat next to Servando. Her head was on his shoulder, and he looked like he had the entire world leaning against him.

Kelley supposed he did.

She backed out of the room before either of them could notice her.

Mistletoe went up in the Great Hall in honor of the quickly approaching holiday. Kelley avoided walking under it with Charlie, who she had been spending more and more time with in Alex’s increased absence.

Alex did not do the same with Servando.

It was early when Kelley entered the Great Hall on the last day of the first semester to meet up with Tobin. Her eyes were still blurry from sleep, but the scene in front of her was crystal clear.

She didn’t miss the hesitance in Servando’s posture when he leaned in to kiss Alex. Kelley could guess it was their first kiss.

She didn’t miss the way Alex’s eyes shot around the hall immediately after they broke apart, ultimately landing on Kelley.

She didn’t miss how unreadable the blue gaze was. Even after all the time they had spent together – Alex remained a mystery.

Later, Kelley shyly offered up her home to Alex for Christmas, knowing the Slytherin would be staying at Hogwarts otherwise.

Alex admitted softly that Servando had beaten her to it.

Kelley nodded and turned before any hurt could shine through her eyes.

She went home for Christmas, anyway, happy to see her family. She finally got a letter from Alex.

This time, it was Kelley who didn’t respond.

***

A week into the new year, and Tobin was driving Kelley nuts.

Kelley was on somewhat of an Alex detox. She and Servando were officially a _thing_ now, and Kelley could only take so much heartache.

So she had welcomed the chance to go the Hogsmeade with Christen, Tobin, and Charlie, happy to spend time as a group of four. With Christen and Tobin fighting way too often, and Kelley’s attention being taken up by Alex, the times they were all together had stretched few and far between last semester.

The stroll through the snow-covered streets of Hogsmeade was healing Kelley’s soul in a way that only her best friends could. Tobin and Christen were walking easily hand in hand, making Kelley assume that perhaps Tobin had finally gotten her shit together.

Kelley should’ve learned by now that was never a safe assumption.

The four of them walked into Honeydukes, welcoming the break from the incessant cold of the street. Charlie didn’t have any spare change to spend on sweets, but Kelley was happy to buy him a fizzing whizbee or two. She wandered off to a front room to look through the flavors, and Tobin joined her.

They were talking about Quidditch and their upcoming matches when a younger Hufflepuff entered the store, the little bell ringing with her presence. When Tobin caught sight of her, she looked up with alarm.

The Hufflepuff girl smiled brightly and sauntered toward Tobin, brushing her hand across Tobin’s arm. Tobin smiled nervously, eyes darting around, undoubtedly looking for Christen.

Kelley was uncharmed.

“Hey Tobin,” the girl practically purred, flipping bright blond hair out of her eyes. “Are we still on for next week?”

“Next week?” Kelley asked with a fair bit of annoyance. “As in, currently, this is a thing?”

The Hufflepuff (whose name Kelley definitely didn’t even know) looked at Kelley as if she had just noticed her, nodding easily at the question and stepping closer to Tobin to loop their arms together. Kelley glared at Tobin.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Kelley muttered. She peered into the main area of the store in time to see Christen storm out in anger. She could guess what she had been put off by.

She turned toward the Hufflepuff girl. “Hey, uh…”

“It’s Kristen.” Kelley rolled her eyes. Of course it was.

“Okay, Kristen, could you let me talk to my buddy Tobin alone for a little? Sorry, it’s just really pressing.” The girl shrugged easily, giving Tobin a quick peck on the cheek before ambling away.

Kelley threw a jelly slug at Tobin’s forehead. It bounced off with a dull _thunk_.

“Hey, what the fuck?”

“That’s the wrong Christen and we both know it,” Kelley said, not bothering to keep some of the anger out of her voice. Tobin shrunk a little at her tone.

“I’m just trying to figure things out.”

“Figure what out, Tobin? That you’ve liked the same girl since we were kids? That you kissed her last year and never did anything about it? That she’s obviously caught up on you and you just keep finding random girls to snog instead of asking her out? What is there to figure out, Tobin?” Tobin flinched some more, her eyebrows creasing. Kelley sighed and stared out into the street through a window fogged with warmth from the cozy shop.

“Take it from me, Tobin. If your girl likes you the way you like her, don’t wait until it’s too late.”

“Me and Chris are different. She’s my best friend. What if I fuck it up?”

“You’re fucking it up right now, man. Can’t you see how much you’re breaking her heart?” Kelley looked around until she saw Christen talking to Charlie, who had pursued the Ravenclaw, a few stores down. Her eyes would flit over to where Kelley and Tobin were standing every couple of seconds, lingering on Tobin. Tobin followed her gaze, staring at Christen unabashedly.

“What if I’m not ready?”

“That’s fine too. But these girls – they’re not making you ready. All they’re doing is driving you and Chris apart. Can’t you see that?” Tobin groaned and sat down, her back leaning against a shelf full of bubble gum.

“Then what should I do?”

“Just be her friend, for now. The time will come to take it to the next level – but for God’s sakes Tobs, don’t push her away and ruin your shot before you even take it.”

***

Servando’s presence persisted.

Kelley hated how much it tore her apart, seeing him and Alex walk hand in hand to each class they had together. She hated seeing Christen’s look of sympathy, and regretted the ones she had shot Christen when Tobin had been an oblivious ass.

Kelley spent more and more time with Charlie and sometimes Sonnett, the three of them thick as thieves in the approaching spring. Kelley had to be careful, because she and Alex already had upcoming detentions, but she still masterminded a prank during the Slytherin Ravenclaw match that ended with the Slytherins’ cheering being about five octaves higher, making them sound like an army of leprechauns.

Kelley could feel Alex’s eyes on her, and she looked up to see the girl grinning in amusement. Kelley grinned back before she caught herself, trying to force herself to look away.

She couldn’t. Alex still flew like a maelstrom, and it still filled Kelley with something inevitable.

She wished she had been successful in looking anywhere else when she saw Servando hug Alex as soon as he touched down, even after his team had lost.

In the stands, Charlie put his arm around Kelley, and Kelley let him, embracing the familiarity of her best friend.

***

McGonagall scheduled their detention with Professor Kettleburn in the woods.

Kelley suspected it was somewhat for her benefit after that horrible match first semester. She didn’t want the sympathy – but boy did Kelley love the woods.

And she was okay with the alone time with Alex. She figured they both needed it, the first part of the semester plagued with long stretches of time where the girls hardly spoke to each other, too caught up in their other lives. And the woods was the absolute best place to be with _anyone_.

She couldn’t keep the skip out of her step as she and Alex followed Kettleburn, who was holding a singular lantern. The air smelled fresh and clean after the morning rain and the warmth of spring radiated in the dark shadows, illuminated by the glow of the moon.

Alex rolled her eyes.

“Kell, I’ve never seen anyone look so thrilled about detention,” she said, and Kelley beamed at her. Alex winced when she stepped in something sticky. “Or the woods, for that matter.”

“Aw, come on Al, the woods are barely detention. It’s an _adventure_ ,” she said happily, bouncing easily from foot to foot as they walked too slowly for Kelley’s taste. And the moon wasn’t bright, but Kelley could swear that Alex was looking at her with soft admiration.

“Alright girls, here we are. We need to move all of these logs off the river, because they’re blocking up the stream. And if the stream is blocked, the murtlaps have nowhere to go. But don’t crush the plimpies while you’re at it. Got it?”

Alex and Kelley nodded their understanding, and Kettleburn moved further up the stream to get to the higher stacked logs, muttering incantations to start pulling them off the precarious stack, one by one. Kelley had a feeling their eccentric professor could really care less whether the two girls helped her with her task.

Alex had already started, focused as ever, wand raised high and eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she cautiously moved the logs away from the slow trickling stream. Kelley tugged on her sleeve.

“Alex. Let’s go exploring,” she said eagerly, itching to see what lay beyond the dense woods that were blocking her view. She swore she had heard a centaur earlier. Alex looked at her with shock.

“Here? No way Kell, it’s too dangerous,” she whispered, carefully setting down the log she was currently levitating. Kelley frowned.

“If you’re not coming, I’m going alone.”

“Kelley, come on.”

“Lex.”

The girls stared each other down silently, Kelley willing her eyes to beg Alex to come along, Alex stubbornly refusing to leave a task unfinished in favor of a dangerous escapade.

It was Kelley (and the threat on Kelley’s safety) that ultimately won out.

“Fine Kelley. Ten minutes, and that’s _it_.”

Kelley took ahold of Alex’s hand and pulled her deeper into the shadows of the forest.

***

It was darker than Kelley had thought it was going to be.

Even with the light from both of their wands, Kelley could hardly see three feet in front of her, and she missed the illumination from Kettleburn’s lantern.

But even still, Kelley listened hard for any sounds of wildlife. She was excited at the prospect of discovering something that they hadn’t learned in Care of Magical Creatures, one of the beasts coming alive from her and Charlie’s well-worn books.

Alex’s breath trembled slightly beside her. That clued Kelley into the fact that she should be a little more scared than she was.

What clued her in next was much more jarring.

Kelley wasn’t afraid of very many things. She prided herself in it, really, the way she fearlessly approached life.

Kelley was, in fact, afraid of fifteen feet tall spiders.

It didn’t take her long to figure the fact out, actually. The second the spider came into view, Kelley knew for certain that she was scared of it. The pinchers, the beady black eyes, the fangs – all of it was absolutely terrifying.

Alex squeaked.

The spider turned toward them. It loomed even bigger in the low light of the moon, its eyes tracing over Alex and Kelley. Kelley stepped in front of Alex instinctively, her wand raised even as her hand shook.

Kelley knew, in the back of her head, that it was an acromantula. She wracked her brain for something, anything from her books that would help her and Alex survive this encounter. But Alex’s grip was deathly tight on her arm and blood and fear were both pounding in her ears, and she was finding it very hard to think.

The spider charged toward them with an eerie, human like scream.

Kelley threw Alex out of the way before tumbling after her, and the spider barreled past both of them. Alex sprung to her feet, eyes wild, wand at the ready. Kelley laid a warning hand on her arm to let her know silently not to move, not to make sound.

The spider lumbered around where it had screeched to a halt, only a few yards away.

_Come on Kelley, think,_ Kelley told herself. What would beat an acromantula? Nothing was invincible, no matter how huge or terrifying. It had to have a weakness.

It came to Kelley a few moments later.

She leaned in close to Alex.

“Don’t move,” she whispered, barely making a sound through gritted teeth. Alex gave a tiny nod, and Kelley only hoped she would keep her word after seeing what Kelley was about to do.

Kelley sprinted as hard as she could away from Alex, yelling out as she did so.

“Hey, spidey! Come and get me!”

Alex gasped, but it wasn’t nearly enough to divert the spider’s attention, which was now solely focused on its moving target. It snarled, spinning to face where Kelley had stopped, her wand at the ready. She braced herself for its charge.

Kelley wasn’t quick enough.

As she raised her wand to cast the incantation, one of the spider’s front legs hit her so hard that she was sent flying through the air, ultimately smashing hard into a tree and sliding to the ground, dazed. Alex screamed. Kelley’s back throbbed.

The spider barreled toward her. Her vision was swimming, but she knew Alex was running with it, trying to put herself in between Kelley and the monster. Kelley knew she wouldn’t be fast enough. Not this time.

Kelley wondered if Alex realized it too.

Kelley raised her wand and flicked it with such force that it nearly flew from her hand. She didn’t have the strength to mutter the incantation, but she prayed against all hope that it would work anyway.

And there it was.

An enormous basilisk had appeared in front of Kelley, glowing green and even bigger than the spider, the part of its body that was off the ground reaching at least twenty feet.

It wasn’t real, the basilisk. It was a mirage, an image, a charm Kelley could pull off in her sleep. Or under a lot of pressure. Which was good, considering the circumstances.

Kelley was terrified of giant spiders, but giant spiders were terrified of basilisks.

The spider stopped its forward motion so quickly that it tore up part of the ground as its legs dug wildly into the ground. It scrambled backward, the false snake rearing its head threateningly, and scampered off into the woods.

Kelley let herself collapse into a heap against the tree, the snake fading out as her wand hand dropped.

Alex was at her side in a second.

“Kelley, Kelley, Kelley,” she breathed, her hands on Kelley’s shoulders, then her arms, her neck, her face. She sat down and pulled Kelley to her, her face pressed into Kelley’s neck, shaking with silent sobs.

“I’m okay. Alex, I’m okay,” Kelley tried to soothe, but her voice was shaky and lacking the strength she needed. “Alex. It’s okay.”

“Kelley, I thought – I thought it was too late,” she choked out. “I thought you were gonna – I thought it was gonna –“ Alex couldn’t finish the thought, her voice cracking as her throat closed off her words.

“Alex,” Kelley breathed, and Alex sobbed in response. Kelley’s hands stroked up and down Alex’s back as her breathing calmed down, slowly becoming less erratic.

“You’ve saved my ass like, three times. I had to save it myself once,” Kelley joked, and Alex laughed weakly through her tears, squeezing Kelley tighter as if she couldn’t bear to let go. Kelley let her for a few minutes, the moment thick with unspoken emotion. Kelley stared up at the trees and tried not to think about Alex’s heavy presence in the dark forest.

“We have to go,” Kelley said, shaking Alex off so that they could start to head back toward the stream. Alex moved slowly so that she was hovering over Kelley, eyes searching Kelley’s body for any physical sign of injuries.

When Alex’s eyes made it to her face, Kelley’s breath caught in her throat.

They shone with something so intense that Kelley could hardly meet Alex’s gaze. Alex’s hands were on either side of Kelley’s head, and her hair was falling around both of them in a curtain.

Before Kelley could stumble through a bad joke to cover up how much she _wanted_ , Alex leaned down and captured her bottom lip between her own.

Kelley stopped breathing all together.

It only lasted a second, but Alex’s lips were soft and full, and Kelley leaned up to return the kiss for a moment before Alex pulled away. Kelley stared and Alex traced her hand down Kelley’s face, along a random line of freckles. Kelley wiped at Alex’s eyes and smiled softly.

Later that night, after they had made their way back to Kettleburn (who hadn’t noticed the girls prolonged absence or how shaky either of them were on their return) and back to their dorms, Kelley felt a pull in her heart to the seventh floor.

She followed it immediately, the threat of detention not nearly as scary as it had been just a night before.

Alex was there, waiting for her, eyes still red a puffy from crying. Kelley slid wordlessly onto the couch, _their_ couch, and opened her arms for Alex to crawl into, her head on Kelley’s chest and arms wrapped around her waist.

They stayed like that well into the hours of the next morning.

***

Alex never mentioned the kiss.

At times, Kelley wondered if she had imagined the entire thing, her fingers tracing over her lips as she tried desperately to remember the feeling of the Slytherin’s against her own.

And even though Alex looked at her with bright eyes, and her hands found Kelley’s skin often and without reason, Alex still kissed Servando before every Quidditch game.

She must have been caught up in the moment.

Kelley tried to ignore the way her heart cascaded in a silent waterfall every time she saw Alex, knowing that she wasn’t hers.

She still went to the seventh floor every time she felt that pull.

But she stopped meeting Alex in the library, and avoided her eyes in Charms. She failed the next Transfiguration assignment, but she figured it was a small price to pay to keep her heart somewhat whole.

***

Charlie, Kelley decided, was some sort of Christ figure.

The morning after the detention incident, he found Kelley curled up in a ball in the chair tucked away from view in the common room, eyes vacant and red.

He brought her a cup of tea and sat with her, reading to her from a book about centaurs, and she let his hand stay on her knee.

He was good, and he was familiar, and he cared for her. His eyes were a shade of blue off, sure, but Kelley adored his fiery hair and his lopsided grin that matched hers whenever they pulled off an especially good prank.

Kelley knew that he liked her. She had known since last year, and she had tucked that information away for later, dodging it and making excuses.

Kelley figured that maybe it was time to stop making excuses, and she smiled easily at Charlie when he rubbed her knee softly.

***

The first Gryffindor Slytherin Quidditch match rolled around a couple of weeks later.

Kelley had been playing impeccably that semester, and she and Becky made a defensive line that was nearly unbeatable.

Kelley had slowly begun to talk to Alex again. It was selfish, really, to brush off Alex in the way that she had – Kelley knew full well that she was the only one that really understood what Alex had been through.

It was rough, and awkward, both of them dancing around something that was unavoidable and hung heavy around them. But they tried. And Alex tried, and smiled, and reached for Kelley in any way she could.

That didn’t make Servando’s presence any more bearable.

And Servando was so _nice_ , all wide smiles and kind words. And Alex doted on him, and struggle as she might, Kelley couldn’t find one reason to dislike him.

Until the Gryffindor Slytherin game.

Alex only scored twice.

Kelley couldn’t remember a single game where Alex had scored less than four times. What was even more concerning was the way Alex didn’t seem phased by her below average performance. She had no drive to get to the hoop, even when she had clear lanes. Kelley never had to even aim a bludger at her.

Slytherin won, but not because of their chasers. They were down by 30 when the Slytherin chaser made a dirty play and nearly knocked Charlie off his broom, ending up with the snitch in a move that probably should’ve been illegal.

Kelley caught up with Alex after the game as she came out of the locker rooms.

“Hey Al. Rough game, huh?” Kelley asked as Alex sat in the bleachers next to her, facing the empty pitch. Alex gave her half a nod.

“Well, we won, so I wouldn’t say that.”

“You know what I’m talking about.” Alex sighed wearily, playing with her hands.

“Serv says I don’t pass the quaffle enough,” she said quietly, staring down at the bleachers. Kelley stared at her.

“He says _what_?”

“I mean, I’ve been average above sixty, which is kind of ridiculous, so he’s probably right,” she muttered. “I have to learn how to be more of a team player.”

“ _Alex_. Servando is just jealous because he’s only caught the snitch once this year after I fucked up, and you’re the best chaser this school has ever seen,” Kelley said adamantly, leaning forward to catch Alex’s eyes. “If you take more shots, Slytherin scores more goals. It’s as simple as that.”

“Don’t talk about Serv that way.”

“Dude, are you fucking kidding me?” Kelley gaped at Alex, whose brow had formed a hard line.

“No. You don’t even know him, so don’t make gross assumptions about him,” Alex snapped, standing up to walk away. “He’s not jealous. He wants what’s best for me.” Kelley put her hands in the air in surrender.

“Fine. I won’t. But shoot the damn ball, Alex. Don’t change your game over some boy.”

“He’s not some boy, he’s my boyfriend, whether you like it or not,” Alex shot back, and Kelley’s ears burned and her chest filled with something hot and angry. Something that they never talked about.

“Yeah, so go take his opinion over mine. See if I care,” Kelley snarled.

“I think I will.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Alex stalked away angrily as Kelley tried desperately to fight off the tears burning in her eyes.

The next day, Servando and Alex were fighting in the Great Hall when Kelley walked in holding Charlie’s hand.

***

Charlie took her on a date to Hogsmeade.

Sonnett squealed in excitement when she heard, muttering a ‘finally!’ and squeezing Kelley tight. Kelley pretended she didn’t hear the crack in her voice or see the longing look on her face when Charlie appeared, looking dashing in a black shirt and jeans, his eyes impossibly blue.

They ended up at the Three Broomsticks, but not before running into Christen and Tobin.

Christen and Tobin, who were also on a date.

Now that was something Kelley could get behind.

Tobin grinned happily when she noticed Kelley and Charlie holding hands. But Christen looked at her with the same pained sympathy she had when she had seen Alex with Servando.

Kelley looked away.

She tried not to think of that time last year, when Tobin had told her about her date with that Hufflepuff boy. She tried not to think about how she described the kiss – ‘kind of scratchy.’

Because Charlie’s lips were warm, and his smile was nice, but his face was kind of scratchy.

Alex’s face had been so, so smooth.

But Kelley figured she could look past the scratchiness, for Charlie. Because Charlie had great hair, and Charlie loved animals, and Charlie could always make her laugh, and Charlie liked her. Kelley had a whole list of reasons why Charlie was going to be a great boyfriend, and she used them to support her ‘yes’ when Charlie asked if they could be official. It had been a year coming, anyway.

She repeated the list to herself over and over as they walked back from Hogsmeade, Charlie’s hand in hers and a giant grin on his face, as if he had just conquered the world.

***

On the last day of school, Kelley’s heart tugged her up to the seventh floor.

When she got there, instead of a couch and a fire, there was simply a chair with Alex in it and a chair without Alex in it.

Kelley sat down on the latter.

Alex’s eyes were red and her hair was a mess. Alex’s hair was rarely a mess.

She was still breathtaking.

Kelley couldn’t see the box in Alex’s hand, hidden behind her back. She didn’t notice Alex tapping at her thighs, the way she did when she was nervous.

“Hey Kell,” Alex said. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Me first,” Kelley said, knowing that she and Alex had been weird since that detention, and that her news would be a big step toward fixing it. “Charlie asked me out last week.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “And?”

“And?”

“Did you say yes?”

“Of course I did, Al.”

“Oh.” Kelley didn’t see Alex shift so that she could slip the box into her back pocket. She tried to pretend she didn’t see the way Alex’s face fell. Kelley could only take so much false hope.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me you liked him.”

“I mean, you never told me you liked Servando.”

“Yeah. We broke up.”

“What?” Kelley stared and Alex sniffled, but neither of them reached out for the other.

“I think you were right. He was just – it wasn’t going to work out.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“But hey, you’re Alex Morgan. There’s like, the entire rest of the school for you to pick from,” Kelley joked, but she knew it fell flat. Alex tried to laugh a little anyway.

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe.”

"I heard Freeman is into you. That’s definitely a smile you could go for.”

“Kelley, please stop talking.”

And so Kelley fell silent, unsure of what to do with her hands, which ended up wringing together uncertainly. It was getting closer and closer to when they had to leave for the train, and Kelley glanced at the clock wearily.

“Al, I’m really sorry, but I have to get going. You do too,” Kelley said after a few minutes. Alex nodded.

“You go ahead. All my stuff’s all ready to go to Lindsey's,” Alex said. Kelley got up, headed toward the door, stopped, turned, and held her arms out. Alex stepped toward her, gratefully accepting the embrace, letting it linger for a beat too long.

After Kelley had left, Alex stayed in her chair. She pulled the box out of her pocket and stared at the small, gold, four leaf clover that dangled from a delicate chain.

Maybe next year, she would have better luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait, I got kinda busy
> 
> thank you for every single kind comment, as a very, very new writer they lift me up more than you guys know


	5. year five part 1

Charlie came to visit Kelley at the end of the summer after their fourth year.

Charlie proudly introduced himself as Kelley’s boyfriend, all broad shoulders and a friendly grin stretched across his face, giving Kelley’s dad a very firm, acceptable handshake. And Kelley was happy with the way her parents beamed at his perfect manners, the way her brother gave her a discreet thumbs up, and the way her sister pulled her aside to say, “Kelley, he’s _cute._ ”

She could imagine how introducing a dashing, charming boy to her Irish Catholic parents could be easier than introducing any girl.

They weren’t allowed to sleep in the same room, and Kelley found herself thankful for that. Her sister flashed her a knowing grin when her parents announced they had made up the guest room for Charlie.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off those abs either,” she whispered later. She misunderstood the blush that crept across Kelley’s face and laughed loudly with a wink.

That night, Charlie took Kelley out on a date. He dressed in a black button down with the sleeves rolled up (Kelley’s sister’s eyes lingered on the veins wrapping around his forearms), and Kelley wore a simple red dress that flowed easily around her frame, showing off the freckles across her shoulders.

She knew how good they looked as they walked hand in hand down the streets of her small Irish town. Kelley got approving nods from the people she had grown up with – she knew Charlie, with his easy smile and relaxed, confident attitude looked like the _perfect_ boy for her.

She just wished she was as sure as they were.

She found that she was most comfortable when she didn’t think that hard. Charlie was still her best friend, and conversation between them was still easy and kept them both laughing – even if it was over dinner at a fancy new restaurant instead of just in the comfort of the Gryffindor common room. It was when the word danced across her thoughts – _boyfriend_ – or when Charlie leaned in for a quick peck – that her stomach lurched uncomfortably.

It wasn’t until the third and last day that Kelley got _really_ uncomfortable.

She had driven them to an ice cream place to celebrate the owl that had come to announce that Charlie had been named prefect. Kelley had found it _hilarious_ – to her, Charlie was a goofball and a sidekick for her many pranks, and imagining him as prefect made her poke at his sides and laugh uncontrollably at his grumbled, “I _can_ be professional, you know.”

So they had gotten ice cream at the little ice cream parlor, Kelley showing off her new driver’s license and how a car worked to a bewildered Charlie, when Charlie asked if they could pull over in an empty parking lot that was tucked away behind a closed off building.

Kelley had looked at him in confusion. He just nudged her and flashed his charming grin. So she rolled into the gravel parking lot slowly, parking the car and turning the lights off.

“Charlie, you do know there’s nothing here, right?”

Charlie didn’t answer her question. Instead, he leaned in, cupping her face with his hand, and kissed her.

And Kelley had kissed Charlie before, but she knew immediately this was different. He was closer than all the other times, and the hand that wasn’t on her face was on her knee, big and warm.

She didn’t mind kissing Charlie. He wasn’t a bad kisser by any means, even if his face was always scratchy. On this particular night, he tasted like mocha chocolate chip ice cream.

She just wished she _felt_ a little more when she did it.

She tried not to remember how much she had felt when Alex had kissed her.

Charlie leaned in even closer. Kelley had to think to bring her hand up to his jaw.

Suddenly, his tongue was on her bottom lip.

She wasn’t thinking when she jerked away.

She didn’t mean to, really, and she knew that they were sixteen now and kissing was inevitably going to involve tongue. But the feeling of Charlie licking across her lip had been so foreign and so _intimate_ , and she just didn’t feel like she could connect that with her best friend.

Her best friend, who looked scared in her passenger seat, bathed in the low light of the evening.

“Kells, I’m so sorry. Did I go too far?” Charlie asked nervously. He brushed his hair out of his eyes and reached for her hand.

“No, no it’s fine. I was just surprised, that’s all,” Kelley reassured, a somewhat forced smile painted on her face.

And she had been surprised, but now that she wasn’t, she could push the tight feeling in her throat down and focus on the boy she was supposed to be starry eyed over. She thought about her family, and how much they loved him, and how much she enjoyed Charlie’s company and goofy grin, and what was supposed to be the inevitability of the two of them.

She thought about how Alex was definitely _not_ into her (or girls, for that matter), and swallowed thickly.

When Charlie leaned back in, Kelley was thankful for the small compartment separating them.

***

Christen had also been made a prefect, which was a surprise to no one.

She and Tobin arrived hand in hand to the train station, and Kelley had never seen anyone look as happy as Tobin did. Her smile took up the entire lower half of her face, and she practically swooned every time she looked over at the girl by her side. And every time Tobin pushed her sun-streaked hair behind her ears, Christen’s eyes followed the movement, dancing with adoration.

Kelley rolled her eyes at the mush and wondered why it had taken Tobin so long to figure out what made her happy.

Then Charlie kissed her on the cheek before he departed to the prefect compartment, and Kelley told herself that they were just as good – just as happy – as Christen and Tobin.

But then again, Kelley thought, maybe no one could be as good as Christen and Tobin. It was a high standard, if Tobin kept grinning in the way she did as she and Kelley headed to their compartment – emptier than usual, due to the fact Charlie and Christen had to ride with the prefects now.

“Dude, we get it, you’re in love,” Kelley teased the taller girl, who groaned loudly.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Ask that ridiculous smile that hasn’t your left you face.” Tobin’s blush spread down to her neck.

“She’s really turning me soft, Kell.”

“Oh please. You were always soft,” Kelley pointed out, and Tobin elbowed her playfully.

“Call me soft again next time we’re on the Quidditch pitch and we’ll see what happens.”

“I’m willing to take that chance, considering _I’m_ the one with a bat.”

“Touché.”

And Tobin was obnoxiously in love, and Kelley was happy for her, she really was.

She just wished she had it all figured out too.

The two were passing the time by coming up with a new handshake (Kelley had insisted that their current one was too short, standing at only 45 seconds) when Kelley heard two familiar voices.

“I don’t know, Al. Maybe you should just move on.”

“You think I haven’t tried?”

Kelley recognized Alex’s voice in a heartbeat.

(Not that she was waiting for her. Not at all).

She knew the other voice was Morgan, and they were headed down the train passage, past Kelley and Tobin’s compartment. She wondered if they were talking about Servando still, if Alex was still caught up on him, and her heart ached all over again.

But Alex was still her best friend. Who she had missed terribly over the summer.

(Best friend. _Only_ her best friend.)

“Alex!” She called out, slamming the door open. Alex whipped around, and an obnoxious grin took over her face.

An obnoxious grin that looked an awful lot like the one Tobin had been wearing all day. Not that Kelley thought to compare them.

“Kell!” Alex squealed, dropping her luggage in favor of throwing her arms around the smaller girl. Kelley inhaled the scent of vanilla and squeezed back and tried not to think.

“Morgan!” Morgan said irritably, pointing out the fact that Kelley hadn’t greeted her. Kelley laughed pulled the other girl into an equally tight hug.

“Hey, Charlie’s not here because he’s a fancy ass prefect now, so do you guys wanna sit with me and Tobin and maybe Sonnett?” Kelley asked once she broke away. She knew Alex and Charlie, despite her and Alex’s closeness, had never gotten to the point where they were super friendly. Tolerance was there, sure, but so was an animosity that had never quite disappeared.

“Sorry bud, but I’m a fancy ass prefect now too,” Alex said glumly.

(Bud. Bud, as in buddy. Platonic. Only platonic.)

Kelley wrinkled her nose.

“If any of you ever try and give me detention, we’re going to have a serious problem.”

“The _second_ I see a four-leaf clover _anywhere_ , I’m reporting you to Professor Snape,” Alex teased. Kelley lit up at that.

“Is that a challenge, Morgan?” She asked, suddenly remembering vividly all the shenanigans she had pulled as a second year.

Alex raised a single, perfect eyebrow.

She leaned in slightly closer, her vanilla perfume once again invading Kelley’s senses, to say: “You bet, O’Hara.”

Kelley felt something hot and tight and new curl in her stomach. She stared at Alex, for once at a loss for words, as the Slytherin smirked slightly and ran a finger down Kelley’s arm as she turned away to pick up her luggage.

Morgan stared at the two of them with something (frustration? exasperation?) in her eyes.

Kelley ducked back into the compartment with her heart still beating too fast.

***

Sonnett was planning on trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team again. Becky had graduated the year before, and Kelley and the others were actively looking for a new beater.

Kelley was ecstatic at the prospect of Sonnett being her partner on the pitch.

The year was looking to fall perfectly into place. Kelley would be on the Quidditch pitch with her best friend on one side, her boyfriend on the other – by all logic, Kelley should have felt untouchable.

Forcing down her growing feelings for Alex was getting harder and harder.

The Slytherin wasn’t dating anyone new, which was somewhat baffling to Kelley. She had seen boys of all ages – cute boys, at that – trying to woo her constantly. At the present moment, it was after the feast, and Alex had been adamant that she and Kelley catch up after a long summer apart. They had agreed on the Slytherin common room (despite Kelley’s many protests).

They were walking through stone passageway. Kelley had told Alex about her sister’s not-so-subtle crush on her boyfriend, and Alex’s laugh reverberated loud and true in the dimly lit halls, making them feel brighter.

Kelley didn’t miss the way Alex had grown over the summer. She wasn’t much taller, but she had _matured_ : Kelley’s cheeks burned when Alex caught her eyes after they had flicked over the taller girl’s body, taking in tanned skin and toned muscle and long, long legs. Alex raised a single, pointed eyebrow, just like the she had on the train. And Kelley’s stomach knotted in the exact same way.

The knot that was _different_ than anything Kelley had felt before. It shot through her and made her blood flow faster, right between her legs.

She hoped against all hope that Alex couldn’t tell.

And as Kelley was listening actively to Alex’s account of her summer spent at Lindsey’s ( _so_ much Quidditch), she tried to focus on the story, but Alex’s voice was raspy coming off her tongue and her hair was falling into her eyes in a distracting way. It took all of Kelley’s willpower not to stare.

She had to stop before she got in too deep.

She was vaguely aware of approaching footsteps as they were walking, coming from behind them. She didn’t think much of it, assuming it was a student hurrying to get to the Slytherin common room.

She was much more aware of the presence when a male figure cut her off so abruptly that she almost ran into him. She muttered a ‘fuck, dude,’ - which he didn’t seem to even register. Alex looked back at her with annoyance already dancing in her eyes.

“Hey Alex! How was your summer?” The boy said cheerily, completely interrupting Alex’s quidditch story. Kelley tried to push back around the boy, but she might as well have been an irritating fly. She poked him in the back twice ( _twice!_ ), and all he did was lean in toward Alex, as if she should be _interested_ in him.

Alex had clearly gone into her cold and aloof mode – something Kelley witnessed so rarely these days, but brought back memories of first and second year.

“It was good, Marcus, but you just - ”

“Glad to hear it! I was just wondering if you would maybe want to go to the Three Broomsticks with me this weekend. I think we could have a great time, if you get my drift,” The boy – _Marcus_ – said, winking at Alex. Kelley mimed gagging when Alex looked back at her in disbelief, making her giggle.

Marcus seemed to think Alex was giggling because of him, though. He grinned widely (his teeth were whack, Kelley observed), and leaned in even closer to Alex.

“Is that a yes, beautiful?”

Kelley scoffed and stepped on the back of his heels a couple times, just for good measure.

When his loafer popped off his foot, Kelley finally gained his attention.

“Hey, could you cut it the fuck out? Can’t you tell I’m trying to have a conversation?” Marcus bit out, whirling around to face Kelley, his spit flying to land on her face. Kelley wiped it off slowly and dramatically. Was this guy serious?

Alex beat her to the question.

“Are you actually serious, Flint? Don’t you dare talk to her that way,” Alex seethed as she stepped into Marcus’s face. Kelley couldn’t remember the last time she had seen Alex so angry – smoke was coming out of her ears, and her brow was furrowed dangerously. Marcus’s face contorted into an ugly sneer.

“I was trying to ask you out on a date. She was being rude.”

“You’re being rude, not her.”

“Yeah, and Alex isn’t yours to call ‘beautiful,’” Kelley muttered without thinking. She cringed the second she said it, recognizing the jealous ring to the words. She glanced over at Alex, who was looking at her intently with something unreadable in her eyes.

Marcus’s sneer somehow got even bigger.

“Oh, I get it now. You guys are _dykes_ ,” he spit.

Kelley reeled back at the vulgarity and pure hate that laced his tone.

She had never felt so small.

Alex, on the other, hand, seemed to grow larger and more intimidating at the slur, bristling and with fire radiating off of her. If Kelley had thought she seemed angry before, it was nothing compared to what she looked like now.

Alex took a threatening step toward Marcus, reaching into her back pocket for her wand. Kelley knew Alex well enough to know Marcus wouldn’t escape unscathed if she didn’t intervene.

She snatched Alex’s wand from her back pocket before Alex could get to it.

(Kelley had a flashback to their first year, of Alex doing the exact same thing. She wondered how they had come full circle).

She also grabbed Alex’s wrist to tug her away from the escalating situation – well, more like drag. She held her death grip around the Slytherin’s wrist as she yanked her down the hallway, toward the common room.

“Come on, Alex. He’s not worth it,” she gritted out. She hated how broken her voice sounded. Alex’s eyes bored into her as she turned to face Kelley, and they turned impossibly harder.

“Give me my wand back so I can hex the life out of him,” Alex growled. Kelley winced at how _offended_ Alex was over the insult. As if it hadn’t stung Kelley enough, Alex apparently couldn’t bear being called _that._

“I’ll see you at Quidditch practice, Morgan!” Marcus called out from the end of the hallway. Alex struggled against Kelley’s grip again, and Kelley wrapped both her arms around Alex’s waist and basically carried her the rest of the way to the Slytherin common room.

Once they reached the tall stone door, Kelley set Alex down and muttered out the password. She shoved Alex in the second the door cracked open, aware that Alex might still try and pursue Marcus, even without a wand.

The door closed behind them and Kelley sat down on the black couch closest to the emerald fire, placing Alex’s wand carefully on the end table. She raised an eyebrow at Alex.

“What the fuck was that?”

Alex started pacing in front of Kelley, the anger still outlined in her features.

“I just can’t believe he would say something like that – so rude, so ignorant, so – ” Alex didn’t seem to have words for how disgusted she was. She ran her hands through her hair and kept pacing.

“Yeah. I guess I can see why you wouldn’t want to be called that,” Kelley said quietly. She felt so small, and her heart was aching for what felt like the hundredth time. _Of course_ Alex would be set off by someone even _thinking_ that she might be into girls. She wished Alex would have the tact to not be so blatant about it, given she at least had an inkling about Kelley’s sexuality.

Alex blinked at her in confusion.

“What?”

“You know, that word. You clearly take a lot of offense to it,” Kelley pointed out. She wasn’t angry, just defeated.

“Well, yeah. He had no right to say anything like that.”

“Because you’re straight.”

“I – what? What does my sexuality have to do with anything?”

“Forget it, Alex,” Kelley said tiredly. Alex stepped closer to where she was sitting, her eyes a clear blue in the light of the fire, which outlined the sharpness in her cheeks. Kelley tried not to notice.

It was getting harder not to.

“Kelley,” she whispered. She was so close that Kelley could see the crease on her nose. She tried not to look up to meet her searching gaze.

Kelley breathed in deep and shut her thoughts off.

“I just, there are worse things you could be called, okay? Being _that_ isn’t the end of the world,” Kelley explained. Alex’s eyes softened.

“I know. I know, Kell. That’s not what I meant _at all_.” Alex hadn’t moved any further, but stayed just as close. Kelley had a sudden flashback to that time last semester, Alex leaning down, Alex’s lips on her own –

Kelley cleared her throat.

“I should probably go, actually. I know Charlie wants to discuss potential new members of the team before tryouts,” she said. At the mention of her boyfriend, Alex shot back as if someone had touched an electric pole to her. She looked sheepishly at Kelley.

“I thought we were going to hang out here for a bit?”

“Another time. I’m just shot,” Kelley said. Alex reached for her hands, worry filling her gaze, but Kelley looked away and opted instead to hand her her wand while staring at her shoelaces (untied, as always).

“I’ll see you, Al.”

With that, Kelley left.

She didn’t look back. She figured it was about time to stop doing that.

***

Quidditch tryouts cleared Kelley’s head in a way nothing else could.

Before they started, Kelley was up early to get breakfast with Charlie. She wanted to invite Sonnett, too, but knew that it would be seen as a conflict of interest. Instead, they ate with Tobin and Christen – putting Kelley’s heart at ease.

At breakfast, Kelley learned that Christen was planning on trying out for the Ravenclaw quidditch team – unexpectedly, because Kelley hadn’t seen Christen fly much since second year.

“Have you been practicing at all?” Kelley asked around a mouthful of toast. Christen smiled shyly.

“Yeah, Tobin and I flew a lot over the summer when she came to visit,” she admitted. Kelley wiggled her eyebrows at the both of them as Tobin blushed and squeezed Christen’s hand.

“I sense a quidditch power couple in the making,” she proclaimed. Charlie threw her a lopsided grin.

“Yeah, maybe one day they’ll catch up to us, huh?”

Kelley toast suddenly felt thicker in her throat. She forced it down with a swallow in order to return Charlie’s smile.

“Maybe, Charles.”

Charlie placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

She tried to ignore Christen’s eyes boring into her.

On the Quidditch pitch, Kelley was much more centered.

Sonnett showed up looking pale a nervous, but the bat in her hand rested naturally against her shoulder. And she flew better than 90% of the other kids that had shown up.

But what really set her apart was how well she worked with Kelley.

Kelley knew Sonnett so well that she didn’t even have to look for the other girl to know what her next move was going to be. The two girls tag-teamed the bludgers in a way that Kelley and Becky had never quite connected enough to do – and although Sonnett was admittedly less skilled than the recently graduated captain, she and Kelley controlled the pitch just as well, if not better, than Kelley had ever in her past.

When the tryouts were over, Kelley had a shit-eating grin spread across her face.

Sonnett, on the other hand, stayed quiet as they walked back to the common room together. Kelley nudged her gently.

“Hey, you did really great today. I don’t think you have to worry about making the team.”

Sonnett looked at her in disbelief.

“Really? Didn’t you see me hit that bludger way off target at the end of practice? Or did you see me lose focus like, ten minutes in and miss an important play? Or did you - ”

“Woah, woah, hey,” Kelley cut off Sonnett’s self-deprecating speech, placing a hand on her elbow to slow the younger girl’s brisk walk. “You can’t be so hard on yourself, Son.”

Sonnett sighed. “I don’t know how.”

“Listen, bud – I’ve never felt more effective as a beater than I did today. And that’s because of you. Couldn’t you feel how great of a team we made? We shut down the offense completely and it was because of _us._ Not me, Son. _Us._ ”

Kelley hoped her words were getting through to the younger beater, and judging by the look of relief on her face, she guessed they had. Sonnett smiled gratefully and leaned into Kelley’s arm when the freckled beater threw it around her shoulder.

“Dang Kelley. Look at you being inspiring and shit. They should’ve made you captain instead of Harris.”

“Shut it. I have to deal with you way more often now that you’re on my team.”

“You really think I’m gonna make it?”

“Don’t tell anyone – but yeah, yeah I do. And I can’t wait for the rest of the season.”

“Promise you won’t ignore me at practice to flirt with your boyfriend?”

Kelley threw her head back and laughed at that.

“I promise, Sonny, you don’t have to worry about that.”

***

Sure enough, Sonnett secured her spot on the Gryffindor quidditch team the next week.

Christen also made the Ravenclaw quidditch team.

She was predictably bashful about it, blushing and announcing it quietly to Charlie and Kelley and Sonnett in the Gryffindor common room. Tobin was there too, but she clearly already knew, staring at her girlfriend with admiration written all over her face. She intertwined their fingers and pulled Christen closer to her on the couch when the Ravenclaw shared her news.

As the three rowdy Gryffindors broke into obnoxious cheers on Christen’s behalf, Kelley didn’t miss Tobin gently pushing Christen’s hair back and behind her ear to lean in and say, “I’m proud of you, babe.”

They were so, _so_ clearly in love.

When Kelley looked over at Charlie, he was swinging Sonnett around, the younger girl clinging to his shoulders, both of them giggling madly.

It occurred to her that she should maybe be jealous.

But she wasn’t. She wasn’t at all.

Kelley wondered if she would ever be ready to face what that meant.

***

Defense Against the Dark Arts was pretty decidedly Kelley’s second favorite class.

Now that they were fifth years, they were learning how to cast patronuses. Kelley had always been enamored by the silver creatures - she was beyond excited to find out what animal would be leaping out of her wand. The Slytherins and Gryffindors were paired together for the lesson. Kelley couldn’t help the twinge of disappointment when she saw Alex was already sitting next to Morgan.

Then she remembered that her _boyfriend_ was also in the class. And she should probably - no _definitely_ \- be excited to sit next to him. So she dropped into the vacant chair next to him, and he shifted so that he could play with her hand under the table as the professor began the lecture on patronuses and their forms.

“I bet mine’s a jaguar,” she whispered to Charlie, who snorted.

“Oh please, Kells. Jaguars are _graceful_.”

“Hey! I’m graceful!”

“Yeah, as graceful as a chicken. Maybe that’ll be yours.” Kelley hit Charlie behind his head with her book, causing a loud _smack_ sound to reverberate in the classroom. The professor shushed them - Kelley grinned lopsidedly while Charlie rubbed the back of his head, glaring playfully at her. She stopped grinning when she saw Alex looking at them with an emotion that Kelley didn’t dare say was sadness, but looked an awful lot like it.

She dropped Charlie’s hand.

The professor wrapped up the lecture and told the class to spread out and try the spell on their own. To cast a patronus, all Kelley had to do was focus on a memory that made her undeniably happy in that bubbly way that often reached into her throat.

The thing was, Kelley was naturally a happy person. She had an uncountable number of those memories – so many that she actually couldn’t pick one, and she flipped her wand around her fingers, thinking.

There were her memories as a child with her family and her siblings, memories of coming to Hogwarts, of learning about magic, of making lifelong friends, of playing Quidditch and casting charms and going on adventures.

Kelley was blessed, she figured, to have so much to choose from. It made that bubbly feeling swell up in her even more.

She ultimately settled on a random memory of laughing until she was crying with Tobin while they were high up in the air on their brooms, sometime around second year. Her friends were such a huge part of what made her undeniably happy.

Kelley screwed her eyes up in concentration, focusing in on Tobin’s laugh and their easy friendship, and spoke the words with conviction.

_“Expecto Patronum!”_

She couldn’t quite make shape of the silver figure that was moving around her at first. Heads whipped toward her at the appearance of the creature– Alex, Charlie, Morgan, and Dansby all moved closer to find out what Kelley had conjured.

She spotted a paw. Then a whisker. Some floppy ears.

Alex was the first to figure it out.

“Kell, of _course_ you’re a golden retriever,” she said so quietly that Kelley almost missed it. Kelley turned to look at her, and she was standing with her arms crossed, eyes trailing the patronus with awe.

And sure enough, the silver thing that was still prancing around the room, tongue lolling out of its mouth, was undeniably a full-grown golden retriever. It wagged its tail and bounced around with an unmistakable Kelley-esque energy, making Kelley grin with delight.

“Dang, Kells, you really nailed that one,” Charlie said gleefully. “And I thought it was gonna be a chicken.”

Alex shot him a sideways glance that was almost too quick to catch.

But Kelley rarely missed anything Alex did.

Soon, more of the class was conjuring their own patronuses. Charlie was ridiculously smug when a dragon flew around the classroom ceiling, making even the most astute of Slytherins gape in wonder.

And Alex – Alex’s brow was furrowed in the way that meant she was frustrated, as little wisps of silver flew from her wand, but nothing else.

Kelley wandered over the her hesitantly.

“Alex,” she greeted softly, careful not to scare her when she was frustrated. Alex only grimaced in reply, waving her wand and muttering the incantation.

Nothing happened.

“Do you want some help?” Kelley offered shyly. She wasn’t sure where she stood with Alex at this point and didn’t want to overstep – which, she apparently, she was rubbish at judging.

“No, Kelley, I don’t. Not all of us have a perfect life and a perfect boyfriend to make us revoltingly happy,” Alex spit out. She dropped her wand defeatedly onto the desk.

Kelley recoiled immediately, hurt running through her at Alex’s tone. Alex hadn’t spoken to her like that since they were second years, and Alex wouldn’t meet her eyes, and Alex apparently couldn’t take it when someone called her a dyke.

All of it hit Kelley like a blow to the gut.

She stumbled away from Alex, back to where Charlie and Dansby were. At least Charlie didn’t have mood swings, and Charlie never snapped at her.

Charlie didn’t break his conversation with Dansby (gloating unabashedly about his dragon, predictably), but wrapped his arm around Kelley’s waist when she approached.

Kelley tried to convince herself it felt natural.

Alex was slumped in her desk, head in her hands, back curled. A sharp contrast to her normal confidence and impeccable posture.

Kelley wished she knew how to help, even after Alex had snapped at her.

Charlie finished his conversation with Dansby and leaned into Kelley.

“I thought about you to make that patronus, you know,” he said. “So thank you for making me so happy.”

“That’s sweet, Charles.”

“Did you think of me?”

“What?”

“To cast your patronus. Were you thinking of me?”

“Nah, I was thinking about this one time Tobin and I were flying a couple years ago.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Kelley noticed a subtle shift in Charlie’s posture, the slight distance he put in between them.

“Dansby said he thought of Mal.”

“That’s also really sweet.”

“Yeah. He’s in love with her. He told me.”

Charlie was looking at her intensely, and suddenly, Kelley couldn’t take it. His arm felt heavy and alien against her waist, and his blue eyes that normally brought her comfort were haunting.

The students were starting to filter out of the classroom around them.

“Alex said she needed help with the spell. I’m gonna go talk to her,” Kelley lied quickly, extracting herself from Charlie’s embrace. His eyes turned stormy as she all but bolted away from him, toward Alex, who hadn’t moved from her defeated position at her desk.

Kelley sat next to her. She didn’t look up.

Kelley waited until she saw Dansby walk out with Charlie - who threw a part angry, part sulking glare her way - leaving the classroom empty, to slowly put her hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“Al. It’s me,” Kelley said softly. She started moving her hand so it was stroking Alex’s back. “Are you okay?”

Slowly, Alex picked her head up, pushing her hair away from her face. Her eyes were bloodshot, but she smiled weakly at Kelley.

“Hey. I’m really sorry for snapping,” she said. “I’m rubbish at this spell. I guess it was getting to me.”

“No, I get it,” Kelley said earnestly. She was beyond relieved at Alex’s shift in mood. “It was insensitive of me to ask you if you wanted help. I know your life has been a lot harder than mine, and reminding you of that was a really shitty thing to do.”

Alex stared at her. Kelley shifted a little uncomfortably – Alex’s blue eyes always _did_ things to her.

“Kelley. All you did was ask if I wanted help.”

“Well yeah, but you’re clearly upset, and I just - ”

“No, no, I’m sorry. There was no reason for me to get mad. You don’t deserve that, Kell.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure Charlie’s mad at me too, so I guess it’s going around,” Kelley joked halfheartedly. Alex, predictably, didn’t laugh. She moved a little closer, genuine concern in her eyes, and Kelley almost reached out to push her hair back behind her ear.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. He told me he thought of me when he cast that giant dragon of a patronus, and I told him that was sweet.”

“Did you tell him you also thought of him?”

“No? That would’ve been lying,” Kelley said. Alex tilted her head.

“Well that’s why he’s angry. He’s probably more hurt than anything.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess so.”

Alex continued to study Kelley, her eyebrows knitted together.

“You really didn’t think about him? I mean, you guys seem so good, so I just assumed…”

“Nah, not him,” Kelley admitted. “It’s nice to focus on things that are a little less complicated.”

Alex nodded at that. “So what _did_ you think of?”

She asked it a little too earnestly, looking deep into Kelley’s eyes, searching. And Kelley’s thoughts were flashing back to last year, of her time spent with Alex in the Room of Requirement, in the library, in the Forbidden Forrest – the feeling of Alex’s skin against her own, the radiance of her smile, the sound of her laugh -

She closed her eyes, lifted up her wand, and spoke the incantation.

“ _Expecto Patronum.”_

The golden retriever shone even brighter than before, trotting toward Alex, who smiled softly.

Her cheekbones stood out in the silver light.

She looked at Kelley with the question still dancing in her eyes.

“I thought of my friends, Alex. They’re what really make me happy, you know?” It wasn’t an outright lie – she had thought of Tobin the first time, and Alex really was just her friend.

She had spent enough time accepting that.

The dog faded out slowly, and Alex nodded thoughtfully.

Kelley wondered if she knew too much.

“Help me?” she asked, standing up with her wand at the ready. Kelley nodded and stood behind her.

“Think of a memory that makes you bubble up with so much joy you think you might float right into the ceiling,” Kelley whispered. Alex closed her eyes as Kelley’s breath hit her ear.

“Okay, I got it,” Alex whispered back. Kelley noticed her brow was furrowed again. She reached up and smoothed it out with her thumb, then gave in to the temptation to tuck Alex’s hair behind her ear.

When she went to put her hand down, Alex intercepted it.

She laced their fingers together, pulling Kelley closer against her back, their intertwined hands at her waist.

Time seemed to slow down. Kelley was hyperaware of her breathing, of Alex’s breathing, of the smell of her shampoo and the feel of her hair bumping against Kelley’s nose. Alex sighed slightly – slightly enough that Kelley would’ve missed it if she wasn’t paying attention.

But Kelley was always paying attention.

“Okay, Alex. Just say the spell,” Kelley commanded quietly. Alex nodded.

After a shaky breath in, she said the words without a tremor.

“ _Expecto Patronum._ ”

For a second, Kelley thought it was another dragon because of the sheer size of the creature, and fought the urge to laugh at the irony. But after that second, Kelley knew it was _not_ a dragon.

It was much more graceful.

The stallion was regal but strong, soft but proud – as Kelley watched it soar above them, she suddenly knew.

She wasn’t going to be able to move on from Alex. Not anytime soon.

“Wow,” Alex breathed, and Kelley brought her free hand up to rest on the other side of Alex’s waist as they watched her creation gallop around the room, leaving a trail of silver in its wake.

“Wow,” Kelley agreed softly. Alex lowered her wand and sunk entirely into Kelley’s embrace.

“You really didn’t think of Charlie?” She wondered, and Kelley could feel the move of Alex’s jaw as her head rested against her shoulder.

Kelley shook her head.

“No. Maybe I will soon, but not yet.”

Alex stayed quiet after that, rubbing her thumb gently across Kelley’s hand, burning a path that Kelley had to scrunch her eyes tightly to try and ignore.

“Kelley?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you really think that’s how love works?”

“What do you mean?”

“That someone just grows on you until you eventually love them?”

“Woah, Alex. I don’t _love_ Charlie. I don’t love _anyone_ ,” Kelley said quickly. Alex took a step forward and away from Kelley, turning to face her, Kelley’s hands still laced with hers.

“But you think you will. One day,” she said. The stallion that had been lighting up the musty classroom was flickering now, making shadows dance across Alex’s face.

Kelley thought, if she tried, she _maybe_ heard dejection in Alex’s question.

“Al – I – ”

“Please Kell. I just need to know.” The pleading statement tugged at Kelley’s heart, and she didn’t know why Alex was sad, but if she was right about the inkling of an idea she had –

No. Alex was straight, and Alex hated the slur she had been called, and Alex would never be more than a friend to Kelley.

Ever.

“Yeah Alex, I guess I do think maybe one day I will,” Kelley said slowly. “I mean, everyone seems to see Charlie and I as soulmates, right?”

Alex’s stallion flickered out completely, leaving them in the low light of the dusty classroom.

Kelley was sure it was colder than it had been earlier.

“Then we have to stop, Kelley.”

“Stop? Stop what?”

“This. Whatever it is we’re doing. The room of requirement. Thinking about you to cast this damn patronus. All of it.”

Alex’s eyes were intense, so intense that Kelley struggled to meet them. Her words cut into Kelley, reminding her of how much she relied on her best friend.

“Alex, why?”

Alex’s eyes kept searching, looking for something – but Kelley didn’t know what.

“You know why, Kelley.”

Except Kelley didn’t.

The best reason she could come up with was that Alex was scared, now that she knew Kelley’s sexuality.

Yeah, that was almost definitely it – Alex was freaked out because Kelley wasn’t straight, and she was terrified of her best friend falling in love with her.

It made Kelley’s chest burn, and guilt to settle tightly in her throat.

Because if Kelley was being honest, she might have already started.

“Oh. Okay. If that’s what you want,” Kelley said remorsefully, staring down at their connected hands. She tried to memorize the feeling of Alex’s skin against hers.

“That’s what _you_ want, right Kell?” Alex said softly, so softly that Kelley had to strain to catch the outline of the words. She looked back up at Alex, who had stepped closer, one hand reaching out so she could run her thumb along Kelley’s jaw.

“I want what you want, Al,” Kelley said shakily. “Whatever makes you happiest.”

Alex’s eyebrows knit together again, as if she was just realizing something.

“You don’t get it, do you? You really don’t get it,” she whispered, her thumb moving up to trail Kelley’s cheekbone.

Her words set something off in Kelley. Something hot and angry.

She knocked Alex’s hand away from her face and snatched her other hand from Alex’s grip so she could run it through her hair in frustration.

“What don’t I get, Alex? That you’re suddenly scared of my sexuality? That you’re so scared to be called a _dyke_ that you’ll get into a fist fight? That you don’t want to be near me anymore because you think it’s gross or something? Merlin, Al, I can only take so much.”

Kelley had backed away a pace, struggling to contain her anger and to control her self-consciousness, but it was all spilling out, and she could feel it through every pore of her body – how dare Alex be so suddenly horrible, what had she done to deserve this –

“Kelley, are you _kidding_ me right now?” Alex said tightly. “Are you actually that stupid?”

“Wow, okay Alex. I get it, last year we kissed in the woods and it was too much, and I’m sorry, that was stupid, but just because I’m not straight doesn’t mean I can’t contr –”

Alex stepped toward Kelley, closing the distance Kelley had just created. Kelley tried to take another step back to recreate it – she really couldn’t handle Alex right now, not when she was being so facetious – but Alex grabbed her hand to stop her before she could.

“Merlin you’re dumb,” she breathed, snaking her other hand around Kelley’s neck.

Kelley tried to focus on her dwindling anger. To not be distracted by the contact.

“Fuck off, Alex.”

Alex smirked at that. She looked as if she had pieced something together, as if she had the answer to some question that Kelley couldn’t place.

Kelley opened her mouth to say something else, to tell her to fuck off again, probably, but before she could -

Alex kissed her.

And Alex’s lips were warm and soft but insistent, and her hand was at the nape of Kelley’s neck, pulling slightly at the hair there, and Kelley couldn’t help the way she automatically reacted by pulling Alex in closer by the waist.

Alex kissed her ferociously, with built up frustration and passion, lips moving quickly, and Kelley matched her, her hands tightening around Alex’s waist. Their bodies pressed together, and Kelley felt, more than heard, the breath catch in both of their throats.

And when Alex opened her mouth slightly, Kelley didn’t hesitate to take the invitation to slip her tongue in.

It felt passionate, it felt _hot,_ it made all the hairs on Kelley’s arms stand up as all her cells reacted to Alex’s skin against hers –

It felt like everything kissing Charlie didn’t feel like.

Alex let out a small whimper when Kelley swiped her tongue across her bottom teeth.

That, and the thought of Charlie, her _boyfriend_ , brought Kelley painfully back to the present.

She sprung away from Alex, leaving them both panting – Alex’s eyes closed, Kelley’s wide.

Kelley couldn’t do this. Kelley had a boyfriend.

Sheer panic lit up across her chest, and Alex’s eyes flittered open, revealing so much softness that Kelley suddenly couldn’t breathe for a different reason.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had _felt_ as intensely as she did now.

Because Alex’s hair was swept back, and her lips were parted and a little swollen, and her eyes were glittering in a way that made Kelley’s heart race and her throat constrict.

She was looking at Kelley like she was the only thing that mattered.

“Kelley,” Alex breathed, stepping closer again.

“I have to go,” Kelley blurted out, scrambling for her school supplies that was strewn across the far desk. She turned her back to Alex so she wouldn’t have to see her – with her eyes, and her hair, and her body, and her wanting –

Kelley finished collecting her things and all but sprinted toward the door, ignoring Alex’s frantic calls of her name behind her.

***

The thoughts pounded in her ears and she raced down the hallways, toward the Gryffindor common room.

Alex liked her.

Alex liked _her._

Alex had kissed her.

Twice now.

Alex had let her kiss back.

But Kelley had a boyfriend.

Charlie.

Charlie, who was sitting in the Gryffindor common room when she got there, a single rose in his hand.

He looked up when she entered, still slightly out of breath, an expression similar to that of a kicked puppy across his face.

“Kelley! Where were you?” He asked, standing up to greet her. He took her books and set them down on one of the end tables.

“Oh, just going over the spell with Alex,” Kelley lied. She felt the guilt again in her chest, like a bad heartburn, and didn’t meet Charlie’s eyes.

“For that long?”

“Yeah, she couldn’t get the hang of it.” Kelley was weary of the way her lies were adding up. Charlie deserved better.

“Oh, that makes sense. Look, I’m sorry I was cross today in class. Can we talk?”

“Sure, Charlie,” Kelley said, opting to sit down on one of the armchairs. Charlie sat across from her.

“It’s just that, sometimes I feel like you’re not wholly invested in us, you know? And I should’ve just told you sooner instead of waiting until I was getting irritated, I know, and I have this rose as an apology – look, yeah, that one, take it – but like, you’re still in this, right? You’re still on board with us?”

Kelley looked at Charlie’s worried eyes, the way his hair was falling into his eyes again, his strong arms flexing and unflexing, showing he was nervous.

With Charlie, she felt safe.

And Alex had kissed her, sure, and she had had that _thing_ for Alex for ages.

But Alex was unpredictable. She might be into Kelley this week, but the next, she might have another Servando.

Charlie had been into her for as long as she had been into Alex.

As a way of answer, Kelley leaned forward, took Charlie’s head into her hands, and kissed him.

She kissed him as hard as Alex had kissed her.

Maybe harder, just for good measure.

And when Charlie pulled away after a while, the grin on his face said it all.

Kelley had made the right decision.

***

Avoiding Alex turned out to be really, really hard.

The Slytherin tried to corner her every time their paths crossed – in the corridors, after class, on the Quidditch pitch. She would get in Kelley’s way, try to stop her from moving around her, but Kelley couldn’t face it.

Every time Kelley walked away, the hurt in Alex’s eyes grew.

And just like always, Kelley pretended not to notice.

Because of the ambushes, Kelley took to walking with Tobin and Christen and Sonnett and Charlie most of the time. When Alex saw her in a group, she was less likely to be so persistent.

Christen, observant as always, threw Kelley concerned glances whenever it was clear she was avoiding Alex.

At the moment, Kelley was walking with Christen, Sonnett, and Charlie – all four of them in their Quidditch robes, gearing up for the Ravenclaw Gryffindor match that afternoon. As the group walked toward the great hall together, Alex stepped right in front of Kelley.

“Kelley. Do you have time to talk?” She asked, placing her hands on Kelley’s shoulders.

Kelley didn’t meet her eyes.

“Uh, sorry Alex, I have to prep for this game,” she said quickly, trying to sidestep the Slytherin.

“The game that’s in three hours?”

“Yep, that’s the one,” Kelley said brightly. Alex narrowed her eyes.

“Alright. Talk later?”

“Sure,” Kelley lied.

The lies were really starting to pile up.

Christen, observant as ever, studied the interaction with piercing eyes.

As Alex walked away, Christen held onto Kelley’s sleeve when she tried to catch up with Sonnett and Charlie, who were already in the great hall.

“Are you and Alex fighting again?” She asked, voice sharp.

“It’s complicated,” Kelley dodged.

“Try me.”

But Kelley didn’t want to. Kelley wanted to shut all feelings about Alex – confusion, attraction, adoration – into a box. And not open it.

“Look, Chris, it’ll blow over. Let’s just get some lunch before we kick your ass at the match, yeah?”

Christen’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t stop Kelley when she followed Charlie and Sonnett into the hall.

***

The match was gearing up to be exciting. The weather was perfect – a crisp October day – and Kelley was beyond excited to fly with Sonnett.

And Charlie.

After the night of the patronus incident, she and Charlie had been _weird_. She knew he wanted more out of her – more physicality, more attention, just more –

But she wasn’t sure she could give it.

She just wanted her best friend to be her best friend again.

And she way beyond scared of what accepting that thought meant.

But the day was clear, and Christen, Lindsey, Rose, Mal, and the rest of the Ravenclaws were warming up intensely, reminding Kelley of what she should be focusing on – the match.

As Kelley mounted her broom, she spotted Alex in the stands.

Wearing Gryffindor colors.

When they made eye contact, Alex held it, then gave her a nod of encouragement.

Kelley’s chest tightened.

Alex appeared to have unfathomable patience when it came to Kelley.

But when she kicked off, she could forget about her boy (and girl) problems, because the wind was in her face, and her bat felt perfectly weighted in her hands, and she could tell what Sonnett was thinking without even looking at the younger girl.

And even though Ravenclaw’s chaser team was unmatched this year, Kelley and Sonnett were keeping their points low by making them swerve bludger after bludger while Charlie wove through the players, eyes peeled for the snitch.

In fact, Kelley noticed that the Ravenclaw beaters were especially lacking. The bludgers shot around the pitch, and Sonnett and Kelley directed them as best they could, but their number one priority was protecting their own chasers.

The Ravenclaw beaters, it seemed, hadn’t gotten the memo.

Kelley sighed in frustration as she watched yet another bludger missed Rose by mere centimeters, the Ravenclaw having to dive sharply and abruptly to avoid the hit. She looked frazzled when she came back up – too on edge to play well, that was for sure.

Where were the Ravenclaw beaters?

As the game went on, Kelley watched Lindsey’s fingers get crushed and Mal’s broom get knocked by stray bludgers. She winced each time, hoping the Ravenclaws could get it together before someone got seriously injured.

Tobin watched Christen intently from the stands.

And Kelley knew what was going to happen, somehow, before it did.

Sonnett beat off a bludger before it could hit Dansby, and it sailed toward the Ravenclaw keeper, who ducked out of the way.

The bludger was left to its own devices. It hurtled toward Christen, who was intent on catching the quaffle that Rose had just thrown her way.

Kelley searched frantically to see if one of the beaters would step in to defend Christen.

There were none in sight.

Kelley shot toward Christen, knowing what was about to happen.

But she was too far away.

The bludger connected with Christen’s shoulder, and a deafening _crunch_ reverberated around the stadium.

Christen was suspended on her broom for a moment before completely losing balance.

Kelley watched with horror as Christen plummeted the 50 feet toward the ground.

She heard someone scream – she thought it might be Tobin – as Christen’s body hit the ground, splaying out at awkward angles.  
  


Kelley and the rest of the players, Gryffindors and Ravenclaws alike, dove quickly. Kelley the first there, opting to leap off her broom a good ten feet off the ground, landing unsteadily right next to Christen.

“Christen. Christen. Can you hear me?” Kelley said, kneeling next to her friend. “Chris?”

Christen was unresponsive.

Tobin was at Kelley’s side in a second, fear written all over her face.

“Chris! Chris, it’s me. Wake up. Please, Chris, wake up,” Tobin said, reaching out to touch her girlfriend.

Madam Hooch got there before she could.

“Stop! Don’t touch her! Out of the way kids, out of the way!” Madam Hooch screeched. She pushed past Kelley and Tobin and gingerly picked Christen up.

“Ooh, that’s a bad one. She needs to get to the hospital wing now,” Hooch said, shooing the students out of the way.

Tobin looked as if she was about to go after her. Her eyes never left Christen’s limp body, laid lifelessly across Hooch’s forearms. She let out a strangled noise and made to follow Hooch as she carried Christen off the pitch.

Kelley pulled her back by her wrist, looping an arm around her shoulders to keep her there.

“Tobin, don’t. You won’t be able to help at this point,” Kelley reasoned quietly. Tobin’s eyes were wide and frantic when she turned to face Kelley. When she spoke, her voice came out cracked and broken.

“She just – she fell – and I couldn’t do anything, Kell, I couldn’t save her.”

“I know, Tobs. I know.”

“What if she’s not okay?”

“She’s gonna be okay. She’s Christen.”

“She has to be. I don’t know what I’ll do if she’s not.”

And they stayed like that for a while – Kelley’s arm looped around Tobin’s shoulders, Tobin squeezing her eyes shut to try and block out the chaos around them.

The mood was heavy and obsolete and worry tugged at Kelley’s heart. Despite her assuring words, she wasn’t sure if Christen was going to make it through that fall.

Her eyes searched for Alex automatically before she could think to stop them.

The Slytherin was huddled with the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, arms around Lindsey and Rose, Servando in the background. When Kelley looked over, Alex met her eyes.

Concern and empathy shone through, and Alex wiggled out of Lindsey’s hold as if to approach Kelley.

Before she could, Charlie stepped in front of Kelley’s line of view. His hair was wild from the wind and he was shaking slightly.

“Kell,” he said, before taking her into his arms. “You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah Charlie. It’s just Christen,” Kelley said, ending the hug quickly in order to pull Tobin back into her – Kelley was legitimately worried the Hufflepuff was going to run off in the direction of the hospital wing if she didn’t keep a hand on her at all times.

Alex had turned away again. Guilt and hurt flittered in Kelley’s chest. But the worry for Christen overpowered her personal problems. Especially when she turned to Tobin, only to see tears filtering out of her eyes, her face crumpled in total defeat.

“Come on, Tobin. Let’s go,” Kelley said, intent on getting Tobin somewhere more private. Tobin nodded halfheartedly, and Kelley took her by the hand to lead her away.

***

They weren’t allowed to visit Christen for three days.

Tobin was a complete wreck, alternating between silent tears and emotional outbursts of frustration and helplessness. Kelley, Sonnett and Charlie stayed by her side, but Kelley knew there was only one person that could help Tobin in this state.

But that person was unconscious in the hospital wing, and they didn’t know when or if she would heal.

On the third day, Tobin and Kelley were at their spot by the lake, under the illusion of doing homework. Both girls had quills and ink, but neither of them made a move to start their potions essay.

Tobin stared into the distance, eyes blank, either not noticing the chill of the early winter afternoon, or not caring.

Kelley took off her coat, wrapped it around the Hufflepuff, and rubbed her back soothingly.

But there was nothing Kelley could do. Not while the threat of losing Christen forever hung heavily in the air.

So when Kelley saw Madam Hooch approaching them, she was terrified of what news she might bring. She tapped Tobin softly, making her aware of the figure walking toward them.

Tobin looked up hopefully.

“Girls. Miss Press is stable in the hospital wing now. You’re welcome to pay her a visit.”

Before Kelley could even process the words, Tobin was on her feet, shrugging off Kelley’s coat, and taking off at a dead spring in the direction of the hospital and her girlfriend.

Kelley grinned, unable to contain her absolute relief. She picked up her coat, gave Madam Hooch a hug (the professor grimaced but Kelley grinned lopsidedly at her), and raced after Tobin, trying not to trip over her untied shoelaces.

When Kelley got to the hospital wing, out of breath, Tobin was already sat by Christen’s bed, one of her hands clasped around both of Christen’s, eyes teary as buried her head in Christen’s shoulder. Christen – her shoulder wrapped in bandages, innumerable potions on her bedside table - smiled lightly but grimaced slightly at the contact.

“Oy, Tobin, easy!” Kelley interjected, taking a spot on the other side of the bed.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Christen said weakly as Tobin sprang away from her. She pulled the Hufflepuff back to her. “The shoulder’s a little tender, that’s all.”

“Chris, we didn’t know if you were gonna be okay,” Tobin whispered. She smoothed down Christen’s hair and touched her face gingerly, as if she were something beyond precious.

“Madam Pompfrey said I’m lucky,” Chisten said. She looked at her girlfriend with a renewed adoration.

Kelley reasoned that perhaps dancing with death would make you a little appreciative of what you had.

“Chris, listen to me. No listen. I have to tell you something,” Tobin said urgently, clasping Christen’s hands. “And I should’ve told you before, but you have to know now.”

“Tobin. Shhh, baby. I know,” Chris said softly. Tobin looked confused.

“You do?”

“I do. But you can still say it.”

Kelley wasn’t quite following the conversation, but it felt heavy. She thought she should maybe leave the two alone, but at the same time, leaving now would be more awkward than staying.

“I love you.”

The way Christen’s face lit up, even after insisting Tobin didn’t have to say it, made Kelley smile to herself, despite her resolve to not be mushy over her best friends. New tears sprung up in Tobin’s eyes as she gave Christen a watery smile, then leaned in for a kiss.

“Gross, guys,” Kelley said – but the two hardly registered her. It wasn’t until Christen moved over to let Tobin climb into the cot with her that she looked to Kelley.

“Hey Kell.”

“Nice to see you alive, Christen. You really scared us.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I was seconds from taking a bat to y’all’s beaters for being incompetent.”

“Kelley. Thank you for everything, for the past three days, for being an outstanding friend and human - but go away.” It was Tobin this time that spoke, but Christen smiled sheepishly at her in a way of agreement.

“Okay, okay, I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Don’t ever do that again!” Kelley said as she turned to leave.

“Come back tomorrow Kell! Love you!” Christen called after her retreating back. Kelley grinned to herself.

For the millionth time, she wondered what a love like Christen’s and Tobin’s would feel like.

***

True to her word, Kelley visited Christen in the hospital wing the next day.

Christen was sat up against her pillows, nose in a book, shoulder carefully bandaged and in a sling. When she heard Kelley walk in, she looked up and closed her book.

“Hi Chris. How are you feeling?” Kelley asked, taking a seat on the edge of the cot.

“A lot better. And Tobin’s been here to keep me company, which has been great.”

Kelley smiled at that.

“Yeah, you guys are perfect for each other. It’s sickening.”

Kelley expected Christen to laugh, but she just tilted her head to the side, like she did when she had something serious to say.

“Chris. What is it?”

Christen sighed softly.

“I haven’t told Tobin this, because she’d freak out, but Madam Pomfrey said that I was dangerously close to dying that first night.”

“Merlin, Chris.”

“I know. It makes you think, being that close to the end and still pushing through.” Kelley nodded thoughtfully.

“I bet it does.”

“I think you should break up with Charlie.”

“Wait, what?”

Christen was looking at her intently, her green eyes piercing and knowing. Kelley shrunk under her friend’s intense gaze.

“Life is too short to not do what you want. No be with who you want,” Christen said, shaking her head sadly. “Kelley, listen to me. I know it seems improbable – but what if everything ended tomorrow? Would you be happy with what you’re doing? Who you’re with? Or do you think - ”

Christen’s voice cracked. She took a breath in to steady herself.

“I almost died without telling Tobin that I love her. Without hearing her tell me that she loves me. And it made me realize – life is too short to dance around these things, Kell. If you don’t love someone, don’t be with them. And if you do love someone and you aren’t with them – well, what are you waiting for?”

Each word struck Kelley like a blow.

She thought about how she had been dancing around her and Charlie’s relationship, pushing away the nagging feelings that she would much rather them just be friends again. How his arm always felt too heavy around her, how no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t enjoy kissing him.

Not the way she enjoyed kissing Alex.

Alex, who had been expressing interest in her since the semester started. Alex, who had been more than patient, seeking her out even after Kelley ran out on her after that day in the classroom.

The wakeup call hit Kelley like at truck – all the buried feelings, the locked boxes – all of it exploded in a show of pain and guilt and _longing_. And once she decided to finally face it – _all_ of it – she couldn’t escape it.

The pressure on her chest was too close to bursting.

“Fuck, Chris. I have to go.”

Christen studied the look on Kelley’s face, then slowly nodded.

“Yeah. You sure do.”

With that, Kelley sprinted out of the hospital.

***

Kelley found Charlie in the owlery, of all places.

Blue was sat up in the rafters, and he flew down the second he heard Kelley walk in, perching happily on her shoulder. He gave Charlie an affectionate nip.

Charlie had always been good with animals.

But – now Kelley knew – that was not a good reason to date someone.

Charlie flashed Kelley his signature grin and stroked a hand along Blue’s back.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here. What’s up, babe?” Charlie asked.

Kelley winced slightly at the term of endearment, and Charlie frowned.

“Is everything okay?”

“We need to talk.”

And Charlie met Kelley’s eyes, and Kelley could see that deep down –

He already knew.

Charlie dropped his hand from Blue’s feathers, and the owl flew back up into the rafters, screeching.

“Okay, Kelley. Hit me.”

“I think I’m gay.”

***

Charlie blinked a couple times, shaking his head as if to ward off such a statement.

Kelley tapped her fingers against her thighs.

“You’re gay?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure.”

Kelley chewed on her lip and looked down at her shoes – untied, as always. Charlie laughed a little.

“Well that’s okay, right? Because you’re bi. And of course I’m okay with that, Kell. You can be whoever you want to be.”

Charlie’s voice was strained and quiet, and Kelley knew even he didn’t quite believe the words he was saying.

“No, Charlie. I’m not. Not bi,” Kelley said softly. “I think we both know that.”

Kelley had never seen Charlie angry before. When she saw the emotion flash across his eyes, she had to fight to not take a step backward.

“So it was all fake? All of it? The dates, the words, the kissing – you faked your way through an entire relationship?”

“No, Charlie! I would never do that to you. I was confused, and I thought I liked you, I really did – but it’s not working. I can’t do this. And I think you’ve known that for a little while now.”

Charlie pushed the hair out of his eyes, more aggressively than usual. “So you’re breaking up with me?”

“I’m sorry, Charlie.”

With that, Charlie sat down on one of the miscellaneous benches in defeat.

“Well, I guess it’s better to get dumped because someone can’t love you than if someone won’t.”

Kelley sat down next to him.

“You know you’re always going to be my best friend, Charles. I’ll always love you in that way.”

“Friends. I think I’m just gonna need some time.”

“I really am sorry.”

“I know. That’s what makes it even worse.”

They sat there for a bit, Kelley unsure of how to placate her now ex boyfriend (or if she even should). Eventually, she had to ask.

“Does it surprise you? Really?”

Charlie sighed.

“Not if I’m being completely honest. We should’ve been perfect, you know? We were always perfect on paper and to other people. But there was always something missing.”

Kelley nodded.

“Yeah. I guess there always was.”

“Is there someone else?”

The question came unexpectedly to Kelley, and she knew she gave herself away when she automatically winced, like a reflex.

Charlie’s eyes hardened again.

“O’Hara. Tell me you haven’t been cheating on me.”

“I haven’t! I haven’t Charlie, I swear. But once - ”

“You know what? Forget it, Kelley. I don’t want to hear it.” Just as quickly as Charlie’s anger had flared up, it died back down. Kelley wrinkled her brow in confusion.

“You don’t?”

“No. Just leave me the hell alone, for once.”

“Charlie. Come on, please – ”

“I mean it Kelley. Leave. I can’t do this now. I really can’t.”

And so Kelley left, the sadness in Charlie’s eyes haunting, no matter how sure she was of her decision.

***

Kelley gave it one night.

One night to process. She had been putting off her feelings for so long, putting herself into a box, and finally letting herself _feel_ was a new experience.

She realized she had been irrevocably stupid when it came to Alex.

The other girl had shown her more than one sign over the past year. And Kelley had ignored them, and then ignored _her_ for a whole week now after they made out in the defense against the dark arts classroom.

Yeah, Kelley had been up and down and her mind had been muddled and her path twisted – but suddenly, everything seemed clear.

The next day was the first day Kelley didn’t see Alex anywhere.

Alex didn’t try to corner her anywhere, didn’t show up to breakfast or lunch. Kelley had no idea where to find her.

She checked the Slytherin common room, the astronomy tower, the library, the Quidditch pitch, the lake – and still no sign of Alex.

Frustrated, Kelley ended up by a secluded edge of the Forbidden Forest, where she had once shown Alex how to pet a hippogriff. The evening was crisp and cold and Kelley shivered slightly.

How could it be the second she tried to _stop_ avoiding Alex, she was nowhere to be found?

Kelley sat down on one of the fallen logs, running her fingers through the dew covered grass.

She wished Alex would just magically show up, like she used to when they were still using the room of requirement.

She thought of Alex’s eyes, and how they were always soft when she looked at Kelley. About how she chewed on the inside of her cheek when she was focused on her studies. About her laugh, how clear it would ring out when Kelley made a stupid joke (or tripped over her own feet).

She’d give anything for Alex to be there, so Kelley could finally set things straight.

Kelley spent a few more minutes like that – perched on the log, head filled with previously forbidden thoughts (and longing) for her best friend.

She was getting ready to give up and head back to the Gryffindor common room when she saw a certain brunette approaching.

Alex.

Kelley took in a lungful of brisk air.

Alex looked stunning. She always looked stunning, but Kelley sometimes forced herself not to notice.

Her hair was down and flowing, and her skin all but glowed in the low light of the evening, the green scarf around her neck bringing out the blue in her eyes.

“Alex? I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Kelley said when Alex was in hearing range, standing up and shoving her hands into the pockets of her robe to keep them warm.

Alex sighed as she came to a stop a few feet from Kelley. The obvious distance made the Gryffindor squirm uncomfortably.

“That’s new. You’ve been avoiding me for the past week.”

Alex’s tone made Kelley flinch back.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Alex bit her lip. Kelley didn’t stop herself from watching the movement.

“I don’t know what else to do, Kelley. I can’t keep making excuses for you. You know how I feel now, and you’ve decided to be a complete ass about it. And I’m done, okay? I’m done.”

Kelley stared. Alex’s eyes weren’t as soft as they normally were around Kelley, but it was like the other girl couldn’t will them to be as hard as they were around other people.

The sadness there clawed at Kelley’s heart.

When Kelley didn’t respond, Alex sighed again, and turned as if to leave.

“Wait! Alex, wait. Please,” Kelley rushed out. The wind tugged at Alex’s hair when she turned back to Kelley, and the Slytherin shivered a little.

“For what? For you to tell me that we’re just friends? I don’t need the heartache again,” Alex snapped. “Just run back to Charlie, okay?”

“We broke up. I broke up with him, I mean.”

Alex hesitated at that.

“What? Why?”

“You know why.”

Kelley held Alex’s eyes as the realization dawned in them.

She could tell the exact moment the sadness filtered out in favor of a glimmer of hope.

“You mean…this is…”

“Yeah.”

And Alex was staring now, a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips, disbelief dancing across her features. Kelley didn’t bother to hide her own grin as it stretched across her face.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Kelley. Are you _ever_ gonna kiss me?”

And Kelley wasn’t great on picking up hints. But that one was clear enough, even for her.

She took a step forward, cupped Alex’s face with both hands, and finally, _finally_ , kissed her.

It was slower than the last time, softer, and Alex wound her arms around Kelley’s waist gently as she kissed her back. And Alex was warm in the briskness of the evening, her lips a pulsing point of comfort.

The kiss felt like coming home.

Alex didn’t make a move to deepen it, and Kelley decided not to either. When she broke away, Alex rested her forehead against Kelley’s, arms still tightly wrapped around her waist. Kelley rested her arms on Alex’s shoulders.

“So.” Kelley said softly.

“So,” Alex repeated, a smile gracing her face. “This is really happening, huh?”

“It sure is.”

“I can’t believe you avoided me for a week.”

“I can be dense sometimes, okay?”

“You _are_ a Gryffindor,” Alex said, and Kelley laughed quietly against her lips.

“How’d you find me out here?”

At the question, Alex distanced herself from Kelley slightly so she could look her in the eyes.

“I had that same gut feeling that I used to get when you wanted me to meet you in the room of requirement. But it was telling me to come out here.”

Kelley furrowed her brow in confusion.

“But I thought that was, you know, the room of requirement that did that?”

Alex stared out, past Kelley, toward the setting sun behind the lake.

When she spoke, it was with quiet deliberation.

“Maybe it wasn’t the room.”

“How could that be?”

“I don’t know. But I can guess it has something to do with this.”

Alex took Kelley’s hand from where it was draped across her shoulder and placed it over her heart.

Kelley could feel ot beating steadily, but there was something else –

The recognizable tug at the pit of her stomach.

The one that had she had felt so often last year.

Except now it wasn’t pulling her toward the seventh floor. It was simply there, burning, as if to tell her she was exactly where she needed to be.

Kelley looked up, into Alex’s eyes, so overwhelmed with emotion and adoration and something dangerously close to that feeling that shouldn’t come after a third kiss.

Alex was looking back at her with just as much softness.

“What do you think it means?”

“I don’t know that, either.” 

Kelley moved her hand to cup Alex’s face again.

“Me neither. But there’s something special about us, Alex.”

Alex turned her face into Kelley’s touch, lips brushing against Kelley’s hand every so softly.

“There sure is.”

A half hour and several kisses later, Alex and Kelley walked hand in hand back to the castle, when it got too cold to stay outside.

Before they left, Kelley cast a patronus.

It was blindingly bright.

Kelley didn’t even have to say anything. Alex knew. Her eyes followed the dog as it ran gracefully across the lake, its paws skimming the water.

She wrapped an arm around Kelley’s waist and laid her head on her shoulder. Her eyes shone with something unreadable, but exuberant.

Even later that night, in the room of requirement, Alex pulled a box out of her robes.

She said she had had it since the end of last year.

When Kelley opened it to see the gold plated clover, she couldn’t help the tears that welled up in her eyes.

It settled nicely around her neck, the weight comforting. And Kelley wasn’t sure what was going to happen next – with Charlie’s friendship, how Christen would heal –

But she knew she had finally gotten the most important thing right.

And when Alex was asleep in her arms, Kelley couldn’t help but think that she never even needed a good luck charm, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been taking me so long to write while im at uni because i have no time, im sorry  
> hence the half chapter  
> thank you all for being patient :,) im not abandoning this, i promise
> 
> and thank you for the kind comments, i always go back to reread them as i’m working on the next part :)


	6. year five part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait

Kelly invited Alex to stay with her over the Christmas break.

This time, Alex said yes.

The last couple weeks of the semester passed in a blur, with nearly all of Kelley’s attention focused on Alex. Now that they had finally taken that step into romance, it was like they couldn’t get enough of each other.

Kelley thought that kissing Alex was the best feeling in the world.

She did it whenever she could – in cleared out corridors, in a secluded spot by the lake, far enough back in the Three Broomsticks that no one would be able to see them.

The second best feeling was the look in Alex’s eyes after she pulled away.

Charlie wasn’t talking to her.

She saw him at Quidditch practice, and occasionally in the Gryffindor common room, in class. He never so much as looked her way.

And it stung, losing her best friend like that. Ever since she had come to Hogwarts, Charlie had been at her side, her partner in crime, her _person_.

And now, it was like none of that ever happened.

She decided to give him some space. In the locker room after practice, when he ducked his head and left the second Kelley walked in, she let him, eyes trailing his retreating figure sadly.

She didn’t really know what else to do.

Where Charlie’s presence was missing in her life, Alex was suddenly there.

They were as inseparable as they had been that first semester of third year, maybe even more so. And when Christmas break rolled around, Kelley realized she wasn’t sure how to introduce Alex to her parents.

They were on the train, just the two of them in their chosen compartment. Christen was staying at Hogwarts because of the extent of her injuries, and Tobin had of course decided to stay with her.

Charlie, Sonnett, Mal and Dansby had taken what used to be Kelley and Charlie’s compartment. Kelley took one look at Charlie’s rigid posture at the sight of her, and knew that she and Alex wouldn’t be welcome there.

Sonnett threw her a sympathetic smile, clearly uncomfortable with the possibility of being caught in the crossfire of Charlie’s aggression.

But that was fine. Charlie would get over it eventually, and for now, she still had Alex.

So Kelley was leaning against the cool compartment window, watching the snow covered landscape zip by. Alex was sitting across from her, absorbed in a book, posture impeccable.

“Hey Al?”

Alex didn’t look up from her book. “Mmm?”

“I hate to give into the cliché, but – what are we?”

At that, Alex scrunched her eyebrows together and slid in a bookmark before closing her book and laying it to the side.

“I guess I don’t really know.”

“Don’t you think it’s something we should figure out before we get home to my family?”

Alex’s eyebrows scrunched even further. Her fingers tugged uncertainly at the fabric of her seat.

Alex seldom had nervous ticks.

“I was thinking we could just tell them that I was there for moral support. You know, after your big breakup.”

“Moral support?”

“Yeah, like a friend in this time of need.”

“A friend.” Kelley let the bitterness seep in through her voice.

She had managed to be friends with Alex long enough. She didn’t really want to slap that label on again.

Alex’s eyes were clear and apologetic.

“You know how I feel, Kelley. Isn’t that all that really matters?”

Kelley wanted to say that no, that wasn’t all that really mattered. She wanted to say that she was ready to shout from the rooftops that she and Alex were together, that Alex had chosen _her_. She wanted to say that Alex was quickly becoming her world, and worlds were difficult to hide.

She wanted to say that the only thing she was sure of when it came to how Alex felt was that Alex liked to kiss her.

But she didn’t say any of that.

“I guess so.”

Alex shot her a smile.

“Perfect, then.”

And Alex went back to her book and Kelley went back to her thoughts, which were racing faster than the landscape passing by.

***

Kelley’s sister was heartbroken over the ‘big breakup.’

As they sat at the dinner table – Alex, Kelley, and her family – Kelley could feel Alex growing more and more tense.

“I just don’t get it, Kelley! You guys were _made_ for each other. He was goofy, and sweet, and _hot_ , and so into you – why would you break up with him?”

Alex stabbed at her chicken a little aggressively.

Kelley’s mom gave Kelley a sympathetic glance.

“Now now, Erin. Don’t be harsh on her, she’s clearly going through a rough heartbreak. That’s why Alex is here, right dear?” She said, patting Alex on the hand.

“Sure is,” Alex said sweetly, but through gritted teeth.

“I’m just saying, Alex wouldn’t have to be here at all if Kelley had just decided to stay with the boy who was clearly her soulmate. Did you _see_ those dimples?”

“Okay, Erin, we get it,” Kelley said shortly.

Erin didn’t seem to get the message.

“And good luck finding better abs.”

That seemed to be Alex’s last straw.

“Thank you so much for dinner, Ms. O’Hara. And the warm welcome. I think I’m going to go unpack my things,” she said, standing up abruptly enough to make the silverware clink.

“Of course, my dear. Guest room is up the stairs to the –”

“I’ll show her,” Kelley said quickly, also standing up. She had seen the annoyed glint in Alex’s eyes, and knew she should probably comfort the Slytherin before she did anything brash.

“Alright. Come back down for board games when you’re finished!”

Kelley almost didn’t hear her mother’s last words because Alex all but broke into a run to get up the stairs. Kelley grabbed her suitcase, which Alex seemed to have forgotten in her haste, and followed her.

When she caught up to Alex, the other girl was standing in Kelley’s room, eyes vacantly looking out the window.

Kelley stepped in, put the suitcase down, and closed to door quietly with a _click_.

Alex turned to face her, and Kelley swallowed thickly and the possessiveness swimming in Alex’s darkened eyes.

And then Alex’s hands were on her, pulling her lips to hers, all urgency and passion and that same _possessiveness._ She was nipping at Kelley’s bottom lip and Kelley could barely keep up.

And then Alex was pushing forward, walking Kelley back, until Kelley’s back brushed up against the desk in the corner of her room. She broke apart from Alex at the sudden contact.

“Woah, Alex, what -”

Alex stepped further into her space, trapping Kelley with her body, hands falling to Kelley’s hips.

“Did you and Charlie ever do _this_?”

And Alex was kissing her again, hands squeezing at her hips, tongue sweeping into Kelly’s mouth the second Kelley’s lips parted. Kelley grabbed at the front of Alex’s shirt, fingers brushing over her collarbone, trying to find purchase, trying to keep in the groan that was threatening to sound in her throat.

Alex was _jealous_.

The thought settled hotly in Kelley's chest and between her legs.

Kelley broke away again, this time for air, and Alex was still looking at her in that same way, making Kelley tingle all over.

Alex could tell.

“Did he ever make you feel like this?” She asked, and Kelley had to close her eyes, breath coming out in short puffs, at the way Alex’s voice had dropped, the rasp even more prominent. When she opened them, Alex was smirking.

“Al…”

But Alex wasn’t listening.

Instead, she dropped her lips to Kelley’s jaw, leaving a trail of hot kisses toward her neck.

Kelley balled up the front of Alex’s shirt and moved a hand down her spine, pulling her impossibly closer. Without stopping what she was doing, Alex pulled Kelley’s hand around to where her shirt met her jeans.

Kelley slipped her hand under her shirt, fingers trailing soft skin, scratching lightly at Alex’s abs.

Alex moaned quietly and broke away from Kelley’s neck, panting slightly, lips grazing the shell of Kelley’s ear.

“Do my abs compare to his?” she whispered hotly. Her teeth grazed sensitive skin.

At that, Kelley pushed lightly at Alex’s shoulders to create some distance so she could get her thoughts in order.

“I wouldn’t know, Alex. We never got that far,” Kelley admitted. She pushed Alex’s hair out of her face, behind her ear, stroking a hand gently across Alex’s cheekbones.

She let herself be soft, trying to focus on making sure Alex was okay, and not the tight knot that had settled in the pit of her stomach.

“Maybe we should talk about why you’re so jealous.”

Alex closed her eyes and groaned at that.

“I’m not jealous.”

“Babe, you were literally _just_ trying to compare your abs to my ex boyfriend’s. Or did I hear you wrong?”

A blush crept across Alex’s cheeks as she ran her hand through her tangled hair, stepping further away from Kelley. But Kelley tugged at her arm and pulled her back closer, letting her arms fall to her waist and brushing her thumbs lightly against her hipbones.

“It’s just – your family’s kind of right. He _was_ perfect for you. He was goofy and sweet and attractive and - ”

“Lex.”

And Alex looked up at her at the name, her eyes big and vulnerable and ever so slightly scared.

Alex was so rarely scared of anything.

Kelley looked right into her eyes.

“Charlie never made me feel a fraction of what just – just even being in the same room as you makes me feel, Al. _No one_ makes me feel like that. It’s only you.”

And Alex smiled so softly, the blush already on her cheeks reddening, and Kelley felt her heart rising out of her chest toward the girl she was falling for – wholly, inexorably, falling for.

Kelley kissed her softly, gently, a sharp contrast to the passionate way Alex had just kissed her, and she felt Alex melt right into her arms. Felt the stress melt off of her and out of sight.

“You’ve got nothing to be worried about, okay? I’m not stupid enough to let you go.”

And Alex hugged Kelley tightly, her face buried into Kelley’s neck – and even though she didn’t say anything, Kelley could feel the adoration spilling from her, could feel it pouring out of Alex’s fingers where they were tracing her back and over her spine.

Alex pulled away after a minute, but not before giving Kelley a lingering kiss on her forehead.

“I think your mom said something about playing games?”

“Oh yeah, about that. If you end up in a fistfight with either of my siblings over a game of Monopoly, I’m never forgiving you.

Alex furrowed her eyebrows.

“What’s Monopoly?”

And Kelley leaned back and let out a laugh from her chest, and Alex squeezed her fingers and laughed with her.

***

They went to a concert on the day before they had to go back to Hogwarts.

It was a relatively smaller artist that Kelley had introduced to Alex a while back, and Alex had taken a liking to her. The tickets were Alex’s Christmas present to Kelley, and Kelley was beyond excited to go.

And when Alex stepped out of the guest room with makeup that made the blue in her eyes pop, and a little black dress that showed off her legs perfectly –

Kelley was breathless.

And Alex had known it too, slipping past Kelley with wink and brushing Kelley’s ass subtly as she moved past her and into the kitchen. Kelley was wearing a pair of black jeans she knew Alex liked on her, hair up in a bun that showed off her jawline. She laughed to herself at the game they were both playing.

“You girls have fun! Be safe!”

***

The venue was crowded, but Alex had gotten them the best seats, right at the front. The singer was beautifully animated, dancing her way through the crowd, capturing everyone’s attention from the start of the show.

Well, almost everyone’s attention.

Kelley couldn’t take her eyes off Alex. The way she moved, dancing a little off beat to the music, a perfectly unfiltered smile lighting up her face as she sang along to the music.

Alex caught her staring over and over again. She’d wink, and then move in closer, pressing her body up against Kelley’s, stealing all the breath out of Kelley’s lungs.

_I’m like fallingwater, set me free_

_You were like falling water, coming down on me_

Seeing Alex so joyous made Kelley believe in soulmates.

She thought maybe Alex did too, with the way she was looking at Kelley – her eyes mirrored every thought in Kelley’s head about that l word they were hurtling toward.

And when the slower song came on, and Alex had her arms around her neck, staring into her eyes –

The noise in Kelley’s ears was deafening, but her mind was quiet.

Alex kissed the lyrics onto Kelley’s mouth and Kelley knew.

_I feel it in my body, know it in my mind  
Oh I, I'm gonna love you for a long time _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys  
> im posting in shorter increments because getting around to writing has been getting really hard and i don't want to leave you guys hanging and wondering if im still around. just got some stuff going on, sorry  
> anyway i hope u enjoyed! talk to me in the comments :)
> 
> lyrics are from the one and only maggie rogers


	7. year 5 again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes that wait but we're back

Charlie sat by Kelley on the train ride back to Hogwarts.

Alex was sitting with Kelley already – this year the prefects only had to meet in August, and coming back for second semester they only had the option to sit in the prefect compartment, not the obligation. Alex, of course, chose Kelley.

If Alex was surprised at Charlie’s unexpected appearance, she didn’t let it show. She greeted Charlie with her usual astute nod and went back to staring out the window.

Charlie opened the door to the compartment slowly, as if to give them time to notice his presence. He brushed the hair out of his eyes nervously, fiddled with the door, and sat down next to Kelley – who had to turn on her brain to remind herself not to look shocked.

“Hey, Kelley.” The words that came out of Charlie’s mouth lacked their normal playful edge, but Kelley was thankful for them nonetheless.

“Hey Charles! What can I do for you?” Kelley cringed slightly at her own awkwardness, and she thought she saw Alex’s lips twitch slightly as if to fight off a smirk.

“Uh, I guess I just wanted to talk. I got to thinking a lot over break, and talked to my brothers, and I just thought – ” Charlie broke off, glancing up at Alex. “Actually, do you think we could take this somewhere else?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Kelley said hastily, scrambling to her feet. “Back of the train?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, Alex, I’ll see you later?”

Alex just nodded in response, not bothering to look at either of them. Well, probably not bothering to look at Charlie. Kelley lead the way out of the compartment and down the length of the train, toward the glass door at the end that opened into a small platform outside. Because the train was moving, there would be no point in opening it – she wouldn’t hear a word Charlie said over the roar of the wind. So instead, she leaned back against the glass, looking at Charlie expectantly.

Charlie cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck before staring again. “So yeah, like I was saying, I did some reflecting. Self-reflecting, not reflecting on you, but kind of reflecting on you because that was part of self-reflecting – NOT that you’re part of me or something, because you’re not, but like you’re still my friend so kinda? Like I was thinking about who I am, or I guess more what I do, and like that relates to you too…?” Charlie trailed off, realizing (admittedly after Kelley had) that his statement wasn’t really going anywhere.

“Are you planning on spitting anything out, bud? Or are you just gonna keep word vomiting til we get to Hogwarts?” Charlie caught Kelley’s playful tone and looked up from his shoes to meet her eyes. Kelley saw pain there, but also something else – something new.

“You’re not making this easier, Kells.”

“Making what easier? Charlie, I have no idea what you’re trying to say. But if you want to apologize, there’s no need. You’re always my best friend. Whether you know it or not.”

“Yeah, apologizing. That’s what I was working toward,” Charlie muttered, and Kelley laughed. Lightly, easily. In a way she hadn’t done around Charlie in a while.

“I appreciate it Charles. It’s unnecessary – but I appreciate it.”

“I guess I also wanted to say you were right.” Kelley frowned.

“Right about what?”

“We were never going to work. And I knew that probably even before you did. I was just too damn stubborn to admit it to you, or even myself.”

“We’re both pretty damn stubborn. Maybe that’s why we get along so well.”

“So do you think we can be good?”

“Yeah Charles, I think we can.” When Charlie finally grinned at her, lopsided as always, Kelley felt as if maybe, just maybe, everything would work out.

“You’ll have to tell me about this mystery girl sometime. Maybe in a couple months, when I’m ready to hear it,” Charlie said as they walked back towards the compartment Alex was still in.

Kelley groaned inwardly. Charlie could be so dense - She should’ve known she wouldn’t be able to count on him putting the pieces together and realizing that the ‘mystery girl’ was Alex, who Kelley had been attached to since their fight. Since even before their fight, really.

“Maybe I will,” Kelley said. “And then, maybe, I’ll tell you about how Sonnett’s been crushing on you for like, three years.”

Charlie laughed at that. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Do you want it to be?”

Charlie glanced over at her, as if to try and read if Kelley was trying to imply something.

It was nice to know that there were people out there just as dense, if not denser, than Kelley herself.

“Whatever. I bet you’re glad you don’t have to sit with Morgan anymore, though. We’re definitely way funnier,” Charlie said as they approached Alex’s compartment. He didn’t make a move to stop – apparently assuming that Kelley wouldn’t hesitate to keep walking with him. To walk away from Alex.

“Charlie, I can’t just leave Alex alone. Besides, she’s my friend. Maybe we could invite her to come sit with us?”

Charlie made a look of disgust. “I can guarantee she wants that about as much as I do. Which is pretty much not at all.”

It dawned on Kelley that her split world suddenly had much more impact than it had a couple weeks ago.

“I’m not leaving her to sit alone for the rest of the train ride.”

“Come on, Kelley, she’s a Morgan. That’s what she thrives off of. Being alone,” Charlie said nonchalantly. “And I’ve missed hanging out with you. We all have.”

“There’s going to be loads of time for that back at school. I’m not just going to be mean.”

“I told you, it’s not mean! She’ll probably be thankful you’re not bugging her!”

Kelley crossed her arms and leaned back against the door of her chosen compartment. “I’m sorry, Charlie. I’ll see you when we get there.”

Something about her stance must have tipped off Charlie that she wasn’t going to change her mind.

“You’d better. I’ve missed you. I think I’ve missed our friendship for a while, actually,” Charlie said bashfully, meeting Kelley’s eyes shyly. Kelley’s heart tugged as she remembered how thankful she was to have Charlie as her best friend.

“Yeah, I’ve missed you too. I’ll see you at dinner?”

“You better not skip it, O’Hara.” And with a wink, Charlie was off. But everything was starting to tie back together. Kelley watched him walk away, and drew comfort from the fact that he wasn’t actually walking away from her. Not this time.

She rejoined Alex in the compartment. Alex looked over from the window and smiled softly.

“You guys good now?”

“Yeah, I think we are.”

“I’m glad to hear it – don’t give me that look, I really am. I know how much he means to you.”

“No quite the same as what you mean to me,” Kelley teased, reassuring Alex in a lighthearted tone. She leaned over, planning on giving Alex a quick kiss – but Alex leaned back quick as a flash.

“Not here, Kelley. The windows are glass – someone might see us.”

Kelley winced. She tried not to, but every time Alex hid their relationship, she had flashbacks to when she thought that Alex was homophobic and somehow disgusted by the possibility of Kelley having feelings that extended past their friendship. Alex caught the wince before Kelley could hide it, and sympathy crossed her face as she reached out to take Kelley’s hands.

“I’m sorry, Kelley. I’m just not ready. The Wizarding community has been slow to accept people like us, you know? And I don’t really have a family anymore - I can’t lose friends over this.”

Kelley wanted to ask what kind of friends they were if they couldn’t accept Alex for who she was.

But she didn’t. She just smiled and nodded until Alex’s guilt was assuaged, and tried not to think about how much she wanted to kiss her, or how much she wanted Charlie and the rest of the world to know how _proud_ she was to be dating Alex Morgan.

She tried not to think about how much she wanted Alex to be proud to date her, too.

***

Charlie really was oblivious.

Kelley sat with him for dinner, as she said she would. She was happy to hang out with Sonnett and Dansby again, and they were overjoyed to have her back and participating fully in their mischief. Sonnett kept charming carrots under her breath to fly and hit Marcus Flint in the back of her head, but from the direction of the end of the Slytherin table. He kept getting up and storming over to his housemates and demanding them to stop, leaving the four Gryffindors in heaps of silent laughter.

Alex glanced though the crowd of loud students at Kelley, an amused smile playing on her lips. “ _I know it’s you_ ,” her eyes seemed to say. Kelley pretended to look confused, feigning innocence, but lost it when Marcus cut through her line of view to angrily demand if it was _Alex_ behind the attacks. She heard Alex say “For Merlin’s sake, Marcus, why would I waste my time on a juvenile prank? What do you take me as, a _Gryffindor_?” Marcus snarled and went back to his seat, where he became to the perfect target once again for Sonnett to gleefully continue her assault.

Every time a carrot connected with his head, Sonnett would look over at Charlie to see if he noticed. Charlie would laugh and give her a high five. A _high five_. The poor fourth year looked dejected, and Kelley felt for her.

Christen was out of the hospital wing after having an entire break of Madam Pomfrey’s magical healing. She was sitting with Lindsey and Rose, and threw the Gryffindors a look that was somehow both amused and disapproving. Kelley shot her a grin back, just happy that her friend was doing well again.

It only took one look at Tobin, across two tables of chattering students, to know they were breaking curfew that night to catch up, and that they would be dragging Charlie and Christen with them. It was about time to get the old gang back together.

“Kitchen. 10:30?” Tobin mouthed. Kelley nodded and nudged Charlie.

“Hey, Charles. Kitchen tonight, 10:30,” she said. “You in?”

“You know it,” he said. Sonnett looked at Kelley, then Charlie, squinting suspiciously at their interaction.

“You guys are sneaking out and you’re not even inviting me?” she commented, eyebrow quirked up. Kelley was about to reassure her, but Charlie beat her to it.

“Sorry, but no can do, Son. This is for the big kids only,” he said. Kelley rolled her eyes at his absolute idiocy. She saw Sonnett’s face fall and her latest carrot drop to the ground before it could even hit another unsuspecting Slytherin. She added ‘talk to Charlie about not treating Sonnett like a child’ to her to-do list.

On the way out of the Great Hall and to the common room, Kelley pulled Sonnett to the side, away from the crowd. The younger girl tried to shake Kelley’s arm off, but Kelley held tight.

“Sonnett. Don’t listen to Charlie. He’s the biggest idiot at this school,” she said.

“Guess you would know. You guys gonna hook up in the kitchen tonight? Isn’t that kind of unsanitary?” Sonnett grumbled, staring at her shoes at attempting to straighten her perpetually crooked tie.

“No. We broke up. I’m gay, actually,” Kelley said brightly. At least that news could bring joy to one person. Sonnett looked up and gaped at her.

“Wha – well, I knew you guys broke up, I figured you might be getting back togeth – you’re gay?” Sonnett stuttered, eyes wide. Kelley held back a laugh.

“Yep, sure am. And Charlie’s available, and interested, I think. I’m pretty sure. Just give him some time. Like I said, world’s biggest idiot.”

“He thinks I’m a just a kid,” Sonnett said mournfully.

“He does _not_. He simply doesn’t think before he lets words tumble out of his mouth, which is one if the reasons I like him so much. One of these days, he’s going to forget to think and tell you how much he likes you when you least expect it. Trust me,” Kelley said. Sonnett brightened considerably over that, and before Kelley knew what was happening, Sonnett was pulling her into a tight hug.

“Thanks, Kelley,” she murmured. “I missed you.”

Kelley let the smaller girl hug her, smiling softly and the fondness she had for Sonnett. “I missed you too, Em.”

***

Raiding the kitchen was ridiculously easy.

Tobin had made friends with all the house elves back in their second year, her easy smile and laid-back personality winning them over as easily as she had won over Kelley. The second the four of them walked into the large space, the elves where whirring, bringing them butterbeer and pastries. Kelley smiled and thanked them, but Christen frowned.

“It’s just not right, you know?” she said as they made their way out of the kitchen, toward the closest common room – the Hufflepuff one. “Shouldn’t they at least, like, get paid or something?”

“’Ey like id, Chris,” Charlie said through a mouthful of croissant. Christen through him a disgusted look until he swallowed, shrugging his broad shoulders. “Hogwarts treats them well. They’d rather be here than anywhere else.”

“I’m kind of with Chris on this one,” Tobin said as she muttered the password to open the Hufflepuff door. They stepped into the portrait hole as quietly as they could without dropping any of their armfuls of sweets. Kelley shook her head and coughed in the outline of “whipped.” Tobin glared and shoved her playfully, making Kelley dramatically stagger to keep the butterbeers from falling onto the floor. Charlie laughed loudly, earning a shush from Christen as they settled down into the yellow armchairs.

“So, Chris, you’re feeling completely better?” Kelley asked as they cracked open the drinks.

“Yeah, the break was really good for me. My mum is astonished at how fast wizarding healing works, she was really worried,” Christen said. “But Tobin was there with me the entire time, and it helped her to know I wasn’t alone.” Christen made those gooey eyes at Tobin, who was engrossed in her blueberry muffin, but looked up to grin at her girlfriend with crumbs scattered across her face.

“Yeah, I sure was. It’s really great to have us all back together again, though,” Tobin mused. Leave it to Tobin to casually speak everyone’s mind, in a way everyone else was too timid to do.

Because sitting there, listening to the fire crackle and watching the time tick later into the night, Kelley realized how much she had missed her best friends. As she looked around her, she noticed for the first time how much they had really grown from first and second year. Charlie’s frame had turned muscular, and though he had the same lopsided grin and fiery hair, he was more confident. Less goofy and no longer prone to obnoxiousness. Christen was not nearly as astute as she had once been, turning relaxed in the presence of Tobin, and she had grown beautiful – all green eyes and long hair and that girl next door vibe. Tobin was still _Tobin_ , but she wasn’t stringing along an endless hoard of girls anymore. Her smile had matured, now that it was only directed at Christen.

Kelley supposed she had grown, too. Maybe not physically – she was the shortest person in the room, possibly the shortest person in her year - even Sonnett, a fourth year, had an inch on her now – but she was comfortable with herself. With her freckles, her stature, her sexuality, her emotions.

Kelley wasn’t really one to get emotional. Maybe it was the warm glow of the butterbeer - but as her friends chattered around her, she felt her eyes prickle slightly as she took in the people her best friends in the entire world were becoming.

“What’s going on with you, Kell?” Tobin asked, leaning over from her spot next to Christen to see why Kelley was being uncharacteristically quiet. “Scared about the Hufflepuff match coming up?”

“You wish,” Kelley scoffed, but it fell a little flat thanks to the emotion she couldn’t quite keep out of her voice. Christen studied her curiously, and as always, read her like an open book. She reached over to place a hand over Kelley’s, and Kelley looked down, slightly embarrassed.

Charlie didn’t even notice. “I bet Kells is worried about our O.W.L.s. I heard the Transfiguration was is a bitch,” he said thoughtfully. “You up for it, Kelley?”

“Maybe you should be worried about the potions one. I saw you make literal mud when we were trying to make that sleeping draught last semester,” Kelley shot back, and Charlie grinned at her easily, not a bit of malice in his expression – he definitely had matured. They all had.

“So, are we sleeping here, or are we risking detention by wandering back to our dorms?” Kelley asked, yawning. Christen glanced at Tobin.

“I’m gonna stay with Tobin. It’s up to you two where you crash,” she said. “Let’s clean up our mess so the house elves don’t have to, though.” Charlie rolled his eyes as Christen got busy sweeping up their crumbs and collecting their empty butterbeer bottles, muttering something about house elves having cleaning in their DNA, but helped her nonetheless. Once Tobin and Christen wished them a goodnight and retreated upstairs, Charlie glanced over at Kelley.

“I’m kind of wishing for my four-poster bed. I don’t know it is about Hufflepuffs, but they stuff couches way too much to be comfortable,” he said, prodding at the admittedly overstuffed yellow couch with his wand. It remained stubbornly plump.

“I’m with you. And you’re a – what do they call those people who are snotty enough to be Dumbledore’s favorites?” Kelley asked. “Oh yeah, you’re a _prefect_. How much trouble can we get in?”

Charlie hit in her in the arm lightly over the jab, but chuckled nonetheless. “You’re impossible, Kells.”

“You love it.” Charlie’s eyes softened.

“Yeah yeah. Come on,” he said, leading the way to the exit. “Grab some of those leftover snacks. They’ll still be good in the morning.”

Kelley and Charlie wandered through the dark passages with an easy silence born of tiredness. It was approaching two in the morning, and they both were looking forward to a good night’s sleep on full stomachs after a night of laughter. Kelley wasn’t really expecting to get caught, and she figured if they were, it would just be Becky or someone. Who else would be patrolling so close to the Gryffindor common room?

But they were caught. And not by Becky.

Alex and Marcus turned the corner at the same time Kelley and Charlie did. Alex caught sight of them first, eyes growing wide, attempting the distract Marcus before he could notice the Gryffindors breaking curfew. But it was futile – they were walking in Kelley and Charlie’s direction. There was nowhere else to look.

Marcus’s face lit up with glee.

“Well well, what do we have here? Two Gryffindors, out of bed? At this hour? And a Gryffindor prefect, nonetheless! With you two banned from Quidditch, Hufflepuff with steam roll Gryffindor!” He said with delight as the two Slytherin prefects approached them. Alex rolled her eyes.

“Marcus, prefects can’t ban students from Quidditch,” she reminded. Charlie had squared his shoulders, matching Marcus’s step so that they were chest to chest. Alex glanced over at Kelley, the question playing across her face – what was Kelley doing with her ex-boyfriend at two in the morning?

But she couldn’t ask Kelley that. Not in front of Marcus and Charlie. So Kelley didn’t answer. She couldn’t, really.

“No, but maybe we can give them a well-placed detention,” Marcus said. “Or take enough points from their house to kill Gryffindor morale.” Charlie balled up his fists.

“Nice to know that the only way Slytherin has a chance at the house cup is by sabotaging the enemy,” Charlie spit out.

“Keep talking to me like that, Weasley, and I’ll give you and your ex-girlfriend detention together for the rest of the semester. Maybe in the same time slot as Quidditch practice,” Marcus spit back. Alex’s face contorted into a grimace – the idea of Kelley spending a daily hour of alone time with her ex likely didn’t sit with her well.

Charlie shoved at Marcus’s shoulders, which only made the Slytherin more gleeful. “Oooh, someone’s touchy about _that_ subject. Heard she’s a dyke, Weasley. Was it you that turned her into one? Were you really that bad in bed?”

“That’s _enough_ ,” Alex growled, stepping in between the two boys as Charlie pulled his fist back to strike Marcus. Kelley grabbed at Charlie’s arms, attempting to keep her friend from doing something that would _actually_ get him banned from Quidditch. Charlie struggled, glaring at Alex with pure loathing.

“Stay out of this, Morgan. As if you don’t talk endless shit about Kelley behind her back. After she goes out of her way to be nice to you. You’re even worse than him,” Charlie seethed, and Kelley had to tighten her grip to keep him from breaking loose. Hurt shown through Alex’s eyes, looking at Kelley – but what did she expect Kelley to do? To defend Alex’s honor? To reassure Charlie that Alex was Kelley’s favorite person, without tipping him off about their relationship?

Kelley stayed silent, opting instead to put all her energy into dragging Charlie backwards, away from Marcus, who was gloating openly. Alex’s eyes hardened and she straightened her back, adopting her usual unbreakable persona in a blink.

“You don’t know anything about me, Weasley. We’re not going to give you detention, but I’m taking thirty points from Gryffindor.”

Charlie snarled at that. “You can’t take points from a prefect.”

“Well _she’s_ not a prefect, is she?” Alex said, jabbing her wand toward Kelley. She didn’t even look at Kelley, keeping her eyes fixed on Charlie’s face, but Kelley felt anger bubble up in her stomach at the impersonal quip. “And you both have food that looks like it came from the kitchens, so that’ll be an additional twenty points.” Marcus was on the verge of laughing at Alex’s words.

“Come on Alex, let’s give them detention, too. What’s the harm?” He suggested. Kelley had to take a deep breath to keep herself from letting go of Charlie to allow him to give Marcus what he deserved.

“No. I already said that. The points are final,” Alex decided. “We’re leaving. We have another hour of patrol tonight. No need in wasting more time.” Her eyes found Kelley’s at that, and where Kelley was expecting an apology, she only found ice.

“Cowards!” Charlie yelled after them as they walked away, shoes clicking ominously down the marble hallway. “You’re both cowards!”

“Shut up, Charles,” Kelley muttered, yanking at his arms to get him to walk toward the Fat Lady. “The last thing we need is to attract every other prefect in this school.”

“They just took fifty points from us! They had no right!” Charlie exclaimed indignantly, shaking out of Kelley’s hold to charge murderously through the portrait hole. “How can you be _friends_ with Morgan? She’s just as bad as the rest of them!”

“She’s not,” Kelley said softly, following Charlie. She felt emotionally drained, and wanted nothing more than to escape this conversation and head to bed.

“Yes she is. A true friend would’ve let us off easy. It’s not like we did anyone any harm,” Charlie insisted, running his hand through his hair so it stuck up in every direction, only adding to his outraged aura. “You should stop hanging around her. At least we have your back. You know Christen would’ve let us off with a warning.”

“Slytherins are sticklers for the rules. So sue them,” Kelley argued tiredly. She thought wistfully of her dorm, far away from this conversation and the complicated situation she had managed to get herself into with Alex.

“Since when are rules more important than friendships? She didn’t even stick up for you when Flint said all that stuff! What kind of friend is that?”

“She has before, okay Charlie? Just drop it,” Kelley said. She couldn’t think of anything else to defend Alex with. She could understand the pressure of her house to act a certain way, but Marcus? Why would Alex fold to _him_ , of all people? Why did she only care about Kelley when they were in private?

It was all too much. She left Charlie, mouth agape, muttering – “Before? He’s said that shit _before_? I’m gonna – I’m gonna - ” and headed up the stairs to her bed.

Charlie didn’t really mean any harm. He had never liked Alex, admittedly due to unfair prejudice, but Alex had never given him anything to change his mind. She had never shown Charlie her softer side, the side that seemed to only be around when she was alone with Kelley. Charlie was just trying to look out for Kelley – but there was so much he couldn’t understand.

And how could he? Kelley couldn’t tell him about her and Alex. And Alex had been so hard in the corridor, mercilessly taking points from her house, once again shutting down due to outside influences. How could she expect her and Kelley to survive if they became enemies as soon as the public eye arrived?

Kelley tossed and turned all night, the previously anticipated sleep evading her. She twisted the gold clover around her neck restlessly, and woke up still tired with it clenched between her fingers.

***

Charlie was right, O.W.L.s were a point of major stress for Kelley. Well, not all of them. She was expecting an E at the lowest in charms, and figured she could excel in defense against the dark arts and potions as well. Everyone knew divination was a load of dung, so if she failed that, it wasn’t the end of the world.

She was spending an extra hour every day with McGonagall, practicing. She had gotten better at transfiguration, and she swore McGonagall didn’t mind her company, eyes glimmering at every lame or self-deprecating joke that Kelley made. But McGonagall wasn’t one to sugar coat, either.

“O’Hara, you’ve gotten better. But you’re still months behind where you need to be for your O.W.L.,” McGonagall told her. “You have to find a way to improve, and improve quickly.”

Kelley sighed. If she was being honest, the only person that ever helped her _improve quickly_ in transfiguration was Alex. And after that night with Flint and Charlie, she hadn’t seen much of her. Both girls were both angry, and both stubborn.

As if McGonagall could read her mind, she kept talking. “I seem to remember Morgan helping you out quite a bit these last few years,” Kelley’s professor said, looking at Kelley over the rim of her glasses. “And yet, I haven’t seen her with you at all. Maybe you should put any petty drama behind the two of you to get you a passing grade in my class. Your academic success should always come first.” There was a twinkle in McGonagall’s eye that Kelley did not like. She had always had a feeling the older woman had more of an inkling of the nuances of student relationships than most of the actual students did.

“Good luck with that,” Kelley muttered to herself. McGonagall, of course, caught it with her eerie, catlike hearing.

“Ah. I forgot how impossible 16 year olds can be. Then it’s settled. You and Morgan will both meet me here tomorrow, after the Hufflepuff match. I will not sacrifice your academic integrity, Ms. O’Hara. You are dismissed for the day.” McGonagall held her gaze calmly as Kelley glared. Recognizing a losing battle, she huffed and swept her books into her bag.

Did it really have to take a meddling teacher to fix her and Alex’s relationship over a petty fight? Kelley wondered what that said about her and Alex.

She stormed into charms, where Flitwick greeted her enthusiastically. She dropped next to Charlie, not bothering to read the instructions for the day, happy to glower at her textbook. Charlie gave her a sideways look but didn’t say anything, recognizing the usual frustration that came after Kelley’s attempts at transfiguration.

Kelley’s glower turned harder when she saw Alex sitting next to Servando. Alex met her eyes and raised an eyebrow.

Kelley couldn’t help but wonder if Alex had paired up with her ex just to get on Kelley’s nerves.

***

After the week she had had, Kelley was beyond thankful for the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff.

Flying always helped clear her head. She and Sonnett had been working beautifully together, and even though Tobin wouldn’t admit it, she was sure that even her friend was nervous about the unfailing defensive control she and Sonnett presented on the pitch. Charlie had somehow gotten even better over the break, and the Hufflepuff seeker didn’t really stand a chance against the Gryffindor who was already being looked at by professional scouts.

Nonetheless, Hufflepuff put up a good fight. Tobin flew extraordinarily well with Sam, juking Dansby so many times Kelley thought he might get motion sick. Their tag team outplayed Gryffindor’s chasers, and it was Sonnett and Kelley whacking bludger after bludger that stopped them from gaining a worrying early lead.

“You always were my least favorite person to play against,” Tobin muttered as she flew past Kelley, having missed her last shot on goal due to a bludger narrowly missing her head and breaking her concentration. “Do me a favor next time and just aim for the kill shot.”

“That’s insensitive, Tobs,” Kelley shot back brightly. “I would never break Christen’s heart like that.” Tobin flipped her off and flew away, leaving Kelley to hunt for her next bludger to launch at Sam. Maybe she would hit her broom and take her out of the game for a couple minutes and give Charlie a chance to look for the snitch with fewer distractions.

The Hufflepuffs were up forty when Charlie dove suddenly, straight toward the Gryffindor section of the crowd. The snitch was hovering around the announcer’s table, of all places, and Alex was seated right behind it, cheering on Kelley and the Gryffindor’s.

“Charlie, no,” Kelley muttered to herself when she saw Charlie register Alex as well. He had been gunning for her ever since the altercation with Flint. But Alex understood Quidditch, right? Charlie would do anything he could to catch the snitch and win the game.

Including reaching out so far to close his hand around the golden ball that he slipped off his broom and crashed into Alex with a teeth jarring _thud_.

The announcer yelled out Gryffindor’s win as Kelley flew over to make sure they were both okay. The snitch had been hovering, so Charlie hadn’t actually been going that fast, but it didn’t hurt to check for any broken bones. Charlie scrambled up and off of Alex, holding his fist up in triumph, bowing for the cheering fans all around him.

And Alex – well, Alex looked murderous. She wasn’t hurt, standing up easily and brushing herself off, but she was _angry_. Kelley knew Alex well enough to know that her pride was stinging from being run over by the Gryffindor seeker – being run over by Charlie, at that. She looked up to catch Kelley’s eye, lip curled in a sneer, and turned to storm away from the crowd.

This would be an interesting transfiguration lesson.

After a quick shower and a short ‘congratulations’ to Charlie, Kelley headed off for McGonagall’s classroom. She and Alex hadn’t really talked for a week now. She chewed her lip nervously, unsure of what to expect.

When she got to the classroom, she was surprised to only see Alex, perched stiffly on a desk in the middle of the room. When Kelley walked in, Alex didn’t even look up from her textbook.

“McGonagall’s in a meeting with Dumbledore. She left a note telling us to work on your skills for the next hour,” Alex said. “I heard you need a lot of practice before the end of the year. Let’s start with the canaries.”

“Fuck that,” Kelley muttered, not in the mood for Alex’s impersonal tone. She was tired of dancing around Alex. She thought they had put that behind them last semester. She discarded her bag on a vacant desk and stormed up to Alex, violently shutting her textbook to force the Slytherin to look at her.

“We need to talk,” Kelley said, attempting to yank Alex up from her perch, which was pissing Kelley off. Alex winced and didn’t move an inch.

“Watch it. I’m sore from where your _best friend_ decided to deck me,” she seethed, rubbing at her shoulder.

“You know he was just trying to catch the snitch. You better than anyone should understand Quidditch.”

“And you know that he thinks I’m an awful friend to you. You _let_ him believe that, actually,” Alex shot back. Her eyes were raw and piercing. Kelley stared back at her, refusing to let her hands tap nervously at her thighs. She didn’t want Alex to know the immense effect she always had on Kelley. Not now.

“What do you want from me, Alex? Do you want me to pour out my feelings about you to him? Let him know how endearing I find your confidence? Should I tell him that I can’t get enough of you, and fighting with you like this drives me absolutely insane?” Alex’s eyes softened at Kelley’s words, reaching out to touch her cheek, but Kelley wasn’t done. She ducked away from Alex’s touch so she could keep going.

“No, Alex, you don’t want that. You want to have it all – to be the untouchable Slytherin with no time for a mousy Gryffindor like me, but also to have me wound around your finger, fighting my friends for your honor when _you’re_ being a complete ass. I’m sick of it,” Kelley said. She glared at Alex as hard as she could, which wasn’t really hard at all, because Alex’s face had crumpled into concern.

“That’s not what I think of you. I could give a damn about what Flint thinks, but you guys were breaking the rules. I couldn’t just let you off in front of him. He’d know something was up,” Alex said, pleading laced into her tone. “Come on, Kelley. You know I can’t risk that.”

“Why not?” Kelley was aware at how the volume level in her voice had risen to nearly a yell, and she gave herself a moment to swallow and compose herself. “Alex, I’m pretty much out at this point, and nobody cares. What are you so afraid of?” Kelley asked in a softer tone.

Alex fiddled with her hands, as if trying to decide whether to reach out for Kelley or not. She settled on taking Kelley’s hand and intertwining their fingers. Kelley didn’t fight her this time. She saw vulnerability in Alex’s eyes, vulnerability that she knew Alex had a hard time showing, even after all this time.

“I’m just not ready, Kelley.”

“I don’t see how this can work if you only want to like me when we’re in private.”

“That’s unfair. Everyone knows we’re friends.”

“I don’t want them to know we’re _friends_ , Alex! Can’t you see? I want them - ” Kelley’s voice broke, and she squeezed Alex’s hand and shut her eyes before continuing. “I want them to know that I’m my absolute best self when you’re by my side. I want them to know you make me feel like I’ve got the entire world with me when I’m holding your hand. Don’t you want that too?”

“I do, just not yet,” Alex pleaded, tugging at their joined hands so Kelley had to look into her eyes. “You have to trust me. What can I do to make you trust me?”

“I do trust you, Lex,” Kelley reassured. “I’m just tired of lying. I want my friends to know who I am, who I’m with.”

“What can I do?” Alex implored. “What can I do to make you feel better about us?”

“Go on a date with me,” Kelley said. “To Hogsmeade. There’s a trip in two weeks. Go with me.” Alex looked at her sadly.

“You have to respect that I’m not ready for that,” she whispered.

Kelley didn’t know how to respond. They seemed to have reached an impasse – Kelley couldn’t continue their relationship behind closed doors, and Alex wasn’t ready to have it out in the open. Her heart was heavy with the thought of what that might mean for them.

Would she really have to give up Alex in order to be true to herself?

She thought that maybe she was going to have to walk out of that classroom alone. She was readying herself to take the step to let go of Alex’s hand and leave her in the dusty classroom. She wasn’t sure if there was another option.

“Wait. How about this – we got to Hogsmeade separately, but I’ll meet up with you and we can go on a date. A picnic, up at the Shrieking Shack.” Kelley tilted her head thoughtfully. She knew Alex had chosen that location because students never wandered there – not with the allure of the Three Broomsticks and Honeydukes and countless other shops keeping them in the charming town.

But it was a step. An actual date, in an actual location, with an actual plan. Kelley could work with this – especially if the alternative was letting Alex go.

“Okay, Alex. That sounds perfect,” Kelley agreed. Alex smiled her Kelley smile, looking at the blush across Kelley’s face with adoration. She leaned in and softly pressed her lips to Kelley’s cheek, fingers tracing over the spot so gently a moment later that Kelley’s breath caught in her throat.

“But I wasn’t kidding about this transfiguration. You’re failing that test over my dead body,” Alex said, hopping up to grab a canary. Kelley rolled her eyes and Alex’s ever predictable antics, but pulled her want out anyway.

McGonagall walked by her classroom an hour and a half later, peaking in the window before opening the door. When she saw Alex’s hand on Kelley’s shoulder, speaking words of encouragement into the Gryffindor’s ear, she smiled to herself and kept walking.

***

The upperclassmen hadn’t been kidding when they had told Kelley fifth year was rough.

Every second of free time she had was spent studying with Alex in the library or with Christen, Tobin and Charlie in their spot by the lake. And Kelley _hated_ studying. She was tired of it. She missed the days when she could spend her free evenings pulling pranks on the Slytherins with Sonnett or spending time with creatures in the Forbidden Forrest with Charlie.

The Hogsmeade weekend presented a well needed break, especially after she finally had time to get around to her to-do list one afternoon at the lake. She and Charlie were lying side by side, enjoying the spring warmth while they studied for potions. And for once, they were actually studying. Charlie hadn’t let go of his dream to be a dragon handler, and for that, he needed to ace his potions exam. Kelley almost felt bad interrupting his concentration.

Almost.

“Charles,” she said, grabbing a fistful of the newly green grass and shoving it into his hair to get his attention. Charlie shook his head forcefully, sending the blades flying.

“What?”

“You should really stop treating Sonnett like your little sister.”

“Where on earth did that come from?” Charlie inquired, putting down his quill. “I don’t do that.”

“I literally heard you call her ‘kiddo’ last week when she was trying to get you to ask her to the Hogsmeade weekend.”

“She was not trying to ask me out! She was making fun of me for my taste in butterbeer,” Charlie argued. “If someone younger than me tries to suggest her choice of _dark_ beer is superior, I’m going to point out her inferiority.”

“She doesn’t care what you drink, you moron. Her suggesting that she can show you a better beverage choice if you went to the Three Broomsticks was as straightforward as she could get.” Kelley waited patiently for comprehension to dawn on Charlie’s face. She wondered how he had been competent enough to ask her out last year.

“So you weren’t kidding when you said she has a crush on me.”

“No, dingus. She’s had stars in her eyes for years now. She called you kissable once. Hey – quit – I’m being serious!” Charlie had started to throw grass back at her, but the grin on his face said it all.

“She really likes me, then?” Charlie asked after they were done tearing up the lawn in a perfect circle around them. Kelley rolled her eyes.

“Yes. Ask her out before someone with a decent IQ does first.”

“What’s an IQ?” Kelley laughed and shook her head at Charlie's confusion.

“Nothing you can comprehend, anyway.”

***

Alex kept true to her word.

Kelley arrived at Hogsmeade with Dansby and Mal and Tobin and Christen, and the five of them headed to Honeydukes. Charlie was off with Sonnett (finally), and Kelley smiled to herself about the rant she was sure she would get from the younger Gryffindor later about how dreamy Charlie looked in his light blue shirt.

She caught sight of Alex and Morgan near the cash register, and her smile grew larger. She brushed off her friends with a quick excuse, and Christen glanced knowingly at her.

“Good luck,” her Ravenclaw friend whispered so that only she and Tobin could hear. Tobin looked around to see why Kelley could possibly need any luck, noticed Alex throwing shy looks at Kelley, and smirked so hard that Christen elbowed her.

Alex caught sight of Kelley, too. With a wink, she whispered something to Morgan, then wandered out of the store and into the street out front. Kelley didn’t hesitate to follow.

“Hey beautiful,” Kelley murmured softly as she approached Alex from behind. “Want to get out of here? I think I know a spot of a well stashed picnic basket, if you’re interested.” Alex met Kelley’s eyes with open adoration. She glanced around quickly to make sure all the students were packed into the various shops before taking Kelley’s hand.

“That sounds perfect, actually,” Alex said, letting Kelley take the lead and matching her stride. “I hope this picnic basket has fizzing whizbees.”

“As if I would forget,” Kelley scoffed. It didn’t take them long to leave the rest of the students and the small town, and as soon as they were out of eyesight, Alex let go of Kelley’s hand in favor of wrapping her arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders. Kelley reached around Alex’s waist and pulled her closer.

Kelley had hidden the picnic basket at the top of the hill overlooking the Shrieking Shack only an hour before, and she pulled it out of its concealed spot behind a shrub triumphantly, making Alex giggle. They settled down onto a blanket as Kelley pulled out various foods she had gotten from the kitchen – butterbeer, sandwiches, and of course, fizzing whizbees.

“You didn’t steal this from the kitchens, did you?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion of the impeccably made sandwiches, crusts cut off and everything. Kelley wasn’t exactly known for her attention to detail.

“What do you take me as, a _Gryffindor_?” Kelley said indignantly, putting a hand over her chest. Alex laughed and shoved at her until Kelley relented and put an arm around her shoulders. Alex leaned into the touch, happily munching on her sandwich.

It was perfect. Alex was happy, Kelley was happy. There was still uncertainty about what the future held for them, for their relationship, but they were only sixteen. Kelley figured they had some time to sort everything out.

For now, she was content being here, on a date, with a girl who was so beautiful she took Kelley’s breath away every time she glanced over.

“Stop being cute,” Alex said, staring ahead at the outline of the Shrieking Shack. “I can feel you looking at me.”

“Fine. I’ll deliberately not look at you. You’re not even that interesting.”

“Don’t you dare take my teasing literally.”

“So you like it when I look at you.” Alex looked over at Kelley, eyes scanning freckles and green eyes that glowed in the afternoon sunlight.

“Yeah. I think anyone would be overjoyed to have your attention,” Alex admitted. “How exactly is it that you’re so infuriatingly charming?”

Kelley grinned lopsidedly, knowing it was Alex’s weakness. “Must be an Irish thing. The luck of the Irish, have you heard of it?”

“It has nothing to do with luck,” Alex said, tilting her head up so she could move closer to Kelley’s lips. “It just has everything to do with you.”

And Kelley kissed her softly, relishing the way that Alex’s lips lingered on hers. She brushed her hands through Alex’s hair and smiled against her lips.

She thought she could live in this moment forever, sun on her skin, Alex deep in her embrace. Until a familiar voice interrupted them.

“Kelley?”

***

She should’ve _known_ Charlie and Sonnett would be the two students to also wander off to the Shrieking Shack. She should’ve _guessed_.

At the sound of Charlie’s voice, Alex leapt away from her, panic dancing in her eyes. She looked wildly around, searching for an excuse as to why she had just been kissing Kelley, or as to why they were so clearly on a date.

Charlie was hand in hand with Sonnett, disbelief first showing on his features, morphing quickly into anger. Sonnett just looked timid, clearly not wanting to be in the middle of a confrontation between Charlie and Kelley. Her face fell when Charlie dropped her hand to march up to where Kelley and Alex were sitting.

Kelley got up, too. She could tell this was not going to be easy.

“ _Morgan_ is your mystery girl? _Alex Morgan_?” Charlie demanded. “Are you just trying to get your heart broken?”

“You don’t know anything about her, Charlie. Or us,” Kelley shot back, crossing her arms. Alex had gotten up too, studying Charlie with concern.

“I know more about her than you do, apparently, if you’re willing to date her,” Charlie said. “She’s going to hurt you.”

“She’s not.”

“We’re not dating,” Alex jutted in before Kelley could reply. “We’re just hanging out. As friends.”

Both Charlie and Alex stared at her in disbelief. Charlie had seen them _kissing_ , for Merlin’s sake. What the hell was Alex trying to play at? But Alex just smoothed down her sundress, completely poised. Charlie laughed bitterly.

“See what I mean? She won’t even admit to being with you because you’re a muggle born. Can’t stain the family name,” Charlie sneered. Alex bristled.

“I have no problems with any heritage, Weasley. Don’t pin my family onto me.”

“Oh yeah? Then say it. I already know, I saw you guys. Say it. Say you’re dating Kelley. Let me hear it,” Charlie said, staring Alex down with intensity. “Go on, say it.”

But Alex couldn’t. Kelley already knew that. She stared back at Charlie, eyes hard, but stayed silent. Sonnett threw Kelley a sympathetic look, and that’s what pushed Kelley over the edge. She didn’t want sympathy.

“Cut it out, Charlie,” she said, pushing herself between him and Alex. Charlie stared at her in disbelief.

“You’re going to take _her_ side? I won’t let you,” he said. “I can see how much she’s hurting you, look at this!”

“No, Charlie. Like she said, we’re not dating,” Kelley said coldly. Alex’s eyes flashed as she glanced at Kelley, something like fear dancing there. No, not fear – regret.

“Yeah. There’s _nothing_ going on between us,” Kelley repeated with an air of finality, taking a step back from the scene. “I’m going to head back to the castle to get some more studying in. O.W.L.s are almost upon us.” She picked up her wand and a near empty bottle of butterbeer, taking the last swig before throwing it into the picnic basket. She spoke her last words to Sonnett. “I’m glad you and Charlie finally got together. You guys are really cute.”

With that, she left a bewildered Charlie and a staring Alex to head back to the common room.

***

It was Tobin that walked in on her.

She had no idea why Tobin was back early, or why the Hufflepuff had wandered into the Gryffindor common room. But she had arrived just minutes after Kelley had.

Kelley was a wreck. She was pacing in front of the fire, muttering angrily, trying to digest everything that had happened. It wasn’t like Charlie was going to out Alex. He wasn’t that type of guy. And they had literally been caught in the act, and Alex _still_ wouldn’t give it up. It was all so infuriating, and Kelley’s mind was reeling.

She stopped pacing and felt her anger spread down to her fingers. Without thinking, she turned to the brick above the fire and slammed her fist into it.

“Oy! Kelley, stop!” Tobin’s voice rang through her ears and pain seared through her hand. Tobin swooped in just as Kelley crumpled, cradling her fist. Tobin caught her and pulled her into a tight hug, letting Kelley sob into her shoulder.

The nice thing about Tobin was that she didn’t expect words. Christen and Charlie always wanted an explanation. Tobin just held on tight, soothing Kelley as she let her frustrations pour out through sobs.

Once Kelley had calmed down, Tobin pulled away softly, brushing Kelley’s hair out of her face. She took her hand gingerly, inspecting the split knuckle with a wince.

“Merlin Kelley, I knew you were dense, but did you really think you could win a fight with some bricks?” Tobin teased softly. Kelley gave a watery laugh, wiping at her tears.

“Girls suck, Tobin.”

“I know. For a couple years, I _was_ the girl who sucked,” Tobin agreed. “Christen likes to remind me of it every now and then.” Kelley smiled at the memory of Tobin being an ass their third year. “But listen, Kelley. Alex cares about you. I know it, Christen knows it. Charlie’s about as thick as you, so he doesn’t know it yet, but he will.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. We’re done.”

“For now,” Tobin said lightly. “You guys have never been able to stay apart for too long.”

“I’m tired, Tobin.”

“I know. And that’s okay. Keep your head up, O’Hara. You’ve always got us.”

Kelley supposed she did. And that had to be good enough, for now.

***

Kelley felt like she passed her transfiguration O.W.L. – not by much. But hopefully, she had scraped by.

She was more proud of that possibility than of the O performances she gave in charms and defense against the dark arts. She had taken to studying alone for her tests, immersing herself into textbooks and practice spells instead of facing her own depressing reality.

She and Alex really were broken up. She had half hoped Alex would give chase, that she would give Kelley some grand apology, but the Slytherin somehow also seemed to be mad.

Kelley asked Rose about it, figuring she was the closest to Alex outside of Kelley, especially now that they were _always_ in the library together. Rose spoke softly and calmly.

“She feels like you’re choosing Charlie, Kelley. She feels like you guys being public isn’t that big of a deal, and that you chose to make it one. That you’d rather agree with him than just stick up for her as a person. It’s a hard situation.” Kelley had muttered a ‘thank you’ before storming off.

Alex could be mad. That was fine. It was her decision. She was probably doing great, anyway, with her stack of Os that would be coming in the mail that summer.

Kelley sat with Tobin and Christen and Charlie and Sonnett on the way home, just like old times. Except it wasn’t – the couples there just made her feel more lonely. And they were all walking on eggshells around her, throwing glances at her not quite healed knuckles which only infuriated her more.

She was happy to spend the summer alone. She needed it. She wanted to kick around a football and forget the magical world even existed for a while.

She came out to her family. They were fine with it. Erin even said it explained the whole Charlie fiasco, then asked if Charlie was open to dating muggles.

She got her test scores in the mail – she _had_ passed transfiguration. She was overjoyed.

It was the addition of the Daily Prophet brought with the scores that made her stomach swoop with unmatched dread.

**Mass Breakout from Azkaban, Morgan at the Lead. Rewards Set.**

Kelley stared, then threw the paper at the wall so hard that Blue cawed indignantly and flew up to the roof. She shut her eyes hard.

Kelley had to find Alex. Before it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna combine all of year 5 into one chapter in a couple days. still planning on making this 8 chapters, one for each year with an epilogue. 
> 
> side note - i started writing this before i realized that sonnett is one of the gayest humans alive. too late to change the story, my apologies
> 
> glad to be back, though. i've missed you all <3

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go


End file.
